PREFACE. (continued 2)

My husband had an excellent private connection, and had I been in a shop in the neighbourhood, and got a person who would have done me justice into my employ, I could have supported my family well; but that was out of the question. It so happened that I had never before had to seek a lodging, and I took a small house a little way off, and went to it in a fortnight after my husband’s death. I have often thought that I should have gone into some country place, where rent and provisions were cheap; then I thought, as my husband was sixteen years in his place, and had he left it alive would have had some allowance made him, that with my large young family I might get some assistance from the commissioners of Fairy Land. But my application was refused in a sneering sort of way, and I soon perceived that it was thought I had got more than I had a right to, hard as I had strived to get it together. I was advised by some who knew me to go into business, but as I was quite ignorant of everything of the kind, I was afraid to risk what was to bring my children up with. There was a little berth in Fairy Land to supply the boys with fruit and cakes; this was likely to become vacant by its possessor having become very infirm, and I applied for it. Some time passed and I heard nothing of it, so I thought no more about it. The time came that my girl received her yearly present, and when the Duchess heard of my misfortune, she sent me a handsome present, and Victoria’s yearly gift was to be increased. I felt very grateful towards her, for hers seemed the only hand that was stretched forth in kindness towards me. I saw an advertisement of a public house to be let, and I went to Union Street, Southwark, according to the address, and was referred to a street in Wapping. I went to the house, but did not approve of it; and as I returned I thought I would go to the counting-house of Barclay and Perkins, and inquire for a house a little way out of town. Not knowing exactly where it was, I went into a spirit shop to inquire, and the barmaid said it was at the bottom of the street; but just then she looked at the clock, and told me that I should be too late, as they never did any business after four o’clock; and as it did not want above a minute or two, and with the child in my arms, I could not get there in time, I went home, thinking to go again in a day or two. But the next day I was informed that the little matter I had applied for at Fairy Land was at my service. To accept this humble occupation I had to crush all the pride I had, which was very little, still it was a bitter pill; but I considered that if I gained little, I could not lose much. Had I known the terms I was to have it on, I certainly would not have accepted it; as another person who was a maker of sweetmeats was admitted, and I stood no chance with such a competition.

About that time I heard of a vacancy in an excellent foundation school for a boy, and I set about trying to get one of mine in. It happened to be Alderman Birch who had the presentation, and his son was rector of St. Mary Woolnoth; and some of the inhabitants who had known me when a child, took up my cause, and got a petition to the alderman, signed by the bankers, and, indeed, all the influential gentlemen of the neighbourhood. I succeeded in getting in my second boy Joseph, then seven years old. Thus I received a benefit when a widow, where I had been cast forth an orphan. This school had been the entire gift of a lady in the reign of Queen Elizabeth; and as one of the qualifications was, that no person who was so poor as to receive parochial relief was to have her children admitted, I considered my child quite eligible. If it had been in the hands of any other alderman, I certainly should not have got it; for there were many other competitors.

I have mentioned the serjeant tailor and his wife as being the only persons present at my marriage, and they were my husband’s particular acquaintance; the men, having been in the same regiment, were more like brothers than anything else. I sustained a heavy loss in her death, which took place when I had been about four years married. In due time he married again to an elderly woman who had some inward complaint, of which she died in two years an a half. After a time he married again to a middle-aged woman, and she fell into ill health some time before my husband died, and in a few months after he became a widower again. In his second wife’s time, we had been neighbourly, but not so intimate as before; and in the third wife’s time some differences had arisen between the two friends, through my husband wishing to recommend him a wife that he did not approve of. But this did not extend to me, and I had remained on good terms with them both. After her death he was very uncomfortably situated; the persons about him were of intemperate habits, and he did not go out to get what would hurt him, but he had not resolution to withstand it when brought to him, and his health became much impaired. He proposed marriage to me, as he said he knew I should do my duty by him, and he could assist me in rearing his old comrade’s children. I thought this was true, and that it would be a mutual benefit; and we were married at St. Margaret’s, Westminster, on the 15th of June, 1830, after being a widow fifteen months. Directly after, I was informed that I must not bring any of my children into Fairy Land. This seemed very hard, for I did not wish to bring more than two. My eldest boy was in the country, my second was at the school, the baby had died in teething, and Victoria and a boy of five years old were all I wished to live with me. As my husband was near seventy years of age, and ailing, I wished to trouble him as little as possible with them; but finding such harsh orders had been given, I placed the boy to nurse, and Victoria went to school, and came to me only for her meals; but this was thought too much indulgence, and the gate porter had orders not to let her in, or if she came in to her mother he was to follow her and turn her out, on account of her having brought in five or six little halfpenny paper kites at the request of the boys; at the same time there was scarcely a person in the place but what had done the same, and indeed some people had sold them to the children. My feelings on the occasion may be better imagined than described. I had, for the sake of my children, entered what might almost be termed a sepulchre; for I had seen three women, all of whom I knew well, carried dead out of it; and it was hard indeed either to be parted from my children, or my husband to give up his situation. From what I heard I felt convinced that it was brought about in some measure by some persons who wished to get hold of his berth; for he had said to some one after the death of his wife, that he thought of going to the country: and as I was considered to be the cause of his staying, it was supposed that if I was vexed I should induce him to leave. But this sort of treatment to me produced exactly an opposite effect, and I determined to stand a siege.

My husband, who now got much better in health, used frequently to say, “I cannot stay here much longer; I am sure to be dismissed.” At last I asked him what he had done that he said so. “Oh,” said he, “it is not for what I have done, but what I have not done; for before we were married, and during the time I was in ill health, I sent in the usual return of work done, and there are many pieces of cloth in the shop that ought to be in the stores made up; and as soon as it is found out, I am sure to be dismissed.” This was a serious matter, for he had been there a long time, and provided he left in credit would be entitled to a superannuation allowance, which of course he would forfeit if he was dismissed for a fault. I told him, if he would allow me to come into the shop in the working hours, I would not only work myself, but get some of the best working boys round me, and if we had but time could work it up. He shook his head, and said he thought we should never be able to do it; at the same time he seemed pleased with the project, and I commenced operations. It happened very fortunately that the number of children was being reduced rapidly, which was much in our favour, as the demand for clothing was proportionably less; and in about a year he had all his numbers right. In the meantime my Victoria, who was always a very good girl, said that she knew I was at a great expense, for I had placed her to board with very respectable persons, and if I would get her a place she would go to service. This I soon did; for I was as badly off as ever as regarded my family; for if a child of mine was seen inside the gates, either the quarter-master or his serjeant, or may be a pioneer, came with positive orders that it must instantly be sent away. This went on for some time, when a little change for the better took place; and I received a hint from one of the officers’ ladies that I might venture to take my little boy home, which I was glad to avail myself of; and we went on pretty well for some time. We always knew that there were three or four candidates on the spot, looking out for my husband’s place; but that did not trouble us much. The reduction of the children from 1000 boys to about 300, which was to be the complement (and it took some years to do it), at last came, and the journeyman was discharged.

By this time my husband had as nearly as possible lost the use of his right arm, to outward appearance by rheumatism; but the fact was, the sinews had given way from cutting through a great many folds of cloth together, with very large shears, for many succeeding years; and he could cut no longer, and his returns of work sunk to a mere nothing. One Tuesday the quarter-master came up to the shop to know the reason so little work was done, and being informed, he went away, and returned, saying, the officer in command said he must give up, and get a letter written to lay before the commissioners, for something to be done for him. After he was gone, my husband said he supposed we should have time allowed, as in cases of the kind was customary; sometimes a quarter or six weeks. But on the Thursday, two days after the first notice, the same person came again, and said that a new serjeant tailor had been written to, and was coming in on the Monday following, being a notice of six days after a service of twenty-one years and four months. This threw me into a sad dilemma; for a year before I had purchased the lease of a house in an adjoining street, and knowing from my husband’s increasing infirmities that we could not remain long there, instead of letting it to a tenant who would have required a long notice to quit, I let it in floors to weekly lodgers; but a week’s notice I must give them, and we had but six days. And I was obliged, much against my will, to beg for a week longer, to prevent my having to remove twice on my husband’s account; for he was very ill at the time, and his abrupt dismissal had made him much worse, and deprived him of the power of all exertion. However, before the week I had interceded for was out, we left Fairy Land altogether, I having been there the last time about five years and as many months; and had I but known what I should have had to endure in that time, I would have gone miles off before I entered it. I have good reason for supposing that a good deal of the disagreeables, to say the least of it, that I met with, was from a person who for some years held a place a little in rank above my husband, and who was on terms of intimacy with my first husband. A little time before my second marriage, this man was promoted to a very lucrative situation, and likewise one of a good deal of authority, particularly over the trade shops. He borrowed some money of me for a certain time, and when that was up I made free to ask him for it; he paid me then, and a short time after asked me to lend him a much larger sum; I hesitated, he said I did not seem willing to oblige him. I observed, that I did not wish to disturb my property; as, by so doing, I should lose my interest. He said, “Oh, never mind;” and became from that moment my most inveterate enemy. My husband was likewise very much to blame, as he put up with all sorts of annoyances without complaining, as he might have done, to the proper authorities; and I used to tell him that if we knew in what manner all our actions were misrepresented, we might only be surprised that it was not worse. The letter which contained an application for a superannuation allowance was sent in, previous to which my husband had been examined, and a certificate signed by the doctor to the effect that he was past labour; and as we thought, everything was in a proper train as usual in such cases, and in all public offices. But some months passed away, and several boards and committees had been held, but we got no account of anything having been done for him. During the time, Victoria left a situation, and came home, where she had not been long when the wife of the commanding officer of Fairy Land came to the house and asked her to come and live with her as parlour maid. This did not look as if any of us had done anything that could weaken his claim. But still time rolled on, and we ventured to inquire by letter if anything had been settled on my husband’s account. In a short time I received the following document:——

“Extract from the minutes of a Committee of Commissioners for managing the affairs of Fairy Land, held on the 2nd of April, 1836.

“Read the memorial of the Sergeant and Master Tailor of this Institution, praying the Commissioners to recommend him for a small pension. He is an out-pensioner of Chelsea Hospital, at one shilling and a penny per day.

“Resolved, that the Commissioners have no authority to increase the pension of the Sergeant Tailor, which appears to be one shilling and a penny.” (A true Extract.)

I was quite thunderstruck at this wind up of affairs; for the consequences bid fair to be most serious to me: my husband, who was now seventy-six years old, was quite unable to do anything beyond dressing and undressing himself; and my hands were in a manner tied; for I could not leave him long together; and I saw no other prospect than that of my own remnant of property being melted away, together with his own, in sustaining us, if it should please God to spare his life long: and I might be left at an advanced age to encounter the poverty I had always endeavoured to avert. Another thing, he seemed to be so completely and inwardly hurt, that he was quite melancholy. Victoria had left Fairy Land, but it was with the daughter-in-law of her late mistress she had gone; so that she still remained in the family.

Several persons, who were good scholars and understood such things, and knew us, came and offered their services to us in the way of writing to some of the higher powers; but my husband would not consent, neither did I persuade him to do so, for the following reason: In 1812, or thereabouts, a plan was in agitation to take away the military pensions from the men employed in Fairy Land, during the time they were there; but as their duties were at that time all very arduous, they objected to it; and all the most efficient sergeants said they would resign. As this would not have answered, it was settled that they should still receive it, but that, on entering the Institution, the man’s first quarter’s military pension should be stopped when due, and detained till he left the Institution.

The military out-pensioners are all paid in advance, through the medium of Chelsea Hospital, be in what part of the country they may; but by this arrangement, instead of being paid in advance, it was paid with their Fairy Land wages at the quarter’s end, instead of at the beginning. And when a man left the Institution, he went to Chelsea College, received the quarter’s pension, and was placed on the same footing as before.

In January, 1821, a sergeant, named Delahide, died; and he having been discharged as sergeant of dragoons, had a pension which amounted to eight pounds a quarter. As he would have received the detained quarter if he had left the place alive, his widow naturally expected it would be paid to her in full; instead of which, she only received for the time he lived after the 24th of December, at which time the quarterly payments were then made, leaving about seven pounds odd justly due to her; to get which, she made many applications in various directions; but all without success.

This affair caused a great deal of remark amongst the people, as they were all equally interested in it: and my first husband desired me, in the event of his dying there, which he thought very likely to happen, to try to get what might remain due to him, by every means in my power, unless his death should take place at the end of a quarter, when, for a week or two, as I should be paid to the day he died, it would not be worth while for me to trouble myself. His death took place on the 31st of March, 1829, and he had been paid on the 24th of that month; and I was paid one week’s salary of Fairy Land, and one week of his detained quarter’s military pension, leaving about four pounds due to him, and consequently to me.

I first applied to the authorities at Chelsea College; but there I was informed they had nothing to do with it. I then applied to the heads of the different offices at the Horse Guards, and the petitions and letters I sent were always referred to the Commissioners of Fairy Land; and the answer I got from these used to be, that “although my husband would have got it had he been living, as it was the custom for military pensions to be paid in advance, there was nothing due.” Now, that was the point; for if I had no right to the whole quarter, I had no right to the one week which was paid: and that, of course, made me sure I ought to have the other twelve weeks’ pay. I then wrote to the Commander-in-Chief; and a kinder man than Lord Hill, or one more inclined to cause strict justice to be done to every one, never existed; but it no doubt never reached him, so back it came, according to custom; and I was informed that the Commissioners of Fairy Land had decided on the matter before.

All this had taken place during my widowhood, and it had given me some experience in applications to “commissioners,” “heads of public offices,” and so forth.

My husband’s reason for declining the offers made him about writing was obvious enough: he was afraid that if he took means to get what he was entitled to and had not, he might, perhaps, lose the one shilling and a penny a day, which he had. Many persons in authority, who, from private prejudice, impede and hinder those immediately under them, go on and prosper for a long time, till they meet with somebody who has nothing to lose by it. I weighed all these things carefully in my thoughts, and when we left Fairy Land a year, I formed a plan which I soon put into execution, as follows:——

I went to the house of an old acquaintance, and asked her permission to let me write a letter there, as I could not do it at home without my husband’s knowing it; and I did not want to implicate him, in the event of my being blamed. I then wrote a petition to Her Most Gracious Majesty Queen Adelaide, stating all the circumstances of the case, and humbly begging that she would cause an inquiry to be made why my husband was made an exception to a general rule.

It so happened that their Majesties had visited Fairy Land about a month before we left; therefore she must have seen, as the clothing was all new, that he had done his duty. I had waited for the Court going to Brighton, as I thought it would stand a better chance of reaching her there than in town, as she might not be so taken up with visitors. After I had put it in the post, I would have given anything to have got it back again, I felt so frightened; but as that would have been no easy matter, considering whom it was directed to, I did not try, and I was very uneasy for some days; but as nothing transpired, I began to think but little of it. A fortnight passed away, when one morning I was called to the door, as some one wanted to speak to me; it was a person sent by a gentleman, an officer of Chelsea College, likewise holding a situation in Her Majesty’s household, to make inquiries respecting the truth of the statements made in my petition, which, happily for me, had reached her. When he was gone, my husband inquired what his business was, and I ventured to tell him: he was very much surprised, but he could not well be angry. In about an hour after, I said I thought it would be better for me to go and speak to the gentleman, and I could give him any further explanation he might require. I went, and he questioned me very particularly on the subject in all its bearings; and, before I left, I requested that if any charge of misconduct of any kind was made against myself or my husband, he would have the goodness to let me know; but nothing of the kind was done, and I could only set it down to some offence given by myself, in trying to get what was left due of my first husband’s pension; for very soon after I had given the matter up, the Sergeants of the Institution were all paid their stopped-quarter’s pension; and the widows of those who had died ought to have had what was due to their husbands. There were not above three or four of these isolated cases—Mrs. Delahide’s case and my own being the two worst; and I am sure, to this minute, that neither Government nor Commander-in-Chief ever contemplated or sanctioned any such thing.

In about three months after the petition had reached her whom I may well call “Most Gracious Majesty,” we were sent to by the gentleman before mentioned, and informed that my husband was to receive his superannuation allowance of half his full subsistence in Fairy Land, being £37 7s. per annum; and he had likewise to endeavour to get his back pay, as, in the event of my husband’s dying shortly, what had been granted would be of little use. He succeeded; and it was above a year and a quarter, and it was obliged to be paid from the funds of Fairy Land. It was very fortunate for us that I applied as I did, for in the following June, it pleased God to call away King William, of blessed memory.

My husband’s mind was now healed and relieved of the weight which undeserved ill-treatment had bent to the earth; and he lived six years and a half after leaving Fairy Land, till he was nearly eighty-two years of age. And I think the many struggles I have met with in my journey through life, may be likened to some lines I saw in a newspaper, of which the following is a copy:——

“A beacon that, perhaps, another,

Sailing on life’s stormy main—

A forlorn and shipwreck’d brother—

Seeing, may take heart again.

“Let us, then, be up and doing,

With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving—still pursuing,

Learn to labour and to wait.”

CITY STEAM PRESS, LONG LANE: D. A. DOUDNEY.

Transcriber’s Notes: A small number of obvious typographical errors in the original have been corrected where leaving them unaltered would likely be an unwelcome distraction for the reader. These were:

“a a hearty” has been corrected to “a hearty”.

“wages wages” has been corrected to “wages”.

“shonld” has been corrected to “should”.

“avery” has been corrected to “a very”.

“Alderma nGoodbehere’s” has been corrected to “Alderman Goodbehere’s”.

“ave” has been corrected to “have”.

“llfe” has been corrected to “life”.

“him o n” has been corrected to “him on”.

“oftime” has been corrected to “of time”.

“wewere” has been corrected to “we were”.

September 2026