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Reading edition
THE PACE OF LIFE
(AS RECORDED BY THE FILM DRAMA AND TIMED BY A DOLLAR WATCH)
From love at first sight to end of successful courtship, 2½ minutes.
Breakfast, 45 seconds.
Ascent of the Jungfrau, 5 minutes.
A riot, 1 minute, 45 seconds.
A wedding, 1½ minutes.
A conflagration, 55 seconds.
A night of restless tossing on a bed of pain, 35 seconds.
From discovery of wife's faithlessness to attempt at suicide, 50 seconds.
Reconciliation between life-long enemies, 1 minute.
Trust monopolist converted to endow a hospital and reorganise business on a profit-sharing basis, 1½ minutes.
A piano recital, 30 seconds.
A battle in Mexico, 1½ minutes.
A major abdominal operation, 19 seconds.
Establishing identity of long-lost heir, 6 seconds.
Buy your hats at O'Grady's—they're different, 2 minutes.
Getting Central on the telephone, instantaneous.
Central gives the right connection, 2 seconds. (Incidentally it may be remarked that the film drama can never hope to reproduce the most powerful comic device of the legitimate stage. This consists in saying to Central, "Yes, I want two-four-six-thr-r-re-e," the most notable advance in dramatic art since the invention of the inflated bladder.)
Restoration of lost memory and discovery of hiding-place of lost documents, 10 seconds.
Orator sways hostile audience, 15 seconds.
Detailed plan for robbing Metropolitan Museum formulated by six conspirators, 15 seconds.
Twenty years pass, 2 seconds.