English as She is Spoke.

An intelligent foreigner is said to have expressed himself after the following fashion on the absurdities of the English language: “When I discovered that if I was quick I was fast, if I stood firm I was fast, if I spent too freely I was fast, and that not to eat was to fast, I was discouraged; but when I came across this sentence, ‘The first one won one one-dollar prize,’ I was tempted to give up English and learn some other language.”