Note 20 — Chapter I · JOURNEY FROM DARJILING TO TASHILHUNPO.
Reading edition
When the marriage ceremony is over, the bride, released from her captor’s hands for the first time, returns to her parents, who are supposed to have been in ignorance of the previous proceedings. Two or three days after her return comes a go-between, or parmi,20 to settle differences with the bride’s parents. He brings, as a rule, three things—a bottle of arrack, the carcass of a pig, and a silver coin, as presents to the bride’s parents. Just as he is about to make them the presents, they are bound to fly into a passion and threaten to beat him, whereupon he entreats them not to do so, and tries to pacify them with the present of another rupee. Then they ask him in an angry tone, “Why did you steal away our daughter?” and such-like questions. When their anger has subsided, he pays the price of the bride, which, according to the wealth of the groom, varies from Rs. 10 to Rs. 120, or the equivalent; but in all cases a pig is an indispensable part of the price. Then a further present of usually Rs. 12, or its equivalent, is made to the soffas (subahs) and village headmen.