Note 68 — Chapter VI · Magic Rites as affecting the Life of Man (continued 3)

Betrothal is called tunangan or pinangan. When the parents of a marriageable youth perceive a suitable “match” for their son, they send a messenger to her parents to ask if she has yet been “bespoken” (kalau ada orang sĕbut). If the reply is satisfactory, the messenger is again despatched to intimate the desire of the youth’s parents to “bespeak” the hand of the favoured individual for his son, and to arrange a day for a meeting. These preliminaries are accompanied by the usual polite self-depreciation on both sides. Thus, the girl’s father begins by saying, “You wish to bespeak the hand of my daughter, who knows neither how to cook nor how to sew” (yang ta’tahu masak, ta’tahu mĕnjait). But the custom is not carried to such extremes as it is in China.68