CHURCH ETIQUETTE.

Surely the church is the place where one day's truce ought to be allowed to the vanities, the dissensions and animosities of mankind.—Burke.

The church is sometimes sarcastically referred to as "the social stepping-stone." It is a fact that the newly made rich and the vulgar often choose a church attended by the people of fashion whose acquaintance they most desire, rent a high-priced pew, and become prominent through their benefactions and their services in church work. They are "taken up," after a time, in a fashion, and unless too socially impossible through lack of good breeding, may, from "fringers," become "climbers." "I might go to that church for a hundred years and no one would notice me," bitterly complained a woman who had undertaken the social uplift via the church. The woman in question defeated her own object. She dressed in the extreme of style; she always came in late, with much rustle of silk and rattle of bangles; her hair was "touched up" and her face rouged. The well-bred and refined members condemned her on these grounds. Nevertheless, where a stranger comes who bears the hall-mark of culture and refinement, the church connection is often an aid to social habilitation, though it should never be sought as such.

Friendly Advances.—Friendly advances generally come from pew neighbors. Respond to them courteously but without undue eagerness. Do not expect your pastor to become your social sponsor with his congregation, and remember that though he will probably call after letters of church membership are presented, you have no claim upon his family, nor the families of any of the church officers through acquaintance in business life. This is often a grievance to people from smaller towns who, moving to a city, expect the families of their business associates to assist them socially. Two men may be partners for ten years without their wives knowing each other by sight, if they chance to move in different social circles.

Demeanor.—One should dress quietly at church, give attention to the service and the clergyman, and not linger unduly in the vestibule to gossip or greet friends. To notify the usher if one's pew will not be occupied is a courtesy if the preacher is popular and the church crowded. To be disagreeable in case strangers are shown to one's pew, or mistakenly seated there, is unkind and unchristian. Giggling, smiles, exchange of smiles or bows in the church proper are regarded as bad form.

[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 777]

NEIGHBORHOOD ETIQUETTE.

Neighborliness is a quality little exercised in cities, where one may live next door to people for years and merely know their names. Some people prefer not to know their neighbors, fearing undue familiarity on their part. The relationship may be a very pleasant one if both parties observe certain restraints. It is not well to become too intimate. Nobody wants a neighbor running in at all hours, with or without an errand. Sometimes to sit on the back porch with a book or paper seems to invite a neighbor to "run over" and the hour's rest or mental recreation is given over to small talk.

A neighbor has no more right to enter without knocking than any other caller, whether by kitchen or front door. It is an intrusion, a disregard of the reserve that should characterize neighborly intercourse. No matter how friendly, friendship will last longer where the forms of decorum are observed.

Borrowing.—The exchange of "kitchen-kindnesses" should be ventured upon rarely. By these is meant the plate of cookies or biscuit or doughnuts we send our neighbor on baking-day. Some families prefer their own cooking. A woman who had been annoyed by many unsolicited donations of this kind, persisted in though unreciprocated, finally piled the sent-in biscuit rather ostentatiously on the garbage can in full sight of her neighbor's window. Other hints had failed, this was effective—a rather violent remedy, but after all not undeserved. In case of illness, where one has no maid, or the family must care for the sick, a fresh cake or a tasty dessert may be offered, and will seldom fail of appreciation. Knowing the circumstances, one need not hesitate over the proffer of a neighborly kindness.

There is little excuse in the city for the borrowing of kitchen staples which is the bane of some country neighborhoods. A borrowing neighbor is an affliction—a nuisance which unfortunately doesn't come under the jurisdiction of the Board of Health.

[778 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]

CARRIAGE ETIQUETTE.

A story is told of a certain great lady who visited at the court of a reigning monarch on a secret matrimonial mission. The monarch had three daughters; the emperor of her own country had a marriageable son. Before overtures were made for an alliance, the lady was to see the three princesses and decide which one should be honored by the proposal. It was her whim to rely upon "the carriage test." She watched the young princesses as they alighted from the royal carriage. The oldest one descended clumsily, displaying too much of the royal lingerie. The second skipped out, disdaining the step. The third descended gracefully and with dignity, and Cupid's ambassador decided she would make the most fitting empress.

At certain finishing schools, lessons in deportment include training in how to enter and leave a vehicle gracefully. Stepping out on the right-hand side, the right foot is placed on the step, the left naturally falls on the ground. Entering, the left foot is first advanced. In this way the other foot clears the body of the carriage without awkwardness.

Minor Items.—The rule that the owner of the carriage occupies the right-hand seat even when accompanied by a guest, is almost universally observed. The only exception seems to be when the guest is a person of unusual distinction.

To place one's carriage at the disposal of a friend is a great courtesy, and should never be abused by the recipient. In case of accident the occupant should pay the bills for repairs, or at least urge that she be allowed to do so.

If a lady invites a friend to pay calls with her, dropping her companion to call on some acquaintance while she goes on to see a friend of her own, the lady thus favored must not keep her waiting on her return, more than the few moments necessary to make her adieux.