THE ABSURD A.B.C.
Reading edition
JOHN LANE THE BODLEY HEAD LONDON & NEW YORK
A for the APPLE or Alphabet pie, Which all get a slice of. Come taste it & try. B is the BABY who gave Mr. Bunting Full many a long day’s rabbit skin hunting. C for the CAT that played on the fiddle When cows jumped higher than ‘Heigh Diddle Diddle!’ D for the DAME with her pig at the stile, ’Tis said they got over, but not yet a while.
E for the Englishman, ready to make fast The giant who wanted to have him for breakfast. F for the Frog in the story you know, Begun with a wooing but ending in woe. G for Goosey Gander who wandered upstairs, And met the old man who objected to prayers.
H for poor Humpty who after his fall, Felt obliged to resign his seat on the wall. I for the Inn where they wouldn’t give beer, To one with too much and no money, I fear. J does for poor Jack and also for Jill, Who had so disastrous a tumble down hill.
K for calm Kitty, at dinner who sat, While all the good folks watched the dog & the cat. L for Little man, gun and bullets complete, Who shot the poor duck and was proud of the feat. M for Miss Muffet, with that horrid spider, Just dropped into tea and a chat beside her. N for the Numerous children, they who Were often too much for their mother in Shoe. O the Old person that cobwebs did spy, And went up to sweep ’em Oh ever so high! P for the Pie made of blackbirds to sing, A song fit for supper, a dish for a king.
Q for Queen Anne who sat in the sun Till she, more than the lily resembled the bun. R stands for Richard & Robert, those men Who didn’t get up one fine morning till ten! S for the Snail that showed wonderful fight, Putting no less than twenty-four tailors to flight!
T stands for Tom, the son of the piper, May his principles change as his years grow riper. U for the Unicorn, keeping his eye on The coveted crown, and its counsel the Lion. V is for Victuals, including the drink, The old woman lived on surprising to think!
W for the WOMAN who not over nice, Made very short work of the three blind mice. X is the X that is found upon buns, Which daughters not liking may come in for sons. Y for Yankee Doodle of ancient renown, Both he & his pony that took him to town. Z for the Zany who looked like a fool, For when he was young he neglected his school.
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WALTER CRANE’S PICTURE BOOKS RE-ISSUE:
The following may be had in this series: This Little Pig The Fairy Ship King Luckieboy Mother Hubbard The Three Bears The Absurd A.B.C.
John Lane The Bodley Head London & New York
Her neck did she CRANE, As she looked up the LANE To see the Three Bears pass by. They all went in, oddly, At the head of the Bodley An A.B.C. for to buy.
She went rather nearer To get a good look, And when she came back He had run through her book!
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Transcriber’s notes:
Table of Contents added to aid navigation.
In the original, the text was interlaced with the illustrations. In this etext it has been placed below the associated illustration.
Punctuation and spacing “A.B.C.” has been used for all occurrences.
Full stops or commas have been added where omitted at the ends of lines.
In The Absurd A.B.C., the positions of the apostrophes have been corrected in “Full many a long day’s rabbit skin hunting” and “went up to sweep ’em”