Note 75 — Chapter VI · Magic Rites as affecting the Life of Man (continued 3)

In Denys’ Descriptive Dictionary of British Malaya, under the word “Marriage,” we find:—

“The only terms for marriage in Malay are the Arabic and Persian ones, respectively nikah and kahwin, the native ones having probably been displaced by these and forgotten.”

Both these words are used in Selangor, the first (nikah), which properly signifies the mere ceremony or “wedding,” being more commonly used by the better class of Malays than the more comprehensive kahwin, which corresponds pretty nearly to the English word “marriage.” Words describing the married state with reference to one of the parties only, however, are in frequent use: such as the bĕrsuami and bĕristri of the higher classes, and the bĕrlaki and bĕrbini of the common people; and yet again there is the word bĕrumah-rumah, which is applied indifferently to either of the two parties or to both, and is the politest word that can be used with reference to the common people, but is never applied to Rajas, in whose case bĕrsuami and bĕristri alone are used.

I may add, on the authority of Mr. H. Conway Belfield, lately Acting-Resident of Selangor, that a curious periphrastic expression is sometimes used by Perak women in talking of their husbands, whom they call rumah tangga, which literally means “House and House-ladder,” and which is tantamount to saying, “My household,” instead of “My husband.” ↑