Volume 146 — DISCLAIMERS.
Reading edition
[Sir Alfred Mond states that there is absolutely no foundation for the announcement made in some newspapers that a peerage is to be conferred upon him and that his name is to be included in the list of this year's birthday honours.—Daily Chronicle.]
"No bally fear! I won't be a peer; I've given my bond," Says Sir Alfred Mond; "But it won't make me scunner If they elevate Brunner." "A belted earldom's far beyond My poor deserts: it must be Mond. He's so distinguished, such a stunner In every sort of way," says Brunner. "As a thorough-going democrat I always travel steerage; I'd sooner eat my Sunday hat Than take a nasty Peerage; Such sops the snobbish crowd may soothe, But not yours truly, Handel Booth." "As a simple Knight I'm quite all right, But to make me a peer Would be rather queer; It might also disturb Sir George," says Sir Herb. "This time you've backed the winning horse, I'm bound to be a Duke, of course; But wait and see—the slightest hitch Might altogether queer my pitch; So mum's the word," says Little Tich. "The rumours of Our elevation Are totally without foundation. On peerages We turn Our backs, Signed with Our seal, Revue-King Max." "He that on frippery sets his heart May purchase titles such as Bart.; These garish gauds my spirit spurns, I'm greater as I am," says Burns. "Yon tale aboot ma Coronet Is comin' off, but not juist yet; Aw'm haudin' oot for somethin' smarter, For choice the Thistle or the Garter; Whichever ribbon is the broader A'll tak wi' joy," says Harry Lauder.
Voice from Above (to individuals entering house with burglarious intent). "I say, you'd better come again after a while; we aren't all in bed yet."