John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Vol. 2 (of 3)

Front matter

Reading edition

* * * * *

"From the Collection of Mr. PUNCH." * * * * * LONDON: BRADBURY, AGNEW, & CO., 8, 9, 10, BOUVERIE STREET, E.C. 1887.

CAUTION DURING THE MISTLETOE SEASON. Pretty Cousin. "WHAT A TIRESOME GREAT AWKWARD BOY YOU ARE!—JUST SEE HOW YOU HAVE SCRATCHED MY CHIN!"

[Young Gentleman apologises amply.

NONE BUT THE BRAVE DESERVE THE FAIR. Augustus. "NOW, I'VE GOT YOU!"

OBVIOUS.

Old Party from the Country (with much wheezing and embarrassment). "I—I—WANT TO GO TO—TO—TO——"

Conductor (with alacrity). "ALL RIGHT, OLD BOY! JUMP IN! I KNOW—CATTLE SHOW!"

A PIG PEN AT A CATTLE SHOW. Harriet. "THEN, I SUPPOSE, PAPA DEAR, THAT THESE ARE LEARNED PIGS, AS THEY HAVE ALL GOT GOLD MEDALS?"

A PLEASANT HOLIDAY TASK. Mr. Punch. "NOW, BOYS AND GIRLS! YOU MUST FIND OUT THE USE OF THESE GLOBES BEFORE YOU GO BACK TO SCHOOL!"

COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON. Reynard the Fox. "HERE'S AN OLD-FASHIONED CHRISTMAS, MY BOYS, FOR YOU, AND MANY OF 'EM."

THE SNOW. "NOW, YOU BOYS HAD BETTER BE QUIET, OR I SHALL CALL THE POLICE, AS SURE AS YOU'RE BORN."

JUVENILE ETYMOLOGY. Master Jack. "MAMMA, DEAR! NOW ISN'T THIS CALLED KISSMAS TIME, BECAUSE EVERYBODY KISSES EVERYBODY UNDER THE MISTLETOE? ADA SAYS IT ISN'T."

MISS AND MISTLETOE. Miss Gushington. "OH, DON'T YOU LIKE CHRISTMAS TIME, MR. BROWN, AND ALL ITS DEAR OLD CUSTOMS?"

[BROWN don't seem to see it.

CHRISTMAS EVE. Ellen (who is so simple). "NOW, PRAY TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, FRANK! WHAT IS IT THESE DREADFUL GAROTTERS CALL 'GIVING ONE THE HUG?'"

[FRANK shows her presently.

UNDER THE MISTLETOE.

A FAMILY GROUP—BABY STIRRING THE PUDDING.

"A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!" A JUVENILE PARTY.

GOOD CHEER. RICH OLD LADY IS OVERWHELMED WITH BARRELLED OYSTERS FROM DISTANT RELATIVES.

ROOTI-TOOIT—I'VE GOT CHER!

A JOLLY OLD PATERFAMILIAS, WITH SOME AIR-BALLOONS FOR THE CHICKS.

A CHRISTMAS PARTY.—GRANDPAPA DANCES "SIR ROGER"—AND MAY HE DANCE IT FOR MANY, MANY YEARS TO COME.

VOLUNTEER MOVEMENT.

THAT DISTINGUISHED RIFLE-SHOT, MR. PUNCH, HAVING DONE HIS DUTY LIKE A MAN, THROWS HIMSELF UNDER THE MISTLETOE, AND RECEIVES HIS JUST REWARD.

BROWN ENTERTAINS HIS FRIENDS WI' A HAGGIS!

A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

OF A VERY STUDIOUS TURN.

Mamma. "WHO IS THIS HAMPER FOR?—WHY, FOR POOR JERRY, WHO IS AT SCHOOL, YOU KNOW."

Darling (reflectively). "OH!—DON'T YOU THINK, MA, I HAD BETTER GO TO SCHOOL?"

WHOLESOME FEAST.

Jessie. "AND SO, WALTER, YOU HAVE LITTLE PARTIES AT YOUR SCHOOL, EH?"

Walter. "AH! DON'T WE, JUST!—LAST HALF THERE WAS CHARLEY BOGLE, AND GEORGE TWISTER AND ME—WE JOINED YOU KNOW—AND HAD TWO POUNDS OF SAUSAGES, COLD, AND A PLUM CAKE, AND A BARREL OF OYSTERS, AND TWO BOTTLES OF CURRANT WINE!—OH, MY EYE! WASN'T IT JOLLY, NEITHER!"

QUITE A NICE PARTY.

Georgina. "WELL, GUS! AND HOW DID YOU LIKE YOUR PARTY LAST NIGHT?"

Gus. "OH, JOLLY—I GOT ELEVEN ICES, AND NO END OF NEGUS, AND WENT DOWN FOUR TIMES TO SUPPER!!"

LITTLE MEN.

"BEEN TO THE PLAY MUCH THESE HOLIDAYS, FRED?"

"AW—I WENT THE OTHER NIGHT. BUT, AW—I DON'T KNOW—SOMEHOW, PANTOMIMES ARE NOT WHAT THEY USED TO BE IN MY TIME; AND AS FOR THE GURLS, THERE WASN'T A GOOD-LOOKING ONE IN THE HOUSE."

HOME ENJOYMENTS.

A DISCREET (!) FRIEND HAVING PRESENTED MASTER TOM WITH A TOOL-BOX AS A NEW YEAR'S GIFT—THE FURNITURE IS PUT INTO THOROUGH REPAIR

HOME AMUSEMENTS. GRAND PEACE DEMONSTRATION IN OUR NURSERY!

AMATEUR PANTOMIME.

A HAPPY NOTION.

Delightful Boy. "OH! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO! I'LL GO AND PLAY MY DRUM AT UNCLE FOOZLE'S DOOR!"

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

Arthur (on Pony). "HOLLO! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT ON YOUR HEADS?"

Juvenile Swell. "WHY, YOU SEE, EVERY SNOB WEARS A CAP OR A WIDE-AWAKE NOW! SO THE MEN OF OUR SCHOOL HAVE RETURNED TO THE OLD CHIMNEY-POT!"

[As Paterfamilias, we are sorry to say that we have observed this monstrosity many times this Christmas.

IN SOCIETY.

Small Boy. "GOING TO THE PANTOMIME, CLARA, THIS AFTERNOON?"

Clara. "A—NO—I'M AT HOME—AND HAVE A KETTLEDRUM AT THREE O'CLOCK!"

PATRONISING.

"PRETTY SIGHT, AIN'T IT, CHARLEY, TO SEE THE YOUNGSTERS ENJOYING THEMSELVES?"

PRIVATE THEATRICALS.

THE JOLLY GAME OF SNOWBALLING, AS PLAYED IN OUR SQUARE.

THE JUVENILE PARTY.—A GREAT LIBERTY. Juvenile. "MAMMA, DEAR! DO YOU KNOW THAT GENTLEMAN TICKLED ME WITHOUT BEING INTRODUCED!"

THE MORNING AFTER THE JUVENILE PARTY.

Papa. "WHY, TOM, I'M AFRAID YOU MUST HAVE EATEN TOO MUCH CAKE LAST NIGHT. YOU LOOK QUITE SEEDY THIS MORNING!"

Little Sister. "OH, NO, PAPA DEAR, IT CAN'T BE THAT. HE EAT THE THINGS OUT OF THE CRACKERS, BUT HE DIDN'T TOUCH THE SEED CAKE!"

AN ENVIOUS YOUTH.

Sensitive Young Lady. "POOR CREATURES! NOTHING BUT EATING AND SLEEPING! WHAT A DREADFUL EXISTENCE!"

Stout Youth. "DREADFUL EXISTENCE!—OH, AH! I DARE SAY. WHY, THAT'S JUST THE VERY THING OF ALL OTHERS I SHOULD LIKE THE BEST!"

THROWING STONES THROUGH ICE.

A DELIGHTFUL RECREATION FOR YOUTH, WHICH COMBINES HEALTHFUL EXERCISE WITH THE LUXURY OF WINDOW-BREAKING, WITHOUT DANGER OR EXPENSE.

URGENT.

Street Boy. "I SAY, COOKY? THEY JUST ARE A-FININ' OF 'EM ALL ROUND THE SKVARE—GIVE US A SHILLIN' AND I'LL SWEEP YOUR DOOR AFORE THE PLEECEMAN COMES."

Man under mistletoe surrounded by women.

THE MISTLETOE BOUGH.—IN LEAP YEAR, THE LADIES TAKE THE INITIATIVE.

THE CHAMPION.

THE WEATHER IN THE PARKS. Skate Proprietor. "Now Marm! 'Ave A Pair On?"

NEW CHRISTMAS GAME FOR FOXHUNTERS DURING A LONG FROST.

Mr. P watches two young ladies pulling a cracker.

THE CRACKER BON-BON.

Two little Stoopids (with one voice). "I KNOW I SHALL SCREAM—I'M SURE I SHALL!"

A MAN OF SOME CONSEQUENCE.

Elder Sister. "WHY, GEORGE NOT DRESSED! PRAY ARE YOU NOT GOING WITH THE OTHER CHILDREN?"

George. "H'M! I SHOULD RATHER FANCY NOT.—YOU DON'T CATCH ME GOING OUT OF AN EVENING JUST TO FURNISH PEOPLE'S ROOMS. WHERE I GO—I DINE!"

THE WEATHER AND THE STREETS.

Boy of the Period. "GO IT TOMMY! THERE'S NO PERLICE, AND THE OLD GENT'S AFRAID TO COME OUT!"

PATERFAMILIAS SUPERINTENDS IN PERSON THE REMOVAL OF THE SNOW FROM THE ROOF OF HIS HOUSE.—

PLEASING EFFECT BELOW.

WHAT A TERRIBLE TURK!

"OH! HERE'S A JOLLY SNOWBALL. LET'S TAKE and PUT IT AGIN SOMEBODY'S DOOR!"

Man tlking to another who has fallen through ice.

PUTTING A GOOD FACE ON IT.

OF ALL FOOLISH THINGS, THE MERE PUN IS PERHAPS THE MOST FOOLISH.—NOW, HERE'S A FELLOW (PROBABLY A MEMBER OF THE ST—CK EXCH—GE) WHO, IN SPITE OF HIS REALLY PERILOUS CONDITION, SAYS, "THAT HE CAME OUT FOR A (W)HOLE HOLIDAY—AND HAS GOT IT!"

FLUNKEIANA RUSTICA.

Mistress. "NOW, I DO HOPE, SAMUEL, YOU WILL MAKE YOURSELF TIDY, GET YOUR CLOTHES LAID IN TIME—AND TAKE GREAT PAINS WITH YOUR WAITING AT TABLE!"

Samuel (who has come recently out of a Strawyard). "YEZ, M'! BUT PLEAZ M', BE OI TO WEAR MY BREECHES?"

IMPUDENCE. "NOW, LOBSTER! KEEP THE POT A-BILING!"

THE FESTIVE SEASON.

Amy (to Rose). "GOOD GRACIOUS, ROSE—I'M AFRAID, FROM THE WAY THE MAN TALKS, THAT HE IS INTOXICATED!"

Cabby (impressively). "BEG PARD'N, MISS!—N-N-NOT (HIC)—INTOSSI-TOSSI-CATED (HIC)—ITSH ONLY SHLIGHT 'PED-PED-PEDIMENT IN SPEESH, MISS!"

THE NOSE-COMFORTER. Sensible Man (who despises conventionality). "HAH! THE WORLD MAY SMILE, BUT IT'S VERY WARM AND COMFORTABLE."

DELIGHTFUL PRIVILEGE DURING THE WINTER MONTHS. YOU MAY BATHE IN THE SERPENTINE FROM 6 UNTIL 7 IN THE MORNING, AND 7 UNTIL 8 IN THE EVENING.

ARTIFICIAL ICE—GRAND PAS DES PATINEURS.

HOW DISAGREEABLE THE BOYS ARE. Boy. "MY EYE, TOMMY! THERE'S THE HELEPHANT FROM THE S'LOGICAL GARDENS GOING A-SKATING!"

HOW TROUBLESOME THE BOYS ARE.

Juvenile. "I SAY, HARRIET—DO US A FAVOUR?"

Pretty Cousin. "WELL, WHAT IS IT?"

Juvenile. "GIVE US A LOCK OF YOUR HAIR TO TAKE BACK TO SCHOOL."

WINTER IN THE SUBURBS. OUR DEAR OLD PATERFAMILIAS TAKES HIS OFFSPRING TO SEE THE PANTOMIME. UNFORTUNATELY, "THE ROADS" (AS THE CABMAN SAYS) "IS SO ORRIBUL BAD AND SLIPPY," THAT HE IS OBLIGED TO WALK WITH HIS DARLINGS THE GREATER PART OF THE WAY HOME.

THE FOG IS SO VERY THICK THAT FREDERICK AND CHARLES ARE OBLIGED TO SEE CLARA AND EMILY HOME.

THE JUVENILE PARTY.

Paterfamilias (to Youth who goes with his Pony well across country). "HOLLO! HUGH, MY BOY! DON'T YOU LIKE DANCING?"

Youth. "A—NO! I DON'T SEEM TO CARE FOR BALLS—FEW HUNTING MEN DO!!!"

COLD WEATHER.

Omnibus Driver. "BILL! JIST BREAK THIS 'ERE ICICLE ORF MY NOSE WITH YER WHIP, THAT'S A GOOD FELLER! IT TAKES BOTH MY HANDS TO KEEP THESE 'OSSES ON THEIR LEGS."

Youths watching lady dancing with small boy.

A VERY GREEN-EYED MONSTER!

First Juvenile. "I WONDER WHAT CAN MAKE HELEN HOLDFAST POLK WITH YOUNG ALBERT GRIG?"

Second Ditto. "DON'T YOU KNOW? WHY, TO MAKE ME JEALOUS! BUT SHE HAD BETTER NOT GO TOO FAR!"

WHAT A SHAME!

Grandpapa. "HEYDAY! WHAT MAKES MY LITTLE DARLING SO CROSS?"

Little Darling. "WHY, GRANDPA, MAMMA WANTS ME TO GO TO A PANTOMIME IN THE DAY-TIME, AS IF I WAS A MERE CHILD!"

Two youths in evening dress seated in a carriage.

THE NEW STYLE. HOW YOUNG GENTLEMEN FROM SCHOOL GO TO SEE A PANTOMIME NOW-A-DAYS.

UNDIGNIFIED REMINDER. Boy. "I SAY, JOHN, AIN'T YOUR MASTER A LOOKIN' FOR YOU, NEETHER!"

FAIR AND EQUAL.

Sister. "NOT GIVE A BALL, CHARLES! FIDDLE! WHY NOT? I TELL YOU WHAT,—IF YOU WILL FIND THE ROOM, AND THE MUSIC, AND THE SUPPER, AND THE CHAMPAGNE, AND THE ICES,—I'LL FIND THE LADIES! COME NOW!"

FROZEN-OUT FOXHUNTERS.

ODIOUS TYRANNY.

PATERFAMILIAS INSISTS THAT THE GIRLS SHALL WEAR VERY STOUT BOOTS IN THE WET WEATHER; BUT THE GIRLS DON'T AT ALL LIKE "THE NASTY, GREAT, UGLY, CLUMSY, THICK THINGS!"

SERIOUS ACCIDENT DURING THE FROST.

AS MAJOR—AND CAPTAIN—OF THE 13TH LIGHT POLKERS WERE SKATING WITH THE LOVELY AND ACCOMPLISHED EMILY D—— AND HARRIET V——, THEIR FEELINGS SUDDENLY GAVE WAY; THEY BROKE THE ICE, AND WE HEAR THEY HAVE NOT YET BEEN EXTRICATED FROM THEIR PERILOUS SITUATION.

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.

Paterfamilias. "WELL, BOYS! I DARE SAY YOU'RE GLAD TO GET HOME; AND HOW DO YOU AND THE DOCTOR AGREE!"

Harry. "OH! WE LIKE HIM VERY MUCH."

Paterfamilias. "HAH! AND DO YOU THINK YOU ARE MAKING GOOD PROGRESS?"

Harry. "OH! PRETTY GOOD! I CAN LICK THREE FELLOWS! BUT FRED, HERE, CAN LICK SIX, COUNTING ME!"

A BON-BON FROM A JUVENILE PARTY.

First Juvenile. "THAT'S A PRETTY GIRL TALKING TO YOUNG ALGERNON BINKS!"

Second Juvenile. "HM—TOL-LOL! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER SOME SEASONS AGO!"

Boy speaking to man who has fallen due to icy path.

TOO BAD.

Rude Boy. "AH! HERE'S THE P'LEECE A-COMIN'; WON'T YOU CATCH IT FOR SLIDING ON THE PAVEMENT!"

OLD MR. JONES AS HE APPEARED WHEN ASKED FOR THE TWENTIETH TIME IF HE WOULD HAVE HIS DOOR DONE.

THE THEATRE OF WAR. A PRIVATE BOX FOR ENGLAND'S DEAR BOYS ON FOREIGN SERVICE.

A KINDLY OFFER.

Skate Proprietor (to Spectator with wooden leg). "'AVE A PAIR ON, SIR!—AX YER PARDIN, SIR—DIDN'T TWIG YER MISFORTIN. I'VE A HODD 'UN YOU CAN 'AVE, SIR!"

DISTRESSING RESULT OF EATING TURKEY DAY AFTER DAY. THE POOR OLD PARTY HAS COME OUT ALL OVER FEATHERS.

GLORIOUS NEWS FOR THE BOYS.

Billy Wilkins. "HI! LOOK HERE! COME! SUCH A LARK! HERE'S A PERLICEMAN FELL ON A SLIDE!"

THE THAW AND THE STREETS!

TOMKINS, WHO HAS JUST PAID HIS RATE FOR PAVING, CLEANSING, &C., GOES FOR A WALK IN HIS IMMEDIATE NEIGHBOURHOOD. HE IS, OF COURSE, MUCH GRATIFIED AT THE WAY IN WHICH THE CLEANSING PART OF THE BUSINESS IS MANAGED.

DELICIOUS.

Party in Bed. "HEY! HOLLO! WHO'S THAT?"

Domestic. "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, IT'S SEVEN O'CLOCK, SIR! YOUR SHOWER-BATH IS QUITE READY. I'VE JUST BROKEN THE ICE, SIR!"

SYMPTOMS OF MASQUERADING.

Better-Half (loq.). "IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL SITTING UP WITH A SICK FRIEND, MR. WILKINS?"

THE NURSERY FOUR-IN-HAND CLUB.—THE FIRST MEET OF THE SEASON.

Master Robert (loq.). "HERE, JAMES, JUST STAND BY THAT BAY FILLY.—SHE'S RATHER FRESH THIS MORNING!"

THE OPERA.

Door-Keeper. "BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR—BUT YOU MUST, INDEED, SIR, BE IN FULL DRESS!"

Snob (excited). "FULL DRESS!! WHY, WHAT DO YER CALL THIS?"

Children suffering the effects of overeating.

THE DAY AFTER THE JUVENILE PARTY.—AWFUL APPEARANCE OF THE DOCTOR.

INNOCENT MIRTH—THE SLIDE ON THE PAVEMENT.

DELIGHTFUL. "OH! HERE'S A JOLLY SLEDGE!"

HAVING A PAIR ON!

Skater. "HI!—HOLLO!—WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT?—IT'S GOING INTO MY FOOT!"

Skate Proprietor. "NEVER MIND, SIR!—BETTER 'AV 'EM ON FIRM!"

A GOOD OLD COMIC CLOWN.

STAGE FRIGHT. "OH, JOEY! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

A DECEIVER. "IT'S QUITE TRUE, MUM!"

SAME OLD GAME.

AN OLD JOE. Clown (loq.). "PRETTY CREECHUR!"

Large group of children watching Punch and Judy.

DRESS CIRCLE AT PUNCH AND JUDY.

EAGER APPLICANTS. "WANT YOUR DOOR DONE, MUM?"

RETURN FROM A SUBURBAN PARTY.

Flyman. "WERRY SORRY, MUM, I'M SURE, MUM—BUT THE OSS AIN'T ROUGHED, AND HE CAN'T GO A STEP FURDER!"

MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF FISHING.

No. X.

MR. B. AS HE APPEARED FROM SIX IN THE MORNING UNTIL THREE IN THE

AFTERNOON, WHEN——

No. XI.

HAVING HOOKED A "FISH," HE IS LANDED TO PLAY IT. THE FISH RUNS AWAY WITH HIM—AND MR. B. IS DRAGGED ABOUT A MILE AND A HALF OVER WHAT HE CONSIDERS A RATHER DIFFICULT COUNTRY.

No. XII.

ON ARRIVING AT "HELL'S HOLE," HE IS DETAINED FOR THREE-QUARTERS OF AN HOUR, WHILE THE FISH SULKS AT THE BOTTOM.——

No. XIII.

THE FISH HAVING REFRESHED HIMSELF, AND RECOVERED HIS SPIRITS, BOLTS AGAIN WITH MR. B.

No. XIV.

AFTER A LONG AND EXCITING STRUGGLE, MR. B. IS ON THE POINT OF LANDING HIS PRIZE WHEN—THE LINE UNFORTUNATELY BREAKS!

No. XV.

HOWEVER, IN MUCH LESS TIME THAN IT HAS TAKEN TO MAKE THIS IMPERFECT SKETCH—ACCOUTRED AS HE IS—HE PLUNGES IN—AND AFTER A DESPERATE ENCOUNTER, HE SECURES A MAGNIFICENT SALMON, FOR WHICH HE DECLARES HE WOULD NOT TAKE A GUINEA A POUND!—AND IT IS NOW STUFFED IN THE GLASS-CASE OVER THE ONE WHICH CONTAINS HIS LATE FAVOURITE SPOTTED HUNTER.

MODERATION.

First Undergraduate. "HOLLO, CHARLEY! AIN'T YOU GOING OUT TO-DAY?"

Second Undergraduate (driving). "WHY, NO—NOT THIS MORNING. YOU SEE I'M ONLY A ONE-HORSE MAN, AND AS I HAVE HUNTED HIM THREE TIMES THIS WEEK, I THOUGHT I'D GIVE HIM A DAY'S REST IN THE DOG-CART!"

JONES TRIES HIS NEW HACK, WHICH IS AS QUIET AS A LAMB—JUST ABOUT!

NO CONSEQUENCE.

"I SAY, JACK! WHO'S THAT COME TO GRIEF IN THE DITCH?"

"ONLY THE PARSON!"

"OH, LEAVE HIM THERE, THEN! HE WON'T BE WANTED UNTIL NEXT SUNDAY!"

Portly lady is offered a rickety stand to view the parade.

THE REVIEW.

"NOW, MARM, HERE'S A PLACE TO STAND ON. YER MAY SEE EVERY THINK; AND ONLY SIXPENCE!"

AN APRIL FOOL.

Equestrian. "HERE, BOY! COME AND HOLD MY HORSE."

Boy. "DOES HE KICK?"

Equestrian. "KICK! NO!"

Boy. "DOES HE BITE?"

Equestrian. "BITE! NO! CATCH HOLD OF HIM."

Boy. "DOES IT TAKE TWO TO HOLD HIM?"

Equestrian. "NO."

Boy. "THEN HOLD HIM YOURSELF."

[Exit BOY, performing "Pop goes the Weasel."

THE SEA-SIDE CIRCULATING LIBRARY.

"ALL THE NEW WORKS ARE OUT, MISS. BUT HERE'S THE SECOND VOLUME OF THE 'SCOTTISH CHIEFS'—OR HERE'S 'CAMPBELL'S PHILOSOPHY OF RHETORIC,' IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO READ THAT."

DREADFUL JOKE.

William. "THERE, AMY! WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THOSE FOR A PAIR OF MOUSTACHES?"

Amy. "WHY, I SHOULD SAY THAT CALLING THOSE MOUSTACHES WAS GIVING TO 'HAIRY NOTHINGS A LOCAL HABITATION AND A NAME.'"

[For shame, Amy!

GOOD NEWS! REAL SENTIMENT.

The Lady Emmeline. "NO, DEAREST CONSTANCE, I AM NOT UNHAPPY, THESE ARE TEARS OF JOY! FOR SEE HOW THE DEAR LORD AUBREY WRITES—(Reads an advertisement)—'I have much pleasure in giving my testimony to the skill of Professor Puffenburg, who has extracted two very troublesome corns without causing me any pain.—De Belgrave.' DEAR, DEAR AUBREY, THEN YOU ARE HAPPY!"

A CASE OF REAL DISTRESS.

Foxhunter. "HERE'S A BORE, JACK! THE GROUND IS HALF A FOOT THICK WITH SNOW, AND IT'S FREEZING LIKE MAD!"

BROAD CARICATURE.

RATHER ALARMING.

Lady. "YOU WISHED, SIR, I BELIEVE, TO SEE ME RESPECTING THE STATE OF MY DAUGHTER'S AFFECTIONS, WITH A VIEW TO A MATRIMONIAL ALLIANCE WITH THAT YOUNG LADY. IF YOU WILL WALK INTO THE LIBRARY, MY HUSBAND AND I WILL DISCUSS THE SUBJECT WITH YOU."

Young Corydon. "OH, GRACIOUS!!!"

GOOD SECURITY.

Boy. "PLEASE, SIR, GIVE ME A BROWN?"

Swell. "SIXPENCE IS THE SMALLEST MONEY I HAVE, MY LITTLE LAD."

Boy. "VEL, SIR, I'LL GET YER CHANGE; AND IF YER DOUBTS MY HONOUR, HOLD MY BROOM!"

UNCONSCIOUS SATIRE.

Stout Party. "WELL, I'M SURE! WHAT CAN POSSESS THOSE SKINNY CREATURES TO WEAR ROUND HATS, I CAN'T THINK,—MAKING THEMSELVES SO CONSPICUOUS!"

SCENE—PALAIS ROYAL.

Garçon (to London Gent). "VOILÀ! M'SIEU! LE CHARIVARI—FRENCH PUNCH. GOOD MORNING SARE! OH, I SPEAK INGLEES VERRA WELL—I LIVE IN INGLEES COPPLE TRREE MUNSE. OH YAS—ALL RIGHT! NEVARE MIND!!"

[Jumps over three chairs and vanishes to the great astonishment of TOMKINS.

POOR MUGGINS!

Smythe (to MUGGINS, who, in the heat of the moment, has been drinking his wine out of tumblers). "THERE, MY BOY! THAT'S SUCH A GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE AS YOU DON'T GET EVERY DAY—AND BETWEEN YOU AND ME (very confidentially) BETWEEN—YOU—AND ME—I ONLY GAVE FOUR AND TWENTY SHILLINGS A DOZEN FOR IT!"

[Exit MUGGINS for an antidote.

INCREDIBLE!

Mrs. Muggins. "WHAT! FOURTEEN ON YE SLEEP UNDER THAT GIG UMBRELLER OF A THING? GET ALONG WITH YER!"

VERY FRIENDLY.

Little Gent. "MORNIN' MY LORD!—GLAD TO SEE YOU OUT AGAIN!—WHAT I LIKE ABOUT FOX-'UNTING IS, THAT IT IMPROVES THE BREED OF 'ORSES—AND BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER AS WOULDN'T OTHERWISE MEET!"

THE ROAD.

Party in the Cart (to Tomkins, who is immensely proud of his Steed). "I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR, BUT YOU DON'T 'APPEN TO 'AV ANOTHER CAMEL AS YOU WANT TO DISPOSE OF?"

LATEST FROM PARIS.

Beautiful Being. "WELL, I MUST SAY, PARKER, THAT I LIKE THE HAIR DRESSED À L'IMPÉRATRICE. IT SHOWS SO MUCH OF THE FACE."

A MOMENTOUS DECISION.

Augustus. "ARE YOU FOND OF MOUSTARSHERS, EMILY?"

Emily. "YES! I THINK THEY LOOK VERY WELL UPON SOME PEOPLE."

Augustus. "AH! THEN THAT SETTLES THE POINT. I SHALL LET MINE GROW."

THE FINISHING TOUCH TO A PICTURE.

Artist. "NOW, DON'T HESITATE TO SAY IF YOU SEE ANYTHING I CAN ALTER OR IMPROVE."

Candid Friend. "HM! WELL! NO! I DON'T SEE ANYTHING—UNLESS, PERHAPS, YOU-A MIGHT REPAINT THE PRINCIPAL FIGURES, AND—I—YES—I SHOULD CERTAINLY GET A NEW BACKGROUND IN."

FINE HAUT-BOYS!

THIS JOLLY OLD PATER KNOWS WHAT A SMILING WELCOME AWAITS HIM WHEN HE BRINGS HIS TREASURES HOME.

JACK ASHORE.

Policeman. "HULLO, JACK! I SUPPOSE YOU'RE NOT SORRY TO COME ON LAND FOR A BIT?"

Jack (who hasn't got his shore legs yet). "WELL, IT AIN'T SUCH A BAD PLACE FOR A DAY OR TWO—ONLY IT'S SO PRECIOUS DIFFICULT TO WALK STRAIGHT!"

Splashed with mud and insulted by cart driver.

ADDING INSULT TO INJURY.

AFFECTING INCIDENT AT BOULOGNE.

OUR FRIEND, 'ARRY BELVILLE, IS SO KNOCKED ALL OF A HEAP BY THE BEAUTY OF THE FOREIGN FISH-GIRLS, THAT HE OFFERS HIS 'AND AND 'ART TO THE LOVELY PAULINE.

EXCITEMENT.

"RUN, BILL—RUN AND BRING HISABELLER—HERE'S A CHIMNEY A-FI-ER!!"

Man speaking to friend and maid is at the door with a bottle of port.

Man looking through window at hurdy-gurdy player.

AN UNWELCOME VISITOR. THE DISTURBER OF THE PEACE OF PRIVATE FAMILIES.

THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.

Foot Boy. "WELL, SIR, MASTER HIS AT 'OME, BUT HE'S CONFINED TO HIS ROOM. HE'S A GROWIN' OF HIS MOOSTARSHERS, AND AIN'T ALLOWED TO SEE NOBODY BUT HIS 'AIRDRESSER."

QUITE AN EXQUISITE.

Commercial Gent. "THIS WAR, SIR, WILL BE A TERRIBLE HINDRANCE TO ALL KINDS OF BUSINESS!"

Swell. "AW—DESSAY! D'LIGHTED TO HEAR IT—A ALWAYS HAD THE GWEATEST AVERSION T' ALL KINDS OF BUSINESS."

FLUNKEIANA.

Lady's-Maid. "WELL, I'M SURE, MR. ROBERT! I THINK YOU MIGHT FIND SOMETHING BETTER TO DO THAN LOLLOPING ABOUT IN THAT GREAT EASY CHAIR. YOU MIGHT GO AND HELP IN THE HAY-FIELD, ONE WOULD THINK!"

Flunkey. "OH, YES! AND A NICE FIGGER I SHOULD BE! WOT WOULD MISSUS SAY, PRAY, IF I WENT AND SPYLED MY COMPLEXION, AND MADE MY 'ANDS 'ARD?"

PRIVATE OPINION.

Lieutenant Whobble (who has just been embodied). "HAH! THIS IS SOMETHING LIKE! INFINITELY BETTER THAN THE RIDICULOUS OLD COATEE!!"

A PRETTY GENERAL DELUSION.

Mr. Kiddlums. "WELL, ELIZABETH—I HOPE WE SHALL HAVE A PRIZE BABY SHOW HERE—AND THEN—I FLATTER MYSELF—...."

Servant carrying bonnets for two ladies.

WHAT MUST BE THE NEXT FASHION IN BONNETS.

DOMESTIC BLISS.

Servant (rushing in). "OH! GRACIOUS GOODNESS, MASTER! THERE'S THE KITCHEN CHIMLEY A-FIRE—AND TWO PARISH INGINS KNOCKING AT THE STREET DOOR!"

GOING TO A PARTY.

Exquisite. "AW, DRIVAW—HAVE YOU A GOOD HORSE?"

Cabman. "YES, SIR! A WERRY GOOD OSS."

Exquisite. "AW! THEN DRA-IVE ME TO NEXT DOOR."

A MAN OF PRINCIPLE.

WHEN COALS ARE SO DEAR, IT BEHOVES EVERY FAMILY MAN TO SEE THAT HE GETS THE PROPER NUMBER OF SACKS FOR HIS MONEY. PATERFAMILIAS DOES HIS DUTY LIKE A MAN, ALTHOUGH THE COALS ARRIVE JUST AT HIS DINNER-TIME, AND THE WEATHER IS RATHER INCLEMENT.

IN THE RANKS.

First Militia-man. "JIM, YOU BAIN'T IN STEP."

Second Ditto. "BAIN'T I? WELL, CHANGE YOUR'N."

MORE LIGHT.

Irritated Swell. "RING? YES, OF COURSE I RUNG! HOW THE DEUCE DO YOU SUPPOSE I'M TO DO MY BACK HAIR WITH ONLY ONE CANDLE?"

FLY-FISHING.

MR. HACKLE ARRIVES AT HIS FAVOURITE SPOT, WHERE HE KNOWS THERE IS A GOOD TROUT.

WHAT A SHAME!

Young Lady (inclining to embonpoint). "I SHALL WANT HIM AGAIN THIS AFTERNOON—FROM TWO TO FOUR."

Lady wearing an exagerated tentlike hat,

EVERY LADY HER OWN BATHING-MACHINE, OR AN UGLY CONTRIVANCE MADE A USEFUL APPENDAGE.

SCENE—DRAWING-ROOM. Enter HORRID BOY.

Horrid Boy (capering about). "OH, LOOK HERE, CAPTAIN! I'VE FOUND OUT WHAT CLARA STUFFS HER HAIR OUT WITH. THEY'RE WHISKERS LIKE YOURS!"

[Sensation.

A LITTLE BIT OF SENTIMENT.

Lady offering to introduce a dance partner.

A VERY PARTICULAR PARTY.

Mr. ——. "OH, HERE YOU ARE AT LAST! NOW YOU MUST COME AND DANCE THIS WALTZ WITH A FRIEND OF MINE—CHARMING GIRL, I ASSURE YOU!"

Mr. —— (who prides himself upon his dancing). "HAW! THANK YOU—YOU'RE VERY GOOD!—BUT I NEVER WALTZ WITH STRANGE GIRLS. I DON'T MIND GIVING HER A QUADRILLE FIRST, JUST TO SEE HOW SHE MOVES!"

CAMP LIFE—A BIT OF SENTIMENT.

"WELL, FRANK! THIS DELIGHTFUL CAMP IS NEARLY OVER."

"HM, HAW! YA-AS! AND IF YOU'LL ALLOW ME, I'LL TAKE A LAST FOND LOOK, AND A—A—LEAN UPON MY WHAT D'YE CALL IT, AS THE SONG SAYS, AND A—WIPE AWAY A TE—AR!"

"WHO WOULDN'T BE A RIDING-MASTER?"

A FRIENDLY MOUNT.

Party (whose nerve is not what it used to be). "YOU ARE QUITE SURE, CHARLES, THAT HE'S TEMPERATE?"

Charles. "OH, YES! COME ALONG! DO YOU THINK I SHOULD LET YOU RIDE HIM IF HE WASN'T? WHY, YOU MIGHT KILL THE HORSE!"

[Nervous Party is much flattered by the consideration of Friend.

SOMETHING LIKE SPORT.

Jolly Angler. "HOORAY, TOM! I'VE GOT ONE—AND, MY WORD! DIDN'T HE PULL!"

SLANG.

"MY EYE, 'ARRY. THAT'S A STUNNING GREAT-COAT."

"AH! I FLATTER MYSELF IT'S RATHER 'DOWN THE ROAD.'"

THE HORRORS OF WAR.

First Newmarket Boy. "AWFUL WORK THIS, BILL. WE'RE A GOIN' TO WAR WITH ROOSIA!"

Second Ditto. "WELL, WOT ODDS?"

First Ditto. "WOT ODDS? WHY, THERE WON'T BE NO HEMPEROR'S CUP NEXT YEAR, THAT'S ALL!"

Cab driver being shaved whilst on his cab.

THE NEW CAB REGULATION.

SHOWING THE SHIFTS TO WHICH THE POOR CABMAN IS REDUCED, NOW THAT HE IS NOT PERMITTED TO LEAVE HIS SEAT WHILST ON DUTY.

LIFE IN LONDON.

Isabella. "WELL, AUNT, AND HOW DID YOU LIKE LONDON? I SUPPOSE YOU WERE VERY GAY?"

Aunt (who inclines to embonpoint). "OH YES, LOVE, GAY ENOUGH! WE WENT TO THE TOP O' THE MONUMENT O' MONDAY—AND TO THE TOP O' ST. PAUL'S O' TUESDAY—AND TO THE TOP O' THE DOOK O' YORK'S COLUMN O' WEDNESDAY—BUT I THINK ALTOGETHER I LIKE THE QUIET OF THE COUNTRY."

TERRIBLE PROPOSITION.

Ferocious Hairdresser. "NOW, SIR, SHALL I TAKE THE PINTS OFF THE WHISKERS?"

BUSINESS-LIKE.

"I SAY, CHARLEY, DON'T YOU THINK YOU HAD BETTER GO BACK TO YOUR CUSTOMER?"

Incipient Wine Merchant. "NOT YET. ALWAYS GONE A QUARTER OF AN HOUR FOR THE VERY OLD PORT—FURTHER END OF THE CELLAR! CELLAR'S VERY EXTENSIVE! GREAT CARE NECESSARY FOR FEAR OF DISTURBING THE CRUST, YOU KNOW—ET CÆTERA—TWIG?"

PRIDE FEELS NO PAIN.

Arabella. "OH! DON'T BE RIDICULOUS, FREDERICK. IT ISN'T THE SHOE, FOR THAT'S A GREAT DEAL TOO LARGE."

DISCRETION.

Gentleman from Town (loq.). "OH, IF THIS IS ONE OF THE LITTLE PLACES CHARLEY SPOKE OF, I SHALL GO BACK."

THE BEARD MOVEMENT.

DISMAY OF A BRITISH SWELL ON SEEING A POSTMAN WITH MOUSTACHES.

THE FLY-CATCHER.

WELL OUT OF IT.

"THAT'S A DEUCED GOOD HORSE TO GO, DRIVER. WHAT'S HIS FAULT THAT HE COMES IN A CAB?"

"WELL, SIR, I DON'T KNOW OF ANY FAULT IN PERTICKLER, 'CEPT THAT WHEN HE BEGINS TO KICK, HE DO KICK LIKE BLAZES."

THE POLICE WEAR BEARDS AND MOUSTACHES.—PANIC AMONGST THE STREET-BOYS.

Nurse neglecting children whilst writing letter.

SERVANTGALISM.

Mistress. "WHY, NURSE—WHAT A TERRIBLE DISTURBANCE!—PRAY, WHAT IS THE MATTER?"

Nurse (addicted to Pen and Ink). "OH, MUM, IT'S DREADFUL!—HERE'S NEETHER ME NOR MARY CAN'T ANSWER NONE OF OUR LETTERS FOR THE RACKET!"

Attempting to pluck a hare instead of skinning it.

THE NEW COOK.

Missis. "WHY, MY GOODNESS, COOK! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN ABOUT? FIVE O'CLOCK, AND THAT HARE NOT PUT DOWN YET!"

Artiste. "CAN'T HELP IT, MARM. I NEVER KNEW ANYTHINK TAKE SUCH A TIME TO PLUCK IN MY LIFE!"

NE PLUS(H) ULTRA.

John Thomas. "I TELL YOU WHAT, WILLIAM—THE PRESS MUST BE PUT DOWN! THEY'VE BIN AND GOT THE SOLDIERS' UNIFORM ALTERED, AND I SHOULDN'T WONDER IF THEY CALLED OURS RIDIKLUS NEXT!"

A DELICATE COMPLIMENT.

First Whip (who is a little ruffled because the Fox won't break). "NOW, THEN, SIR! OUT O' THE WAY, UNLESS YOU'LL GET INTO THE COVER. MAYHAP YOUR UGLY MUG MIGHT FRIGHTEN HIM OUT. COME UP, 'OSS!"

Lady losing her skirt after falling from her horse.

AN INCIDENT WITH THE O. P. Q. HOUNDS.

MISS DIANA SLIPS OFF AT A FENCE, AND IS SO UNFORTUNATE AS TO LEAVE THE BETTER HALF OF HER HABIT ON THE POMMELS OF HER SADDLE.

GREAT BOON TO THE PUBLIC.

Incipient Swell (in costume of the period). "WELL! TA-TA, GUS! I SHALL JUST GO AND SHOW MYSELF IN THE PARK."

THE RIGHT MEN IN THE RIGHT PLACE; VIZ., A CLUB WINDOW.

Old General Muddle. "WHAT I SAY, IS—IS—EH? WHAT? BY JOVE! WHAT THE DOOCE SHOULD CIVILIANS KNOW ABOUT—EH? WHAT—AHEM!—MILITARY AFFAIRS! AFFAIRS! EH?"

Colonel Splutter. "HAH! THE PRESS, SIR! BY JOVE, THE PRESS IS THE CURSE OF THE COUNTRY, AND WILL BE THE RUIN OF THE ARMY! BY JOVE, I'D HANG ALL LITTERY MEN—HANG 'EM, SIR!"

Horse cab driver asleep whilst driving his cab.

IN THE PARK.

THE POOR FLY-DRIVERS ARE UP SO LATE AT NIGHTS, THAT THEY ARE GLAD TO GET A NAP WHEN THEY CAN. THIS IS NOT TO BE WONDERED AT, BUT IT IS NOT LIKELY TO ADD TO THE REPOSE EITHER OF OLD MRS. DUMBLEDORE OR OF OLD MRS. BLOWHARD, WHO ARE OUT FOR AN AIRING.

"WELL, THEY MAY CALL THIS A HEALTH-GIVING PURSUIT, IF THEY LIKE: BUT GIVE ME ROACH-FISHING IN A PUNT."

SOMETHING THE MATTER WITH THE KITCHEN BOILER. (Affectionately dedicated to PATERFAMILIAS, whoever he might be.)

Distressed kitcen maid with fortune teller.

FORTUNE-TELLING.—A SCENE OF DOMESTIC INTEREST.

MR. TOM NODDY'S FIRST DAY WITH THE HOUNDS.

No. I.

Groom. "YOU'LL FIND THE MARE IN RARE FETTLE, SIR. SHE'S UNCOMMON FRESH TO BE SURE!"

No. II.

SO FRESH THAT SHE WON'T LET T. N. MOUNT FOR EVER SO LONG, AND WHEN SHE DOES

No. III.

ALLOW HIM, PUTS UP HER BACK IN THE MOST OMINOUS MANNER.

No. IV.

SHE SHIES AT A WHEELBARROW—A THING SHE NEVER DID BEFORE. (T. N. DROPS HIS WHIP.) AFTER SOME

No. V.

TROUBLE IN OPENING A GATE.

No. VI.

(T. N. DROPS HIS WHIP AGAIN, BY-THE-BY.)

No. VII.

HE GETS UPON A NICE PIECE OF TURF.

No. VIII.

THE MARE ENJOYS HERSELF AMAZINGLY.

No. IX.

ARRIVED AT THE MEET, LITTLE TOM NODDY THINKS HE WILL HAVE A QUIET WEED; BUT AT THIS MOMENT

No. X.

THE HOUNDS MOVE FOR THE COVER, AND THE MARE BECOMES FULL OF PLAY AGAIN.

NO. XI.

HAVING PICKED HIMSELF UP, TOGETHER WITH HIS WHIP AND CIGAR, T. N. JOGS ON WITH THE REST OF THE FIELD. AS THEY PASS BY SOME TURNIPS, TO THE DELIGHT OF EVERYBODY, A FOX GETS UP. THE MARE, WHO HAD BECOME ALMOST STEADY, IS AGAIN EXCITED, AND RUSHES WILDLY AHEAD, AMIDST THE EXECRATIONS OF THE HUNT, AND LOUD CRIES OF "HOLD HARD!" WHICH T. N. MISTAKES FOR ANXIETY ON HIS ACCOUNT; AND GRASPING THE POMMEL OF HIS SADDLE WITH BOTH HANDS, ABANDONS HIMSELF TO CIRCUMSTANCES, WHICH, CONSIDERING THERE IS A FLIGHT OF HURDLES BEFORE HIM, ARE NOT VERY FAVOURABLE.

No. XII.

FORTUNATELY FOR TOM NODDY, HOWEVER, THE MARE SWERVES AT THE HURDLES, AND WITH THE EXCEPTION OF DROPPING HIS WHIP AGAIN, HE MEETS WITH NO GREAT INCONVENIENCE

No. XIII.

BUT COMING TO THE FIRST FENCE, THE PLAYFUL CREATURE GOES AT IT LIKE A SHOT OUT OF A GUN;

No. XIV.

AND T. N. FINDS THAT THERE IS STILL A GOOD DEAL OF SNOW IN SOME OF THE DITCHES.

No. XV.

THE MARE EXTRICATES HERSELF FROM THE DIFFICULTY SOONER THAN OUR LITTLE FRIEND, AND GETTING AWAY FROM HIM, TAKES A LINE OF HER OWN.

No. XVI.

T. N. FINDS RUNNING AFTER HIS QUADRUPED VERY LABORIOUS. HE RESTS HIMSELF ON A STILE, AND HAS ANOTHER QUIET WEED.

No. XVII.

THIS REPRESENTS THE PRECISE MOMENT WHEN TOM NODDY, AFTER MUCH EXERCISE, MEETS A SIMPLE COUNTRYMAN RETURNING WITH THE MARE. THE SIMPLE COUNTRYMAN IS ASSURING T. N. THAT HE HAD A DEAL OF TROUBLE TO CATCH HER, AND THEN IT WUR TWENTY MINUTES AFORE HE COULD MAKE HER LEAVE THE 'OUNDS—AND THEN ONLY 'ACAUSE SHE WUR QUITE "BLOWED."—(N.B. The simple countryman hopes T. N. will remember him.)

CERTAINLY NOT.

Shoe Brigade Boy (to old Gent irascible from gout, which has settled in his feet). "NOW, SIR! DID YOU WANT YOUR SHOES BLACKED?"

THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.

Frederick. "NOW THEN, WILLIAM, WHAT ARE YER WAITING FOR?"

William. "WHY, I WAS A-THINKIN' VETHER I SHOULD WEAR MY MOOSTARCHERS LIKE THIS HERE OR LIKE THAT HARE."

PLEASANT QUARTERS.

A YOUNG OFFICER IN THE MILITIA LEARNING THE MANUAL EXERCISE OVER YOUR HEAD!

AGRICULTURAL DISTRESS.

Young Farmer No 1. "WELL, CHARLEY—HAVE YOU HAD MUCH SHOOTING LATELY?"

Young Farmer No. 2. "WHY, NO; WHAT WITH HUNTING TWO DAYS A WEEK AND COURSING TWO DAYS, I DON'T GET MUCH TIME TO GO OUT WITH A GUN."

AN HOUR'S RIDE.

VALENTINE'S DAY.

THE REAL STREET OBSTRUCTIONS.

Man leading horse ,and cart loaded with ice.

THE ICE HARVEST.

Men warming their feet with bearskin hats.

THE REAL USE OF THE BEAR-SKIN CAP—A HINT TO THE GUARDS.

THE FROZEN-OUT FOXHUNTER.

SPORTING MILITAIRE RECALLS TO MIND HIS CANADIAN EXPERIENCES (THE GROUND BEING DEEP WITH SNOW), BUILDS A TREBOGGIN, AND FOR THE MOMENT CEASES TO SWEAR AT THE FROST, OR TO REGRET THE SIX HUNTERS HE HAS EATING THEIR HEADS OFF IN THE STABLE.

ONE WAY OF LOOKING AT IT.

First Dandy M.P. "PWOWOGATION TO BE LATE THIS YEAR, ON ACCOUNT OF SOME COLONIAL BILLS, I HEAR."

Second Ditto. "BOTHER THE COLONIES! HAVEN'T WE DONE ENOUGH FOR 'EM THIS YEAR?—DIDN'T WEST AUSTRALIAN WIN THE DERBY?"

Group of bored men watching a Punch and Judy show.

A VERY OLD FRIEND.

OUR "USED UP" MAN HAS A FEW "USED UP" FRIENDS TO BREAKFAST; AFTER WHICH THEY DERIVE A LITTLE REAL ENJOYMENT FROM A DRAMATIC ENTERTAINMENT

AQUATICS.—A COMFORTABLE RAN-DAN.

Jolly Young Waterman. "HOLLOA! HI! POLICE! BACK WATER, JACK! WE'VE GOT INTO A NEST OF SWANS, AND THEY'RE A PITCHIN' INTO ME!"

THE SUPERIOR ANIMAL.

Party (who of course doesn't think HIMSELF good looking). "REALLY, CLARA, I CAN'T THINK HOW YOU CAN MAKE A PET OF SUCH AN UGLY BRUTE AS AN ISLE OF SKYE TERRIER!"

Horse drawn carriage made from woven wicker.

THOSE BOYS AGAIN!

Street Boy (in playful allusion to the basket carriage). "OH, LOOK HERE, BILL! IF 'ERE AIN'T A SWELL DRIVING HISSELF HOME FROM THE WASH!"

MARRIED FOR MONEY.—THE HONEYMOON.

"NOW, THEN, DARLING, PUT AWAY YOUR PAPER, AND WE'LL HAVE A NICE LONG WALK, AND THEN COME BACK TO TEA IN OUR OWN LITTLE COTTAGE, AND BE AS HAPPY AS TWO LITTLE BIRDS!" SAID THE FAIR BRIDE.—"OH, HANG IT!" MENTALLY EJACULATED THE CAPTAIN.

Room for only one in the carriage when wearing a wide dress.

COOL REQUEST.

Lady Crinoline. "YOU WON'T MIND RIDING ON THE BOX, EDWARD DEAR, WILL YOU?—I'M AFRAID, IF WE BOTH GO INSIDE THE BROUGHAM, MY NEW DRESS WILL GET SO RUMPLED!"

Man offering to take out cousin and his lady friend.

A NICE OFFER.

Cousin (who is a leetle fast). "MORNIN', CHARLES! NOW THEN, IF YOU WILL POP ON YOUR HATS, AND WRAP YOURSELVES UP WARM, I'LL TAKE YOU AND YOUR FRIEND OUT FOR A DRIVE!"

INFRA DIG.

EFFECT OF THE CAB-STRIKE—GOING TO THE OPERA IN A WHEELBARROW.

UNABASHED.

Emily. "WHY, MY GOODNESS, FRANK! WHAT A DREADFUL BLACK EYE YOU HAVE! YOU ARE QUITE DISFIGURED!" Frank. "H'M, HAH! THAT'S VERY DISAGREEABLE, NOW; I WAS IN HOPES NO ONE WOULD HAVE PERCEIVED IT!"

[Frank has been so unfortunate as to catch a cold in his eye from sitting in a draught at Exeter Hall—so he SAYS.

Man spilling food and drink in rush to catch train.

AN INCIDENT OF TRAVEL.

AS THE TRAIN STOPS, MR. P. ENDEAVOURS TO GET SOME STOUT FOR HIS WIFE, WHO FROM CIRCUMSTANCES, IS OBLIGED TO DRINK THAT REFRESHING BEVERAGE FOUR OR FIVE TIMES A-DAY. UNFORTUNATELY MR. P. CANNOT FIND HIS CARRIAGE, AND, AS THE TRAIN IS RATHER BEHIND TIME, THE OFFICIALS ARE IN SOME HURRY AND CONFUSION.

Man surrounded by ladies waiting on him.

LET US HAVE JAPANESE MANNERS AND CUSTOMS HERE.

"THE TRAVELLER, WEARIED WITH THE NOONDAY HEAT, NEED NEVER BE AT A LOSS TO FIND REST AND REFRESHMENT; STRETCHED UPON THE SOFTEST AND CLEANEST OF MATTING, IMBIBING THE MOST DELICATELY FLAVOURED TEA, INHALING THE FRAGRANT TOBACCO OF JAPAN, HE RESIGNS HIMSELF TO THE MINISTRATIONS OF A BEVY OF FAIR DAMSELS, WHO GLIDE RAPIDLY AND NOISELESSLY ABOUT, THE MOST ZEALOUS AND SKILFUL OF ATTENDANTS."—TIMES.

A DELICATE CREATURE.

Youthful Swell. "NOW CHARLEY—YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR BREAKFAST, HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE?"

Languid Swell (probably in a Government Office). "THANKS! NO! I ASSURE YAH—MY DE-AR FELLAH! IF I WAS TO TAKE A CUP OF COFFEE IN THE MORNING, IT WOULD KEEP ME AWAKE ALL DAY!"

RECREATIONS IN NATURAL HISTORY.

First Naturalist. "WHAT! THE S-S-HE-SHER-PENT A-AN (HIC) ICH-(HIC-)THYOSAURUS? NONSHE-ENSE!"

Second Naturalist. "WHO SAID ICH-(HIC) ICHTHY-O-SAURUS? I SAID A (HIC) PLESI-O-(HIC)-SAURUS PLAINENUFF."

VERY CONSIDERATE.

Steward. "WILL EITHER OF YOU, GENTLEMEN, DINE ON BOARD? THERE'S A CAPITAL HOT DINNER AT THREE O'CLOCK."

Man about to board train, talking with guard.

PERFECTLY DWEADFUL!

Guard. "NOW, SIR! IF YOU'RE GOING ON BY THE EXPRESS, HERE'S JUST ROOM FOR ONE!"

Tourist. "WHA-T! GET IN WITH HAWWID OLD WOMEN, AND SQUEEMING CHILDREN! BY JOVE! YOU KNOW! I SAY! IT'S IMPAWSIBLE, YOU KNOW!"

SCENE—A CLUB.

Swell. "HAW! IS THERE ANYTHING WEADY FOR DINNAW?"

Waiter. "SHOULDER OF MUTTON JUST READY, SIR!"

Swell. "HAW—SHOULDAW OF MUTTON!—AW—WHAT A VEWY ODD THING FOR DINNAW!—THOUGHT THEY ONLY MADE GLUE OF SHOULDAW OF MUTTON!"

FLATTERING.

Boy (in allusion to BROWN, who thinks he is well got up). "OH! LOOK HERE, BILLY. THEY'VE GOT A DINNER PARTY AT THIS 'OUSE—AND IF 'ERE AIN'T THE COVE WHAT'S A-GOING TO WAIT."

BENEFIT OF CLERGY.

Binks, Minor (loq.). "AH! YOU CAN'T THINK HOW A FELLA SAVES, WHEN HE GOES INTO THE CHURCH. I USED TO GIVE SNOBBINS THREE GUINEAS FOR MY BOOTS, AND NOW I GET THEM MADE FOR TWO POUND TWELVE."

Binks, Major. "BY JOVE!"

A BARE ASSERTION.

Fred. "HOW DO YOU LIKE THE ALTERATION, BLANCHE?"

Blanche. "WHAT ALTERATION, DEAR?"

Fred. "WHY, HANG IT!—HAVEN'T I CUT OFF MY BEARD AND MOUSTACHES?"

MR. PUNCH AT HOME.

THE FRUGAL MARRIAGE QUESTION.

Jones (of the Dandelion Club). "DOOCED JOLLY, I SHOULD SAY, TO MARRY ON £300 A-YEAR! THINK A SEE MYSELF WOCKING A CWADLE, AND FETCHING HOME THE MUTTON FROM THE BAKER!"

[Orders Glass of Dry Curaçoa.

FAINT ATTEMPT TO CARRY OUT JONES'S IDEA.

THOSE HORRID BOYS!

Precise Female (in answer to a rude inquiry). "YOU ARE A VERY IMPERTINENT BOY!—YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL THAT IT IS A MATTER OF NO MOMENT TO YOU WHO MY HATTER IS!"

VAGARIES OF FASHION.

Charles. "FIGURE, INDEED! WHAT'S A FELLOW TO DO? A MAN MUST WEAR SOMETHING. HATS AND COATS ARE OUT OF THE QUESTION—THEY ARE REALLY SO VERY EFFEMINATE."

NOT A QUESTION OF WEATHER.

WHEN IT IS VERY FOGGY IN LONDON, IT IS DELIGHTFUL AT BRIGHTON—AT LEAST SO CHARLES AND GEORGINA THINK.

IS SMOKING INJURIOUS?

Youthful Swell. "HAW! LOOK HERE! IS THAT CHEST OF CIGARS YOU IMPORTED FOR ME RIPE YET?"

Cigar Dealer. "WELL, SIR—I FEAR NOT—THAT IS, NOT RIPE FOR YOUR TASTE, SIR, FOR AT LEAST THREE WEEKS; BUT WE CAN SPARE YOU A COUPLE OF THOUSAND OF THESE GIANT REGALIAS TO GO ON WITH TILL THE WEATHER IS MILDER, WHEN YOUR CIGARS WILL MELLOW RAPIDLY!"

[Youth accepts the generous offer, and lounges out with a Giant Regalia as big as his leg in his mouth.

THE SHUTTLE-COCK NUISANCE.

Little Girl. "OH, I BEG YOUR PARDON SIR!—IT WAS THE WIND AS DONE IT!"

PRUDENT RESOLVE.

Little Party. "GO AND WALK IN HYDE PARK? OH, AH!—I DESSAY! AND GET PELTED FOR A HARISTOCRAT?—NO THANK 'E—NOT IF I KNOW IT."

A PLEASING BELIEF.

Whipper. "WELL, I WEAR MINE BECAUSE IT SAVES TROUBLE, AND IS SO VERY 'EALTHY."

Snapper. "HAH, WELL THERE AIN'T NO HUMBUG ABOUT ME; I WEAR MINE BECAUSE THEY LOOKS 'ANSOM, AND GOES DOWN WITH THE GALS."

RAILWAY COLLUSION—A HINT TO STATION-MASTERS.

Porter. "NOW, THEN, BILL! ARE YOU OFF?"

Cab Ruffian. "NO; WHAT SORT OF FARE IS IT?"

Porter. "SINGLE GENT, WITH SMALL BAG."

Ruffian. "OH, HE WON'T DO! CAN'T YER FIND US A OLD LADY AND TWO LITTLE GALS WITH LOTS O' BOXES? I'M GOOD FOR A PINT!"

DISAGREEABLE TRUTH.

Soldier. "NOW, THEN! YOU MUST MOVE AWAY FROM HERE."

Rude Boy. "AH, BUT YOU MUSN'T, OLD FELLER!"

OLD BROOM.—RETIRING FROM BUSINESS.

New Broom. "POOR JACK, YER HONOR?"

Old Broom. "LEAVE THEM COVES ALONE, TIM; THEY'RE TWO SWELLS WHAT ALWAYS CROSSES IN A 'ANSOM—'CAUSE O' THEIR BOOTS!"

Ticket inspector about to ask for ticket from passenger.

ANOTHER RAILWAY MISERY.

NOW, WE DO HOPE THIS OLD GENTLEMAN IS NOT GOING TO BE ASKED TO SHOW HIS TICKET; BECAUSE THIS OLD GENTLEMAN HAS JUST PACKED HIMSELF UP QUITE COMFORTABLY, AND HIS TICKET IS IN THE VERY INNERMOST RECESS OF HIS WAISTCOAT POCKET; AND BECAUSE, YOU SEE, THIS IS JUST THE SORT OF OLD GENTLEMAN WHO IS LIKELY TO BE MUCH IRRITATED BY SUCH A REQUEST AT SUCH A TIME.

INCIDENT IN A FRENCH REVOLUTION.

Omnibus Driver. "THIS IS ORRIBLE VURK IN PARIS, SIR. VY, THEY TELL ME THEY'VE BIN AND BURNT ALL THE BUSSES!"

DWEADFUL ACCIDENT IN HIGH LIFE.

THE HONOURABLE SPENCER DAWDLE (WHOSE TOTAL ABSENCE OF MIND IS SO WELL KNOWN) HAVING MADE A MORNING CALL IN BELGRAVIA, WALKS OFF WITH A HAT AND STICK WHICH DO NOT BELONG TO HIM!

Two officers, one reading paper to other.

THE NEW REGULATION.

Lieutenant Blazer (of the Plungers). "GOOD GWACIOUS! HERE'S A HORWIBLE GO! INFANTWY'S GOING TO GWOW A MOUSTACHE!"

Cornet Fluffey. "YAW DON'T MEAN THAT! WELL! THERE'S ONLY ONE ALTERNATIVE FOR US. WE MUST SHAVE!"

A PICTURE OF ALIMENTIVENESS.

A NICE LITTLE BIT OF FISH.

Man changing to hunting pink in carriage.

WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY.

Foxhunting Doctor. "NOT BE IN TIME! OH, NONSENSE! SEND MY HORSE ON,—SEE MY PATIENTS EARLY,—DRESS IN THE BROUGHAM,—THERE I AM!" (and we hope he may have a good run).

[We have been obliged to take the side of the carriage out, which perhaps the kind reader will excuse.

PATIENCE REWARDED.

Piscator. "A-HAH! GOT YOU AT LAST, HAVE I?—AND A FINE WEEK'S TROUBLE I'VE HAD TO CATCH YOU!"

SERVANTGALISM.—No. X.

Servant Gal. "I TELL YOU WHAT, COOK; WITH MY BEAUTY AND FIGGER, I AIN'T A GOIN' TO STOP IN SARVICE NO LONGER; I SHALL BE ORF TO HORSETRAYLIER."

JOHN THOMAS NON-PLUSHED.

Tax Collector. "JOHN THOMAS MOONCALF?"

John Thomas. "—ESQUIRE, THAT'S ME!"

Tax Collector. "THEN BE SO GOOD AS TO FILL UP THIS INCOME-TAX PAPER AND RETURN IT TO ME BEFORE TWENTY DAYS!"

EDUCATION IN THE MINING DISTRICTS.

Jemoimer. "BIST THOU A GOIN' TO SKULE, ELOYZA?"

Eloyza. "NOT HI, JEMOIMER. THEY GID US TEA AND BUNS LARST WEEK, AND WE SHA'T HAN NO MOORE TILL CUM CRISMUS; SO MUTHER SAYS AS HOW IT AIN'T NO USE."

UNCONSCIOUS SATIRE.

"THERE, BABY DEAR, LOOK AT THE PRETTY SOLDIERS!"

AVERAGE WEIGHT OF THE FOOT GUARDS.

Heavy Swell. "WHAT'S THE AVERAGE WEIGHT OF THE MEN IN YOUR REGIMENT, CHARLEY?"

Swell in the Guards. "DON'T KNOW, I'M SURE—AW—BUT TEN GO TO THE TON."

Two youths discussing a lady talking to a man.

THE CONFIDENCE OF YOUTH.

Juvenile. "I WONDER WHETHER THAT GURL HAS GOT ANY TIN—FOR I FEEL MOST OWDACIOUSLY INCLINED TO GO AND CUT THAT FELLOW OUT."

Disgruntled Mr. Punch surrounde by dogs.

A VISIT TO A DOG-FANCIER.

TRIUMPH OF MIND OVER MATTER.

Old Gent. "AND PRAY WHO IS YOUR FRIEND WITH THE COFFEE POT?"

Small Boy. "THAT? OH! HE'S MY FAG—HE GETS ME MY BREAKFAST AND SUCH LIKE, BUT I ALWAYS LEAVE HIM SOME CRUMPETS—AND NEVER BULLY HIM!"

WHAT, INDEED?

Stern Parent. "I TELL YOU, SIR, I WILL NOT ALLOW IT—AND DON'T LET ME SEE ANY MORE NASTY PIPES OR TOBACCO IN THIS HOUSE."

Young Williams. "BOO-HOO—AND WHAT'S A FELLOW TO DO WHEN ALL THE MEN OF HIS OWN AGE SMOKE?"

DID YOU EVER!

Friend. "WELL, SPRAT, MY BOY—AND HOW DO YOU GET ON, NOW YOU'RE MARRIED?"

Sprat. "H'M! PRETTY BOBBISH—BUT THERE'S ONE THING MAKES IT DOOCID UNCOMFORTABLE SOMETIMES—ENTRE NOUS—MRS. S. IS SO CONFOUNDEDLY JEALOUS OF ME."

MORAL INFLUENCE OF EXECUTIONS.

"WHERE 'AVE WE B'N? WHY, TO SEE THE COVE 'UNG, TO BE SURE!"

ADVENTURES OF MR. TOM NODDY.

No. I.

OUR LITTLE FRIEND, TOM NODDY, THINKS THE SEA-WATER WILL DO HIS MARE'S LEGS A WORLD OF GOOD

No. II.

THE PLAYFUL CREATURE OBJECTS AT FIRST, BUT FINDING THE PROCESS AGREEABLE, DETERMINES TO HAVE A COMPLETE BATH.

No. III.

LANDING OF TOM NODDY. HIS HORSE HAVING HAD ENOUGH OF IT, RETURNS TO HIS STABLE.

No. IV.

OUR FRIEND HAS A DAY WITH THE BROOKSIDE HARRIERS.—WITH HIS USUAL PRUDENCE HE GETS A HORSE ACCUSTOMED TO THE HILLS.

DOMESTIC ECONOMY.

Newly Married Daughter (whose husband's income is, if anything, decidedly limited). "—AND SEE HERE, PAPA, DEAR, WE ARE GETTING ON SO BEAUTIFULLY WITH OUR FURNISHING! WE BOUGHT THESE LOVELY GOLD AND SILVER INDIAN ELEPHANTS AT A SALE THE OTHER DAY, AND ONLY GAVE FIFTY POUNDS FOR THEM; WASN'T IT CHEAP? WE ONLY WANT A LITTLE CRACKED CHINA TO MAKE THE ROOM QUITE COMFORTABLE!"

A CAUTIOUS BIRD.

Lobkins. "WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT MARRYIN'—FOR YER SEE, AFTER THE KNOT WAS TIED, SOME OTHER GAL MIGHT BE FALLIN' IN LOVE WITH ONE—AND THAT WOULD BE SO DOOCED AWKWARD!"

FORTUNE'S FAVOURITE.

First Snob. "YOU KNOW THAT JOLLY LITTLE GIRL, JULIA BINKS?"

Second Snob. "ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD."

First Snob. "WELL! SHE'S BEEN STICKING UP TO ME LIKE BRICKS, BUT I CAN'T RETURN HER AFFECTION, BECAUSE I'M SO DEUCED SWEET WITH THE PLANTAGENET GALS."

Costermonger with heavy basket asking for help from gent.

WANTING IN REVERENCE.

Coster (to extremely genteel person). "I SAY, GUVNER, GIVE US A HIST WITH THIS 'ERE BILIN' O' GREENS!"

JEW D'ESPRIT.

Young Sholomunsh (to Young SNOBLEY, who is attired in his very best). "NOW, SIR! LET ME SHELL YOU A NISH SHUIT OF CLOSHE, MAKE YER GOOD ALLOWANCE FOR THE OLD UNS YER'VE GOT ON!"

[SNOBLEY'S feelings may be imagined.

QUITE RIDICULOUS!

"DO YOU BELIEVE IN TABLE-TALKING, MATILDA, THAT THERE'S SUCH A FUSS ABOUT?"

"OH, DEAR NO! WHY, THE OTHER EVENING A TABLE WAS ASKED HOW OLD I WAS, AND IT RAPPED OUT FORTY! WHEN I'M NOT THREE-AND-TWENTY TILL NEXT MARCH!"

Young lady approached by much older man.

MAY AND DECEMBER.

Two very plain ladies looking at shadows.

A VAIN SHADOW.

"MY LOVE! DO YOU THINK THOSE FELLOWS ARE FOLLOWING US?"

Two men discussing a well dressed gentleman.

MIND AND MATTER.

Navvy. "AH, BILL! IT SHOWS THE FORRARD MARCH OF THE AGE. FUST THE BRUTE FORCE, SUCH AS 'IM; AND THEN THE LIKES OF US TO DO IT SCIENTIFIC, AND SHOW THE MIGHT OF INTELLECT."

SYMPATHY.

Tailor (to considerable Customer). "TRIFLE THINNER THAN YOU WAS, SIR! GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK, SIR! 'OPE YOU'LL SOON GET YOUR HEALTH, SIR. WHEN WE HEARD YOUR REGIMENT HAD BEEN IN ACTION, SIR,—YOU MAY FANCY WHAT OUR FEELINGS WAS, SIR!"

OXFORD COSTUME.

Small Oxford Man. "NOW, SNIP, REMEMBER, NOT SO TIGHT IN THE ARM!"

Snip. "VERY GOOD, SIR." (To the Clerk.) "84 AND A 'ARF!"

STARTLING FACT!

Oxford Swell. "DO YOU MAKE MANY OF THESE MONKEY-JACKETS, NOW?"

Snip. "OH, DEAR YES, SIR; THERE ARE MORE MONKEYS IN OXFORD THIS TERM THAN EVER, SIR."

CUPID AT SEA.

Angelina (to Edwin, whose only chance is perfect tranquillity). "EDWIN, DEAR! IF YOU LOVE ME, GO DOWN INTO THE CABIN, AND FETCH ME MY SCENT-BOTTLE, AND ANOTHER SHAWL TO PUT OVER MY FEET!"

[EDWIN'S sensations are more easily imagined than described.

Boy inconvrersation with his mother in the presence of Miss Grumph.

HOW VERY EMBARRASSING!

Gustavus. "MAMMA, DEAR! ARE MOUSTACHES FASHIONABLE?"

Mamma. "WELL, GUS. I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY, BUT I BELIEVE THEY ARE."

Gus. "OH! THEN, IS THAT THE REASON WHY MISS GRUMPH WEARS 'EM?"

[MISS GRUMPH, as well as being strong-minded, is rather masculine in appearance.

AN ELIGIBLE PARTY.

Juvenile. "WELL, I KNOW WHAT I SHALL DO: I SHALL LOOK OUT FOR SOME OLD GAL WITH PLENTY OF MONEY."

VERY RUDE, INDEED!

ENTER TOM (A DISAGREEABLE BOY FROM SCHOOL.)—Tom. "LOOK HERE, CLARA, THERE'S A YOUNG WOMAN DOWNSTAIRS HAS BROUGHT THIS FOR YOU, AND WANTS TO KNOW IF IT WILL DO."

A MAN OF CONSEQUENCE.

Cousin Harriet. "WELL, ALFRED, WILL YOU STOP AND HAVE SOME TEA WITH US?"

Alfred. "HAW! YOU'RE VERY GOOD, I'M SURE; BUT I'VE GOT TO TAKE THE CHILDREN TO SEE THE PANTOMIME!"

UNDER THE MISTLETOE.

AUGUSTUS THINKS CRINOLINE A DETESTABLE INVENTION.

THE HUSBAND AS HE OUGHT TO BE

Angelina. "WELL, LOVE, HOW DO YOU THINK I LOOK?—DO YOU LIKE THE DRESS?"

Edwin. "I THINK IT'S PERFECTLY CHARMING.—I NEVER SAW YOU LOOK BETTER!"

AND

AND AS HE OUGHT NOT TO BE. (Isn't it so, my Dears?)

Angelina. "WELL, E.,—YOU DON'T SAY A WORD ABOUT MY DRESS?"

Edwin. "EM, WHAT? OH, UGH!—H'M—BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL!"

AS WELL BE OUT OF THE WORLD AS OUT OF THE FASHION.

Old Gentleman (who is of course much behind his age). "WELL, MY LITTLE DEAR, AND PRAY WHAT NICE LITTLE GIRL ARE YOU?"

Little Girl. "OH, IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, I'M A PUSEYITE, AND SO'S BESSY 'ARRIS." (To Young Lady.) "AIN'T WE, MEM?"

ASSURANCE.

Juvenile. "AW, HAIRDRESSER, WHEN YOU'VE FINISHED MY HAIR, JUST TAKE OFF MY BEARD, WILL YOU?"

THE NEW THEATRE.

Constance (reads advertisement to Alice). "'* * * The Orchestra Stalls will be exceedingly commodious. Each person will have a separate Arm-Chair, occupying a space of two feet in breadth.' H'M—I DON'T SEE THAT THAT'S SO EXCEEDINGLY COMMODIOUS—EH, DEAR?"

Man and woman horse riders enjoying the scenery.

AN AGREEABLE PRESCRIPTION.

"THE WEATHER IS CHARMING, ALTHOUGH I DO NOT FEEL MUCH INCLINED FOR TRANSACTIONS OF A BUSINESS NATURE. I AM DECIDEDLY BETTER. MY DOCTOR, A MOST SENSIBLE MAN, RECOMMENDS ME TO TAKE HORSE EXERCISE, AND GO INTO AGREEABLE SOCIETY. I ENDEAVOUR TO CARRY OUT HIS SUGGESTIONS."—Scarborough.

SIGHING FOR THE SUNNY SOUTH.

Omnibus Driver. "I DON'T LIKE BEING A HABSENTEE, JEM; BUT IF THIS PRECIOUS EASTERLY VIND LASTS MUCH LONGER, I SHALL BE HOFF WITH MY FAMILY TO THE SOUTH OF FRANCE."

AFFECTING—RATHER.

Alfred. "TELL ME, MY OWN ONE, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU HAVE TO SAY BEFORE I GO?"

Emma. "YES, DEAREST—DO NOT—OH, DO NOT FORGET TO BRING THE-TH-TH-BRUNSWICK SAUSAGE FROM F-F-F-FORT-NUM AND MASON'S."

A PREJUDICED OPINION.

"I TELL YER WHAT, BILL, I THINK THE POLICE ARE A BAD LOT—AND I WISH THEY WAS DONE AWAY WITH ALTOGETHER."

Woman bending over a man lying on the floor.

A GOLDEN RULE.

"LET US SPEAK OF A MAN AS WE FIND HIM."

Sailor tallking to gent on a stormy night.

A DELICATE HINT.

Brighton Boatman. "THERE'S A WESSEL OUT THERE, SIR, A LABOURIN' A GOOD DEAL, SIR! AH, SIR, SAILORS WORKS WERRY 'ARD—PRECIOUS 'ARD LINES IT IS FOR THE POOR FELLERS OUT THERE!—PRECIOUS 'ARD IT IS FOR EVERYBODY JUST NOW. I KNOW I SHOULD LIKE THE PRICE OF A PINT O' BEER AND A BIT O' BACCA!"

Inspector talking to man through carriage window.

THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.

Railway Official (waking Old Gent from a sweet sleep). "TICKETS, PLEASE!"

BY THE SAD SEA WAVES.

TOMKINS, DISCONSOLATE ON A ROCK, TRACES SOME CHARACTERS UPON THE SAND. TO HIM, MRS. TOMKINS (WHOSE NAME IS MARTHA).

Mrs. T. "WELL, MR. TOMKINS, AND PRAY WHO MAY HENRIETTA BE?"

[TOMKINS utters a yell of despair, and falls prostrate.

SCHOLASTIC.

Mother. "AND, PRAY, DOCTOR, WHAT ARE YOUR TERMS FOR HEDUCATING LITTLE BOYS?"

The Principal. "WHY, MY DEAR MADAM, MY USUAL TERMS ARE SEVENTY GUINEAS PER ANNUM (TO USE THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANCIENT ROMANS), BUT TO EFFECT MY OBJECT (?) QUICKLY, I WOULD TAKE A FEW FOR WHAT I COULD GET, PROVIDED THEY BE GENTLEMEN, LIKE YOUR DEAR LITTLE BOY THERE; BUT (AGAIN TO USE THE LATIN TONGUE) IT IS A SINE QUA NON THAT THEY SHOULD BE GENTLEMEN!!"

QUEEN OF THE MAY.

A PERFECT WRETCH.

Wife. "WHY, DEAR ME, WILLIAM; HOW TIME FLIES! I DECLARE WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED TEN YEARS TO-DAY!"

Wretch. "HAVE WE, LOVE! I AM SURE I THOUGHT IT HAD BEEN A GREAT DEAL LONGER."

AN ENGLISH NOBLEMAN, PAINTED BY THE FRENCH.

Milord. "GODAM! ROSBIF! I SHALL SELL MY WIFE AT SMITHFIELD, DAM!"

A STORM IN A TEACUP.

Head Nurse (with much dignity). "MISS MARY! YOU SHALL NOT STIR YOUR TEA WITH THE SNUFFERS!—IT IS NOT LADY-LIKE, AND I AM QUITE SURE YOUR PAPA WOULD NOT APPROVE OF IT!"

[MISS MARY howls awfully, and smashes tea-cup.

Two children discussing forthcoming party.

WAITING FOR THE CARRIAGE.

Charlie. "THIS WILL BE A STUPID AFFAIR, GEORGY."

Georgy. "OH! YES—ONLY A WHITE FROCK AND BLACK MITTEN PARTY—VERY SLOW!"

[Old Nurse wonders what next.

WORKING AGAINST TIME.

THE ARTIST GIVES THE FINISHING TOUCH TO HIS PICTURE. HE HAS BEEN SO BUSY THAT HE HAS NOT EVEN BEEN ABLE TO GET HIS HAIR CUT.

KETCHEE! KETCHEE!

MR. PUNCH IN THE BOSOM OF HIS FAMILY.

DID YOU EVER!

Augustus. "I SAY, AUNT! DID YOU SEE WHAT THE NEWSPAPER SAYS ABOUT THE ECLIPSE?"

Aunt. "NO! WHAT DOES IT SAY? READ IT, CHILD! ANYTHING RELATING TO THAT WONDERFUL EVENT IS INTERESTING."

Augustus. "WHY, IT SAYS THAT IT IS EXPECTED TO HAVE AN EXTRAORDINARY EFFECT UPON THE INFERIOR ANIMALS! MY WIG! I'D HAVE YOU AND THE GIRLS LOOK OUT FOR SQUALLS!"

[Disgusting, Low-Minded Boy.

Dishevelled man speaking in luxurious conservatory.

FUMIGATION.

Coster. "'SCUSE ME, MARM, BUT DID YER WANT YER GREEN-'OUSE SMOKED?—NO CHARGE. ONLY TO FIND THE 'BACCA, AND A DROP O' SUMTHIN' TO DRINK!"

Two fishlike persons singing at a piano.

WARBLERS UNDER WATER.

OH DEAR!

THAT REGULAR FAMILY NEXT DOOR ARE HAVING THEIR CHIMNEY SWEPT AGAIN.

EARLY PHILOSOPHY.

Juvenile. "AH, IT'S ALL VERY WELL! LOVE MAY DO FOR BOYS AND GALS; BUT WE, AS MEN OF THE WORLD, KNOW 'OW 'OLLOW IT IS."

OUT OF HIS ELEMENT.

Flunkey (who does not approve of Bloomsbury). "NO, MA'AM, I DON'T OBJEC' TO THE 'OUSE, FOR IT'S HAIREY, AND THE VITTLES IS GOOD; BUT THE FACT IS THAT ALL MY CONNEXIONS LIVE IN BELGRAVIA!"

Lady adressing man sitting on an easy chair

TOO BAD!

Bertha. "NOW, REALLY, CHARLES, YOU ARE VERY PROVOKING. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR MY HAT EVERYWHERE—AND I DECLARE YOU ARE SITTING UPON IT."

Policeman talking to boy with lady onlooker.

A VICTIM OF FASHION.

Police Constable (to Boy). "NOW THEN, OFF WITH THAT HOOP! OR I'LL PRECIOUS SOON HELP YOU!"

Lady (who imagines the observation is addressed to her). "WHAT A MONSTER!"

[Lifts up the Crinoline, and hurries off.

THE BRITISH FORCES AND THE CRIMEAN WAR.

PREPARATIONS FOR WAR.—I.

Officer (who is going to the East). "OF COURSE, IT'S RATHER A BORE JUST AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON—AND I SHALL MISS THE DERBY! WISH THEY COULD HAVE HAD THE RUSSIANS OVER HERE, BECAUSE THEN WE COULD HAVE THRASHED 'EM IN HYDE PARK, AND DINED AT GREENWICH AFTERWARDS, YOU KNOW."

PREPARATIONS FOR WAR.—II.

ENSIGN STUBBS, HAVING BEEN APPOINTED TO THE 121ST, GOES TO TRY ON HIS UNIFORM.

N.B.—The Gallant Ensign has hitherto been accustomed to dress in a loose, dégagé manner.

PREPARATIONS FOR WAR.—III.

DELIGHT OF ONE OF OUR GUARDS NOW HE FEELS THAT THE COUNTRY WILL PROTECT "THE GIRL HE LEAVES BEHIND HIM."

WELL INTENDED, NO DOUBT.

Quaker to British Lion. "THERE, FRIEND! NOW LET ME PUT AWAY THOSE DANGEROUS VANITIES!"

THE BRITISH FORCES AND THE CRIMEAN WAR.

Brother officers talking in the kitchen.

NOTHING LIKE FORETHOUGHT.

Captain (to Brother Officer). "WHAT AM I ABOUT? I'LL TELL YOU, OLD BOY. THERE'S NO KNOWING WHAT MAY HAPPEN, SO I AM LEARNING THE NOBLE ART OF MAKING OMELETTES, IN CASE ANYTHING SHOULD HAPPEN TO OUR CHEF!"

NO! DON'T.

"SO THEY ARE SENDING OUT BOOKS TO AMUSE THE POOR FELLOWS AT SCUTARI—AND VERY PROPER. I WILL SEND FIVE-AND-TWENTY COPIES OF MY LAST FIVE-ACT TRAGEDY OF 'THE ROMAN GRANDMOTHER."

ENTHUSIASM.

Inflamed Militia Man. "TALK O' TH' ROOSHANS! THERE! DANG'D IF I WOULDN'T MOW 'EM DOWN FOR A SHILLIN' AN ACRE!"

Recruiting sergeant talking to liveried servant.

ON DOMESTIC SERVICE.

Recruiting Sergeant. "COME, TAKE THE SHILLING LIKE A MAN, AND HAVE A TURN AT THE RUSSIANS IN THE CRIMEA."

Pampered Menial. "A—THANK YOU. I DON'T SEEM TO SEE IT. THE FACT IS—THAT—A—THE WORK IS 'ARD; AND—A—THE BOARD IS BAD."

THE BRITISH FORCES AND THE CRIMEAN WAR.

A LITTLE DINNER AT THE CRIMEA CLUB.

EVENING PARTY AT SEBASTOPOL.

THE BRITISH FORCES AND THE CRIMEAN WAR.

PATIENT HEROES.

"WELL, JACK! HERE'S GOOD NEWS FROM HOME. WE'RE TO HAVE A MEDAL." "THAT'S VERY KIND. MAYBE ONE OF THESE DAYS WE'LL HAVE A COAT TO STICK IT ON!"

Soldier sitting on the shoulders of a captive.

HOW JACK MADE THE TURK USEFUL AT BALACLAVA.

British Officer. "HOLLOA, JACK! WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT NOW?"

Jack. "WHY, YER HONOUR—YOU SEE RIDING'S A DEAL PLEASANTER THAN WALKING ABOUT HERE, AND WHEN THIS CHAP'S TIRED—I MOUNTS T'OTHER COVE!"

THE BRITISH FORCES AND THE CRIMEAN WAR.

A TRUMP CARD(IGAN).

THE CHARGE OF THE LIGHT BRIGADE UNDER LORD CARDIGAN AGAINST THE RUSSIAN BATTERIES AT BALACLAVA.

SHARP'S THE WORD.

ADMIRAL PUNCH'S SIGNAL TO THE FLEET.

UNIFORM STUPIDITY.

HOW TO DRESS A WARRIOR.

THE BRITISH FORCES AND THE CRIMEAN WAR.

HARD CASE IN THE BALTIC.

A. B. Seaman. "HERE'S A GO, BILL! YER MIGHT KNOCK ME DOWN WITH THE BUTT-END OF A MUSKIT, A'MOST! BLOW'D IF THE GAME AIN'T OVER, AND WE AIN'T HAD NO INNINGS!"

A GRIEVANCE.

"I TELL YER WHAT, BILL! I DON'T HALF LIKE THESE HERE MOUSTARCHERS. THEY DO MOP UP SUCH A LOT OF GROG!"

RELICS OF THE SIEGE.

Ben. "I SAY, JACK!—GIVE US A LIFT DOWN WITH THESE HERE BLOOD-STAINED RUINS FROM SEBASTERPOOL!"

THE BRITISH FORCES AND THE CRIMEAN WAR.

OUR GUARDS.

THEY CAN PLAY; AND, BY JOVE, THEY CAN FIGHT, TOO.

TRAINING-SCHOOL FOR LADIES ABOUT TO APPEAR AT COURT.

THE OPERA.—No. I.

Lizzy. "GOOD GRACIOUS SELINA! LOOK THERE! THERE'S THAT RIDICULOUS LITTLE MAN AGAIN. DID YOU EVER SEE ANYTHING SO ABSURD?"

Man looking up at the ladies in the box.

THE OPERA.—No. II.

Busby. "AH THERE SHE IS, BLESS HER! AND LOOKING THIS WAY TOO. OH! IT'S AS CLEAR AS POSSIBLE SHE HAS TAKEN A FANCY TO ME!"

THE BEST RUN OF THE SEASON.—No. I.

Master (with pumped-out Horse). "CONFOUND THAT RASCALLY BOY! WHERE CAN HE HAVE GOT TO WITH MY SECOND HORSE?"

THE BEST RUN OF THE SEASON.—No. II.

Rascally Boy (with delightfully fresh animal). "OH, DEAR! WHAT A BEAUTIFUL THING! I WONDER WHERE MASTER CAN BE?"

A BLACK INDIGNITY.

Lady of the House. "OH, THOMAS! HAVE THE GOODNESS TO TAKE UP SOME COALS INTO THE NURSERY!"

Thomas. "H'M, MA'AM! IF YOU ASK IT AS A FAVOUR, MA'AM, I DON'T SO MUCH OBJECT; BUT I 'OPE YOU DON'T TAKE ME FOR AN 'OUSEMAID, MA'AM!"

ART-PROGRESS.

Artist(!). "NOW, MUM! TAKE ORF YER 'EAD FOR SIXPENCE, OR YER 'OLE BODY FOR A SHILLIN'!"

FRATERNITY.

Fred. (affectionately taking the arm of his friend HARRY—as he thinks). "OH! DO LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIFUL DIAMONDS. HOW WELL THEY WOULD BECOME YOUR SWEET SISTER!"

Coal-heaver. "COME NOW! WALKER!"

Man admiring his reflection in a mirror.

PRIVATE OPINION.

Little Shrimpton. "HAH! THEY MAY LAUGH! BUT I MEAN TO SAY THAT THE BEARD IS A GREAT ORNAMENT, AND GIVES DIGNITY TO THE HUMAN FIGURE!"

THE OLD OLD STORY.

IT WAS IN AUGUST OR SEPTEMBER, WE FORGET WHICH, THAT AMELIA'S SCARF CAUGHT HENRY'S BUTTON, AND NOW—THEY ARE MARRIED. WASN'T IT ODD?

THE BEARD MOVEMENT.

"HOLLO, 'ENERY! IS THAT YOU? WHY I HARDLY KNOW'D YER WITH THAT GREAT BEARD!"

VARIETIES IN HORSE-TAMING.—No. I.

OLD MR. B. HAS FOUND OUT THAT THE OIL OF RHODIUM SYSTEM IS ALL NONSENSE, AND HAS BEEN INITIATED BY MR. RAREY. WHENEVER HE GETS SPILT, AND LOSES HIS HAT (AS HE DID THE VERY LAST DAY OF THE SEASON), HE JUST SAYS TO HIS HORSE, "FETCH IT, OLD BOY!" AND THE THING IS DONE!

VARIETIES IN HORSE-TAMING.—No. II.

OUR DEAR OLD FRIEND BRIGGS—HAVING TAKEN THE RECEIPT FOR HORSE-TAMING FROM THE PAPERS—TRIES SOME EXPERIMENTS UPON AN ANIMAL THAT HE HAS PICKED UP A BARGAIN.

Collapsed carriage with portly passenger.

AN INCIDENT OF WEIGHT.

Cabby. "LET YER OUT?—THAT'S A GOOD UN!—NOT AFORE YOU PAYS FOR BREAKING MY SPRINGS!"

ASTOUNDING ANNOUNCEMENT.

Maid. "PLEASE, MA'AM, MR. SKEWER SAYS HE'S A-GOING TO KILL HISSELF THIS WEEK, AND WILL YOU HAVE A JOINT?"

A VERY SHOCKING BOY, INDEED!

Mamma. "NOW, SIR—IF YOU DON'T BEHAVE BETTER, I WILL TELL PAPA OF YOU, AND HE WILL BOX YOUR EARS!"

Shocking Boy. "WELL, THEN, GO! MARCH!! AND SHUT THE DOOR AFTER YOU!!!"

A FADED YOUTH.

Hostess. "NOW, MY DEAR—WILL YOU COME AND DANCE A QUADRILLE?"

Juvenile. "THA-A-NK YOU—IT'S SO MANY YEARS AGO SINCE I DANCED, THAT I WOULD RATHER BE EXCUSED, IF YOU PLEASE. IN FACT, I—AW, I HAVEN'T DANCED SINCE I WAS QUITE A BOY."

IN THE PARK.

First Man (Home for the Holidays). "AWFUL BIT OF GERANIUM THAT, CHARLEY!"

Second Ditto. "YA-AS, I WAS ALWAYS VERY FOND OF FLOWERS—AW—THEY LOOK SO JOLLY INNOCENT!"

IN THE STREETS.

THESE YOUNG GENTLEMEN ARE NOT INDULGING IN THE FILTHY HABIT OF SMOKING.—THEY ARE ONLY CHEWING TOOTHPICKS, THE COMFORTING AND ELEGANT PRACTICE NOW SO MUCH IN VOGUE.

Man standing between two crinolined ladies.

CRINOLINE AGAIN.

Charles. "CONFOUND THE HOOPS, JUST WHEN I WANT TO MAKE MY NEAT SPEECH ABOUT BEING 'NEARER AND DEARER' TOO!"

Two nursemaids window gazing ignoring children

A HINT TO MAMMAS.

First Nursemaid. "LAWK, MARIER! WHAT A BEE-UTIFLE GOWND!"

Second Do. "MY! JANE! HAIN'T IT?"

They contemplate the Gownd for about a quarter of an hour, and the Children have the full benefit of the delicious North-East Wind.

THE ROUND HAT.

1. WHEN IT IS ALL VERY WELL. 2. WHEN IT IS OBJECTIONABLE. 3. WHEN THE POLICE OUGHT TO INTERFERE.

TAKING IT EASY.

JOHN THOMAS, AS HE APPEARED WHILE HIS MISSUS WAS IN THE BOTANICAL GARDENS. J. T. IS CONSULTING HIS BETTING BOOK. (A POSITIVE FACT.)

PROFESSIONAL DIGNITY.

Lady. "RESIGN YOUR SITUATION! WHY, WHAT'S WRONG NOW, THOMAS? HAVE THEY BEEN WANTING YOU TO EAT SALT BUTTER AGAIN?"

Genteel Footman. "OH, NO, THANK YOU, MA'AM—BUT THE FACT IS, MA'AM—THAT I HAVE HEARD THAT MASTER WERE SEEN LAST WEEK ON THE TOP OF A HOMNIBUS, AND I COULDN'T AFTER THAT REMAIN ANY LONGER IN THE FAMILY!"

NEVER CARRY YOUR GLOVES IN YOUR HAT.

MR. POFFINGTON FLATTERS HIMSELF HE IS CREATING A SENSATION—(Perhaps he is.)

ACADEMIC COSTUME.

Dr. Bear. "PUT ON YOUR GOWN, SIR."

Undergraduate. "GOT IT ON, SIR!"

Sisters wearing plain dresses, all others in crinolines.

MORE NOVELTY.

THE MISSES WEASEL THINK CRINOLINE A PREPOSTEROUS AND EXTRAVAGANT INVENTION, AND APPEAR AT MRS. ROUNDABOUT'S PARTY IN A SIMPLE AND ELEGANT ATTIRE.

FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS.

"MARTHA, WAST 'E DONE WI' THE MILK?"

"GEEN IT TO THE SHILD."

"DANG THE SHILD, THEE SHOULD HA' GEEN IT TO TH' BULL PUP!"

A DISTURBER OF PUBLIC PEACE.

Rioter. "I SAY, OLD FELLER, OF COURSE YOU'LL FRATERNISE WITH US, AND COME AND BREAK SOME VINDERS."

Soldier. "OF COURSE I WON'T; BUT I'LL PUNCH YOUR HEAD IF YOU DONT MOVE OFF."

UNLUCKY THIS TIME.

Ingenious Youth. "OH! SUCH A LARK, BILL! I'VE BIN AND FILLED AN OLD COVE'S LETTER-BOX WITH GOOSEBERRY SKINS AND HOYSTER SHELLS,—AND RAPPED LIKE A POSTMAN!"

Old Cove. "HAVE YOU?"

GOOD NEWS.

"WELL, JIM, HAVE YOU HEARD THE LATEST INTELLIGENCE?"

"NO, VAT IS IT?"

"VY, COMMON GARDEN THEAYTER'S TO BE TURNED INTO A HOPERA FOR THE MILLION! AIN'T THAT PRIME?"

RATHER DEEP!

Cousin. "CHARLIE!—JUST FANCY WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING!"

Captain Charlie. "WELL, GEORGIE!"

Cousin. "THAT—THAT—YOU AND I ARE GOING—A—A—TO BE—MARRIED!"

Charlie (with presence of mind). "A—NEVER MIND, GEORGIE,—WE KNOW BETTER—WE ARE NOT SO FOOLISH!"

Boy speaking to large lady facing an approaching herd of cattle

AMPLE PROTECTION.

Youth. "YOU NEEDN'T BE AFRAID, MA'AM. STAND BEHIND ME!"

Distaught daughter talking to her mother.

JUST LIKE 'EM.

Mamma (staying with newly-married daughter). "MY DEAREST, SWEETEST DARLING! WHAT! CRYING! WHY, WHAT'S THE MATTER?"

Daughter (with many sobs). "OH, M-M-M-MAMMA DEAR! HERE'S CH-CH-CH-CHARLES SO DREADFULLY UNKIND. HE KNOWS THE H-H-HORSE-TAMING SECRET, AND HE W-W-W-WON'T TELL IT TO ME!"

RIVAL JOCKEYS.

Bill (reads). "'GENTLEMEN RIDERS ALLOWED FIVE POUNDS.'"

Tom. "'ALLOWED FIVE POUNDS!' WHY, I'D RIDE BETTER NOR HE FOR 'ARF A CROWN!"

SYMPTOMS OF HARD READING!

Student. "OH, MARY! HAVE YOU TAKEN UP THE LAMP AND THE CIGARS?"

Mary. "YES, SIR."

Student. "—AND THE WHISKEY, AND THE SUGAR, AND THE LEMON, AND BOILING WATER?"

Mary. "YES, SIR."

Student. "THEN COME, JACK! SUPPOSE WE GO INTO THE STUDY!"

REPELLING FOREIGN INVASION.

PATERFAMILIAS TRIES THE COLD WATER CURE IN A CASE OF ORGAN-GRINDING.

ANOTHER BIT FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS.

First Collier. "SURREY, DUST THEE KNOW THE BISHOP'S COMING TO-MORROW?"

Second Do. "WOT'S THAT?"

First Do. (emphatically). "THE BISHOP!"

Second Do. "OI DON'T KNOW WHAT THEE MEAN'ST, BUT MOY BITCH, ROSE, SHALL PIN HER!"

Rough looking man offering to sell a dog, obviously someones pet.

CANINE.

"BUY A LITTLE DORG, MARM?"

Threatening men selling a form of prayer.

WHERE ARE THE POLICE?

A SKETCH, SHOWING THE DECENT MANNER IN WHICH THE "FORM OF PRAYER" WAS RETAILED ON THE FAST DAY.

COARSE, BUT CHARACTERISTIC.

Cabman (whose temper has been ruffled by Omnibus-man). "YOU!! WHY, YOU HUNGRY LOOKING WAGABUN, YOU LOOK AS IF YOU'D BIN LOCKED UP FOR A MONTH IN A COOK'S SHOP WITH A MUZZLE ON."

THE GREAT BOON.

Superior Being (!). "YOU'LL PLEASE TO OBSERVE, MUM, THAT A DIWORCE IS A MUCH EASIER MATTER THAN IT USED TO BE—SO NONE OF YOUR VIOLENCE!"

Old crone speaking to mother holding a child.

A VISION OF THE PAST.

Old Lady. "AH! I WAS JUST SUCH ANOTHER WHEN I WAS HER AGE."

FOLLY AND INNOCENCE.

Charles. "I SAY, CLARA, AIN'T IT JOLLY? I'VE MADE SUCH A CAPITAL BOOK ON THE DERBY!"

Clara. "I AM SURE, CHARLES, I AM DELIGHTED TO HEAR IT. ANY LITERARY PURSUIT MUST BE BETTER THAN THE HORRID PRACTICE YOU WERE GETTING INTO OF BETTING AT RACES!"

Boy talking to person riding on rear of a carriage.

IRRESISTIBLE.

John Thomas. "GET AWAY, BOY—GET AWAY, BOY!"

Boy. "SHAN'T! AND IF YER DON'T LET ME RIDE, I'LL SEND THIS 'ERE MUD OVER YER CALVES!"

Man being interviewed for a servant position.

DRAWING THE LINE.

Plush Adonis. "I SHOULD OBSERVE, MY LADY,—THAT IF YOU ENGAGE ME, I SHOULD REQUIRE TO BE AT LEAST SIX MONTHS IN TOWN, IN A GOOD NEIGHBOURHOOD—AND THAT IF YOU SHOULD AT ANY TIME LIVE NORTH OF THE NEW ROAD, I SHOULD EXPECT FIVE GUINEAS PER ANNUM INCREASE OF SALARY!"

[Fact.

YIELDING TO TEMPTATION.

Mr. Hobble-de-Hoye. "I'M VERY FOND OF 'EM—THERE'S NO ONE LOOKING!—DON'T SEE WHY I SHOULDN'T—I WILL!—YES—I'LL HAVE A PENN'ORTH!"

MUCH ABOVE THAT SORT OF THING.

Lady of the house speaking to latecomer.

SERVE HIM RIGHT.

Swell (who, when he is asked to dine at half-past six, thinks it fine to come at half-past eight). "HAW! I'M AFRAID YOU'VE BEEN WAITING DINNAW FOR ME!"

Lady of the House. "OH DEAR, NO! WE HAVE DINED SOME TIME; WILL YOU TAKE SOME TEA?"

Children sparring wearing boxing gloves.

PHYSICAL EDUCATION.

A CONSULTATION.

Veterinary Surgeon. "LEGS QUEER, SIR! DO YOU 'ACK 'IM OR 'UNT 'IM?"

Proprietor of Quadruped. "I HUNT HIM SOMETIMES, BUT I MOSTLY USE HIM AS A HACK."

Veterinary Surgeon. "AH, SIR, THAT'S WHERE IT IS. IT AIN'T THE 'UNTING AS 'URTS 'IM, IT'S THE 'AMMER, 'AMMER, 'AMMER ALONG THE 'ARD 'IGH ROAD!"

THE STREET ACROBAT NUISANCE.

UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT HE IS UNOBSERVED, MR. PUDDLE OFFERS HIS HAND AND HEART TO THE OBJECT OF HIS AFFECTIONS.

Two rough looking men talking to photographer.

PHOTOGRAPHIC BEAUTIES.

"I SAY, MISTER, HERE'S ME AND MY MATE WANTS OUR FOTERGRUFFS TOOK; AND MIND, WE WANTS 'EM 'ANSOM, COS THEY'RE TO GIVE TO TWO LADIES."

EQUINE.

Dealer. "THERE! I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO FIND A FAULT WITH HIM!"

Customer. "BUT HE'S GOT SUCH A BEASTLY TAIL!"

Dealer. "BEASTLY TAIL! THERE NEVER WAS A BAD RAT-TAILED 'OSS. WHY, WE GO MILES TO FIND 'EM!"

PLEASING PROSPECT.

Friend from Town. "WELL! AND HOW'S THE MARE?"

Country Friend. "OH! ALL RIGHT, OLD BOY! SHE WILL BE AS FRESH AS PAINT FOR YOU TO-MORROW, FOR SHE HASN'T BEEN HUNTED SINCE THE DAY SHE PUT FRANK RAILER'S SHOULDER OUT!"

WHY NOT?

THE GREAT MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.—FAIR PLAY FOR THE BAKER.

A STARTLING NOVELTY IN SHIRTS.

Father of a new baby preparing his own meals.

AN OBJECT OF UNIVERSAL SYMPATHY.

MR. PEEWIT HAS A LITTLE ADDITION TO HIS FAMILY—HE IS OBLIGED TO GET HIS MEALS ANYHOW—

AND—

ABDICATES IN FAVOUR OF THE REAL MASTER OF THE HOUSE.

Man whitewashing the legs of a line of troops.

A HINT TO THE AUTHORITIES.

AN ECONOMICAL MODE OF PUTTING TROOPS INTO WHITE TROUSERS.

DELUSIVE NOTION.

THE YOUNG GENT WHO IS GOING TO MAKE A RAPID FORTUNE BY BETTING.

A SCENE AT A RAILWAY STATION.

Groom. "BEG PARDON, SIR,—BUT WOS YOUR NAME TOMKINS?"

Tomkins. "YES!"

Groom. "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, MASTER SAYS HE WOS WERRY SORRY AS HE COULDN'T SEND THE FEEATON—BUT, AS HIS YOUNG 'OSS WANTED EXERCISE, HE THOUGHT YOU WOULDN'T MIND RIDIN' OF 'IM."

[TOMKINS bursts into a cold perspiration.

Lady in crinoline trying to board a carriage with a narrow door.

THE UNFITNESS OF THINGS.

Impudent Boy. "I SAY, BILL! COME AND SEE THE CONJURING—HERE'S THIS HERE GAL A GOIN' TO SQUEEZE HERSELF INTO THAT THERE BROOM!"

Man reading, and sister with small children.

PLEASANT FOR "CHARLES DEAR."

Married Sister. "OH, CHARLES DEAR! NURSE IS NOT VERY WELL, AND AS I MUST STAY WITH BABY, WOULD YOU TAKE FREDDY AND THE TWO LITTLE ONES FOR A WALK, ONLY CARRY THEM OVER THE CROSSINGS, THAT'S A DEAR!"

Man being restrained from attacking carol singer.

TOO MUCH!

Party (who hates bad music in the middle of the night). "WH-A-T!! THE WAITS! CALLED FOR A CHRISTMAS BOX!—STOP A BIT!!"——

[The rest is too terrible.

MARRY ON £300 A-YEAR!

Passer-by (to the Crossing-Sweeper). "WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?"

Sweeper. "WELL, SIR, I BELIEVE IT'S A KIND OF WEDDING; BUT IT AIN'T LIKELY TO BE AN 'APPY UNION—ONLY TWO BROUGHAMS AND A HACK CAB!"

Man having his necktie tied by his housemaid.

AN OBJECT OF SINCERE PITY.

OFFENDED DIGNITY.

Small Swell (who has just finished a Quadrille). "H'M, THANK GOODNESS, THAT'S OVER! DON'T GIVE ME YOUR BREAD-AND-BUTTER MISSES TO DANCE WITH. I LIKE YOUR GROWN WOMEN OF THE WORLD!"—(N.B. The bread-and-butter Miss has asked him how old he was, and when he went back to School.)

VERY LARGE NOTIONS.

Man of the World. "WHAT RUBBISH ALL THIS IS ABOUT MARRYING ON £300 A-YEAR! WHY, IT AIN'T ENOUGH TO BUY A FELLAH CIGARS!"

A wet dog pulling at a tablecloth during a hunt breakfast.

AN UNWELCOME VISITOR.

TALK OF A MAD DOG, INDEED!—WHAT'S THAT TO A WET ISLE OF SKYE TERRIER UNDER THE BREAKFAST TABLE ON A HUNTING MORNING, AMONGST THE NICE CLEAN TOPS AND BUCKSKINS?

[A Favourite Lawn Meet—and not a moment to spare.

JUVENILE WISDOM.

Florence. "——AND HOW OLD IS YOUR PONY, FRED?"

Fred. "WELL, I DON'T KNOW, EXACTLY—BUT ROBERT THINKS HE IS ABOUT FOURTEEN YEARS!"

Florence. "OH!—THEN I SUPPOSE HE WILL VERY SOON BE A HORSE!"

SNOWED UP.

POOR FELLOWS! THEY CAN'T GET ANY HUNTING, AND ARE OBLIGED TO PLAY AT SCRATCH CRADLE WITH THEIR COUSINS.

Two boys talking whilst riding their horses.

A WEIGHTY MATTER.

Frederic (a very big boy). "THAT'S A NICEISH PONY OF YOURS, CHARLEY.—BY THE BYE, HOW HEAVY ARE YOU?"

Charley. "WELL, WITHIN A POUND OF THREE STONE, I'M SORRY TO SAY."

Frederic. "OH, I CALL THAT A NICE WEIGHT. NOW, I'M OBLIGED TO HAVE VERY EXPENSIVE PONIES, FOR, WITH SADDLE AND BRIDLE, I DON'T RIDE LESS THAN FOUR STONE TWO!"

A GOOD LIVER.

Frank. "I SAY, GRANDPA! HAVEN'T YOU GOT SOME CHAPS COMING TO GRUB WITH YOU TO-DAY?"

Grandpa. "EH! WHAT? SOME GENTLEMEN ARE COMING TO DINE WITH ME TO-DAY, SIR, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU MEAN!"

Frank. "HAH! SAME THING! WELL, LOOK HERE! YOUR COOK ISN'T A GREAT HAND AT A SALAD—NOW THAT'S A THING I FLATTER MYSELF I UNDERSTAND BETTER THAN MOST MEN—SO, IF YOU LIKE, I'LL MIX YOU ONE!"

THE OLD FOXHUNTER.

Flora. "WELL, RONALD! AND HOW DO YOU LIKE ROTTEN ROW?"

Ronald. "OH, PRETTY WELL; BUT IT'S RATHER SLOW WORK TO A MAN WHO HAS BEEN ACCUSTOMED TO GO ACROSS COUNTRY AS I HAVE ALL MY LIFE!"

Master at table with servant waiting on.

MELANCHOLY.

Lord Eustace (a young Nobleman in love). "TELL ME, THOMPSON, ARE THOSE THE BIRDS?"

Thompson (his confidential Servant). "YES, MY LORD."

Eust. "THEY ARE YOUNG?"

Thomp. "THEY ARE, MY LORD."

Eust. "AND THE WINE?"

Thomp. "LAFITTE—44, MY LORD."

Eust. "YOU HAVE DRAWN THE CURTAINS?"

Thomp. "EVEN SO, MY LORD."

Eust. "AND YOU HAVE PLACED SOME COALS UPON THE FIRE?"

Thomp. "MY LORD, THIS MOMENT I HAVE DONE SO."

Eust. "THEN—THEN—LEAVE ME!!"

[And his Lordship pegs away at the Birds, drinks a Bottle of Claret, and feels all the better.

OUT OF THE FASHION.

"WHY, FWED!—WHAWT'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR LEGS?"

"WHY, YOU SEE, PEG-TOP TROUSERS ARE GETTING SO COMMON, I'M GOING TO GIVE NATURE A CHANCE!"

REMARKABLE OCCURRENCE.

ON THE MORNING AFTER THE DISPENSARY BALL, AS EMILY DEUXTEMPS AND CLARA POLKINGTON WERE SITTING IN THE PLANTATION, WHO SHOULD COME TO THE VERY SPOT BUT CAPTAIN FASTMAN AND YOUNG REGINALD FIPPS!

Lady slipping a note into a vase of flowers.

"BLESS YOU! BLESS YOU!"

WHO WILL SERVE THE COUNTRY?

Recruiting Sergeant. "NOW, BRAVE BOYS, WITH THOSE WHISKERS AND SHOULDERS, YOU SHOULD BE WITH US, AND—I'M SURE THE LADIES WOULD EXCUSE YOU!"

WE'LL SERVE THE SHOP!

Nurse ignoring babies whilst talking to soldier.

SERVANTGALISM;

AND

FINELADYISM.

First Elegant Mamma. "HOW SHOCKING THIS IS!—THE WAY NURSERYMAIDS NEGLECT THE CHILDREN!"

Second Do. "YES, DEAR! AND I DON'T SEE THAT ANYTHING CAN BE DONE. FOR WHAT WITH PARTIES, AND THE TIME ONE NATURALLY DEVOTES TO DRESSING, AND THE NUMEROUS CALLS ONE HAS TO MAKE, ONE CAN'T LOOK AFTER ONE'S OWN CHILDREN, YOU KNOW!"

THE ADVENT OF SPRING.

"THE DEAR GIRLS REALLY MUST HAVE SOME NEW BONNETS, FOR THEY CANNOT POSSIBLY WEAR THOSE NASTY, SHABBY, DIRTY, OLD WINTER THINGS ANY LONGER."

THE VALENTINE.

Little Foot Page. "I SAY, MARIA, WHAT'S A RHYME TO CUPID?"

Maria. "WHY, STUPID RHYMES TO CUPID—DON'T IT, STUPID?"

TASTE.

Shop-girl (who has been expected to possess TENNYSON'S "Miller's Daughter"). "NO, MISS! WE'VE NOT GOT THE MILLER'S BUT HERE'S THE RATCATCHER'S DAUGHTER, JUST PUBLISHED!!"

INSULTING A REFUGEE.

Rude Boy. "OH CRIKEY, BILL, IF 'ERE AIN'T THE GREAT ORANGOUTANG BEEN TO A TAILOR, AND GOT RIGGED OUT AS A SWELL!"

Very large lady wanting to ride a horse.

A SKETCH FROM THE STAND AT SCARBORO'.

Fair Equestrian. "OH! I WANT TO RIDE ON THE SANDS WITH THIS LITTLE BOY.—HAVE YOU A HORSE DISENGAGED FOR HIM? ANY BIT OF A PONY THING, YOU KNOW, WILL DO FOR ME!"

Ladies in crinoline dresses facing a narrow door.

A WHOLESOME CONCLUSION.

Lady Crinoline. "YES, LOVE—A VERY PRETTY CHURCH, BUT THE DOOR IS CERTAINLY VERY NARROW!"

INTERESTING GROUP POSED FOR A PHOTOGRAPH

BY A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY.

Man and wife with seven children, but picture blurred.

INTERESTING AND VALUABLE RESULT.

OLD BOYS.

Old Boy (loq.). "OH, SHE'S A CHARMING GYUIRL, AND, UPON MY SAUL! I THINK SHE LIKES ME AMAZINGLY!"

VERY ALARMING, INDEED.

Professional Man.—"AH! IT'S VERY LUCKY YOU CAME TO ME IN TIME.—YOU SEE, MA'AM, YOU HAVE HAD INFLAMMATION OF THE BRONCHIAL TUBES, WHICH, ACTING UPON THE FLEXOR LONGUS DIGITORUM PEDIS, HAS OCCASIONED AN ABRASION OF THE DIGASTRICUS, OR, AS SOME CALL IT, THE BIVENTER MAXILLÆ INFERIORIS; AND WHICH MIGHT HAVE ENDED IN CONFIRMED DELIRIUM TREMENS, OR EVEN PREMATURE ELEPHANTIASIS. HOWEVER, I DARESAY, &c., &c., &c.

[Old Lady gasps for breath.

POLITENESS AS IN PARIS.

(A Perfidious Misrepresentation, of course.)

IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FLATTERY.

Jules (who affects English manners and customs). "GOOD—A—BY, OLE BOY! I GO TO MAKE A PROMENADE IN MY TO-CAR."

(Which being interpreted means that Jules is going for a drive in his Dog-Cart.)

Very obese man instructed to jump over a stick

VERY ODD!

Lecturer on Electro-Biology. "NOW, SIR! YOU CAN'T JUMP OVER THAT STICK! AHEM!"

Subject. "JUMP? EH! UGH! LOR BLESS ME, JUMP! NO, I KNOW I CAN'T—NEVER COULD JUMP—UGH!"

[Thunders of applause from the Gentlemen in the cane-bottom chairs—(i.e. believers).

A TENDER POINT.

Irish Jarvie (with much excitement). "NOT FAST ENOUGH! IS IT? OH THIN, YER 'ONOR, JIST JUMP UP, TILL I TIRRIFY YE THE WAY I'LL ROWL ALONG!"

STUMPED OUT.

Apothecary's Boy (to party rather proud of his Horsemanship). "I SAY, MISTER, MIND WHAT YOU'RE AT, OR YOU'LL BE OFF THE SHOPBOARD!"

A GENEROUS OFFER.

Small Sweeper (to Crimean Hero). "NOW, CAPTAIN, GIVE US A COPPER, AND I'LL SEE YER SAFE OVER THE CROSSING!"

Man, with umbrella, being rowed in a boat by two girls.

NOT A BAD IDEA FOR WARM WEATHER.

Frederick. "NOW, GIRLS, PULL AWAY—DON'T BE IDLE!"

A QUIET LOOK AT THE COUNTRY.

Frank. "THERE, CHARLEY! WE HAVE A GOOD MANY OF THOSE LITTLE DOUBLES HERE; BUT, BLESS YOU! OUR HORSES THINK NOTHING OF 'EM!"

Charley (who is not to be beaten). "HA, I SEE!—NICE CLEAN JUMPING! NOW, IN OUR COUNTRY THE FENCES ARE BIG AND CRAMPED!"

PATERFAMILIAS HAS HIS HOLIDAY AT THE SEA-SIDE— —

WHILST

Several generations of the same family enjoying the town house.

: — — A RESPECTABLE ELDERLY FEMALE TAKES CARE OF THE HOUSE IN TOWN.

Elderly female with wide skirt and wearing a hat.

PLEASING DELUSION. IN RE THE ROUND HATS.

Female. "WELL! THERE CAN BE NO QUESTION ABOUT ONE THING!—THEY CERTAINLY DO MAKE YOU LOOK YOUNGER!"

THE ROUND HAT AGAIN.

Mrs. Popps. "WELL, WHAT I SAY IS, THEY ARE VERY BECOMING—AND UNCOMMON COMFORTABLE?"

OH! WHAT A HUMBUG!

Amelia. "MAMMA, DEAR! HERE'S A NOTE FROM DEAR WILLIAM, WITH A BOX FOR THE OPERA, I SHOULDN'T WONDER." (Reads):—"My darling Amelia, Circumstances over which I have no control will take me as far as Greenwich. I have left my Latch-key—please to get it from the Waistcoat I took off, and send it by the Bearer to your ever affectionate Kidums."

A PEACE CONFERENCE.

Flora. "OH, I AM SO GLAD—DEAR HARRIET—THERE IS A CHANCE OF PEACE—I AM MAKING THESE SLIPPERS AGAINST DEAR ALFRED COMES BACK!"

Cousin Tom. "HAH, WELL!—I AIN'T QUITE SO ANXIOUS ABOUT PEACE—FOR, YOU SEE, SINCE THOSE SOLDIER CHAPS HAVE BEEN ABROAD, WE CIVILIANS HAVE HAD IT PRETTY MUCH OUR OWN WAY WITH THE GURLS!"

A POSER.

Darling. "OH, MAMMA, DEAR! WHAT SPLENDID FLOWERS!"

Mamma. "YES, DEAR, PUT IT DOWN. THAT IS MY WREATH. I'M GOING TO THE OPERA!"

Darling. "OH! AND WHEN I GROW A BIG LADY, MAY I WEAR A WREATH, AND GO TO THE OPERA?"

Mamma. "WELL, DEAR, I HOPE SO!"

Darling. "WHAT, AND TAKE MY BEAUTIFUL VELVET AND GOLD CHURCH SERVICE UNCLE CHARLES GAVE ME?"

THE PICNIC.—OVERTAKEN BY THE TIDE.

AN OBJECT OF ATTRACTION.

BOWKER, WHO IS FOND OF NICE THINGS FOR BREAKFAST, AND SOMETIMES MARKETS FOR HIMSELF, BECOMES AN OBJECT OF INTEREST FROM HAVING LAID IN A FEW BLOATERS, AND HALF-A-POUND OF FRESH CAMBRIDGE SAUSAGES, FROM BOND STREET—AND WHICH SAUSAGES AND BLOATERS ARE IN HIS COAT-POCKET.

A STRONG-BACKED CAR. SCENE—IRELAND.

Tourist. "WELL, BUT MY GOOD FELLOW, YOU CAN'T CARRY US, AND ALL OUR LUGGAGE!"

Car Driver. "OGH, NIVER FEAR, YER 'ONOUR, SHURE I'D CARRY TWICED AS MUCH!"

THE NEW PURCHASE.

Mr. Muff. "BUT—THEY SAID HE WAS WELL KNOWN IN THIS HUNT!"

Farmer. "OH, YES—AND SO HE IS VERY WELL KNOWN. HE'S BROKE MORE COLLAR BONES THAN ALL THE 'OSSES IN ENGLAND."

AQUATIC MANOEUVRES.

BY MUCH THE PLEASANTEST WAY OF SEA-BATHING IS TO TAKE A BOAT, AND HAVE A GOOD SWIM IN THE CLEAR BLUE WATER—AND ISN'T IT NICE SCRAMBLING INTO THE BOAT AGAIN! EH?

A PAINFUL SUBJECT.

Lieutenant Fopson (of the 121st, to his Elder Brother, who is home for the Holidays).—"A-SAY, OLD FELLAH!—DON'T YOU WISH YOU HAD LEFT SCHOOL?—IT MUST BE SUCH A HORRID BAW TO BE FLOGGED FOR SMOKING!"

THE NEW REGULATION MESS.

Swell Soldier. "WHAT, DINE OFF WOAST AND BOILED, JUST LIKE SNOBS—NO!—BY JOVE!—I SHALL CUT THE ARMY, AND GO INTO THE CHURCH!"

THE GREAT TOBACCO CONTROVERSY.

Clara (emphatically). "I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, FRANK—I SHALL ALWAYS THINK IT A NASTY, ODIOUS, DIRTY, FILTHY, DISGUSTING, AND MOST OBJECTIONABLE HABIT!"

Frank. "HAW!—NOW, I'M REALLY SURPRISED, CLARA, TO HEAR SUCH A CLEVER GIRL AS YOU ARE RUNNING DOWN SMOKING IN SUCH STRONG LANGUAGE—FOR IT'S ADMITTED, BY ALL SENSIBLE PEOPLE, YOU KNOW, THAT IT'S THE ABUSE OF TOBACCO THAT'S WRONG!"

[Which little bit of sophistry completely vanquishes CLARA.

AT PARIS.

A SKETCH FROM THE BOULEVARD.

A YOUTHFUL SAGE.

Studious Boy. "JOHNNY!—I ADVISE YOU NOT TO BE A GOOD BOY!"

Johnny. "WHY?"

Studious Boy. "BECAUSE IN BOOKS ALL GOOD BOYS DIE, YOU KNOW!"

Man shaving whilst speaking to his brother.

ASTONISHING A YOUNG ONE.

Dick (to little Brother). "HAH! THIS IS ONE OF THE DISAGREEABLES IN BEING GROWN UP. WHY, BLESS YOU, IF I DIDN'T SHAVE TWICE A DAY THIS WARM WEATHER, I SHOULD NOT BE FIT TO BE SEEN!"

Boy with giant dragonflies on his fishing rod.

MONSTERS OF THE POOL.

MASTER GEORGE AND THE DRAGON-FLIES. AS THEY APPEARED TO HIS EXCITED IMAGINATION WHEN HE WAS OUT FISHING THE OTHER DAY.

THE HUMOURS OF THE STREET.

Delightful Boy. "OH! LOOK 'ERE, JIM! HERE'S A SWELL—LET'S FRIGHTEN 'IS 'ORSE!"

Man viewing his hair after falling asleep at the barber shop.

CAUTION TO TRAVELLERS.

NEVER GO TO SLEEP WHILE YOU ARE HAVING YOUR HAIR CUT IN PARIS, OR IT MAY BE CUT IN THE FIRST STYLE OF FASHION!

Arriving on shore after a rough passage.

EXCURSION BOAT, AFTER A RATHER BOISTEROUS PASSAGE, ARRIVES AT 2.30 P.M.

Ticket Collector (without any feeling). "TICKETS, SIR! THANKYE, SIR! BOAT RETURNS AT 3!"

Boys tormenting defenceless billboard carrier.

"TICKLED WITH A STRAW."

Advertising Medium. "COME, NOW, YOU LEAVE ORF! OR I'LL CALL THE PERLICE!"

Soldier holding a foaming jug looked at by man.

IMPERTINENT CURIOSITY.

Military Man. "WELL! WHAT ARE YER A STARIN' AT?—AIN'T YER NEVER SEED A SODGER BEFORE?"

IN CAMP.

Juvenile (à propos of Highlander in sentry-box). "OH! MY WIG, CHARLEY, WHAT A JOLLY JACK-IN-THE-GREEN HE'D MAKE!"

SANITAS.

"HEY, COLIN! DINNA YE KEN THE WATTER'S FOR DRINK, AND NAE FOR BATHIN'?"

Man found near open door by dancing partener.

THE QUADRILLE IN HOT WEATHER.

Stout Party (who suffers much from heat, and has in vain attempted to conceal himself). "OH, I BELIEVE WE ARE ENGAGED FOR THIS DANCE. I'VE BEEN—THAT IS—I'VE—EH?—I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU—A—A—EVERYWHERE—PHEW!"

Insignificant man rejected in favour of more handsome prospect.

OH YES, OF COURSE.

Lizzie. "OH, MR. POFFLES, I FIND I HAVE MADE A MISTAKE—I SEE I WAS ENGAGED FOR THIS DANCE."

FEMININE AMENITIES.

Sensitive Party. "WHO IS THAT GIRL WITH THE NEZ RETROUSSÉ?"

Amiable Party (who has rather a prominent beak). "NEZ RETROUSSÉ! DO YOU MEAN THAT GIRL WITH THE PUG NOSE?"

A LITTLE SURPRISE FOR MUGGINS.

"LARK! I SAY! WHAT'LL MY OLD MAN THINK WHEN HE SEE ME IN THIS 'ERE 'AT?"

Group of ladies looking at man caring for a baby.

HUSBAND-TAMING.

RESULT OF ALLOWING LADIES TO WITNESS RAREY'S HORSE-TAMING EXHIBITION.

Mrs. Blanch. "I ASSURE YOU, MY LOVE, HE IS COMPLETELY UNDER MY CONTROL. HE NEVER TALKS NOW OF SUCH A THING AS GOING TO HIS CLUB OR DINING AT GREENWICH WITH HIS BACHELOR FRIENDS, AND HE WILL READ TO ME WHILE I WORK FOR THE HOUR TOGETHER."

Mrs. Catherine. "OH, I MUST CERTAINLY LEARN THE ART. FOR MY AUGUSTUS IS REALLY DREADFUL!"

THE LOVERS' QUARREL.

Frederick. "BUT I ASSURE YOU, DEAREST——"

Emily. "OH, NONSENSE, FREDERICK!—DON'T TELL ME! I JUDGE BY DEEDS, NOT WORDS; AND I AM SURE YOU CANNOT REALLY LOVE ME, OR YOU NEVER WOULD HAVE GIVEN THAT HORRID MISS CLAPPERTON THE WING OF THE CHICKEN, AND ME THE LEG. BESIDES, YOU HANDED THE STRAWBERRIES FIRST TO FLORA GIGGLES, AND YOU KNOW HOW I HATE HER."

Lady with crinoline blown over her head in high wind.

A SKETCH DURING THE RECENT GALE.

Lady trying to pick up fish with fire tongs.

TERRIFIC ACCIDENT.

BURSTING OF OLD MRS. TWADDLE'S AQUA-VIVARIUM. THE OLD LADY MAY BE OBSERVED ENDEAVOURING TO PICK UP HER FAVOURITE EEL WITH THE TONGS, A WORK REQUIRING SOME ADDRESS.

THE MARRIAGE QUESTION.

Lady Flora. "FOUR-IN-HAND CLUB, INDEED! FOR MY PART, I THINK YOUNG MEN OF FORTUNE MIGHT EMPLOY THEIR TIME MUCH BETTER THAN DRIVING HORSES TO GREENWICH! DON'T YOU, ALICE?"

Alice (with a tremendous sigh). "OH, YES! DEAR!"

MR. PUNCH'S ADVICE TO HOUSEKEEPERS.

Gentleman in charge of a group of horses.

"IF YOU WANT A THING DONE, DO IT YOURSELF."—No. I.

FOR EXAMPLE:—BY GETTING UP AT DAY-BREAK, CLEANING OUT YOUR STABLE, AND TAKING THE HORSES OUT FOR EXERCISE, YOU WILL ACCOMPLISH YOUR OBJECT.

"IF YOU WANT A THING DONE, DO IT YOURSELF."—No. II.

AND——ENABLE THE GROOMS TO GET THEIR BREAKFAST COMFORTABLY, AND SO KEEP THEM IN GOOD HUMOUR FOR THE REST OF THE DAY.

"IF YOU WANT A THING DONE, DO IT YOURSELF."—No. III.

HAVING THOROUGHLY DRESSED AND FED THE HORSES, YOU HAD BETTER SET TO WORK UPON THE BOOTS OF THE ESTABLISHMENT. THE KNIVES, AS YOU HAVE A MACHINE, YOU MAY AS WELL DO. AND, WHILE YOUR HANDS ARE SOILED, YOU HAD BETTER HELP ALPHONSO TO CARRY UP SOME COALS.

"IF YOU WANT A THING DONE, DO IT YOURSELF."—No. IV.

THERE CAN BE NO REASON WHY THE GIRLS SHOULDN'T DRESS THEMSELVES, THAT PARKER THE MAID MAY GO TO HER DANCING.

"IF YOU WANT A THING DONE, DO IT YOURSELF."—No. V.

AS FOR JOHN THOMAS, THE BEST PLAN, OF COURSE, IS TO WAIT UPON HIM, AND THEN, PERHAPS (ALTHOUGH IT BY NO MEANS FOLLOWS), HE MAY BE SATISFIED!

[As most Domestics are fond of the Organ-grinders, you had better engage one of an evening for their amusement.

"IF YOU WANT A THING DONE, DO IT YOURSELF."—No. VI.

IT IS CERTAINLY BETTER TO MIND THE BROUGHAM YOURSELF, ESPECIALLY IN FOGGY WEATHER, AS, IN CONSEQUENCE OF ROBERT'S UNFORTUNATE PROPENSITY, YOUR FAMILY ARE ALWAYS MORE OR LESS IN DANGER WHEN RETURNING FROM THE THEATRE.

"IF YOU WANT A THING DONE, DO IT YOURSELF."—No. VII.

NEVER DISTURB THE MAIDS IN THE MORNING, BUT JUMP OUT OF BED THE MOMENT YOU HEAR THE SWEEP, AND LET HIM IN; IT ISN'T MUCH TROUBLE, AND SAVES A WORLD OF GRUMBLING.

Shrouded man taking steam from a kettle.

DOMESTIC DOCTORING.

FOR A COLD IN THE HEAD THERE IS NOTHING LIKE A STEAM BATH, AND THIS CAN BE HAD IN YOUR OWN BEDROOM WITH THE GREATEST EASE—YOU HAVE ONLY TO——

TAKE CARE THAT YOU MANAGE THE APPARATUS PROPERLY.

"WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS, 'TIS FOLLY TO BE WISE!"

(New Version.)

"I SAY, JIM, VOT'S A PANIC?"

"BLOW'D IF I KNOW; BUT THERE'S VON TO BE SEEN IN THE CITY."

A PRETTY KETTLE OF FISH.

Puseyite Parson. "WHAT! WANT TO LEAVE YOUR SITUATION! WHY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE PERFECTLY SATISFIED!"

Cook. "WELL, SIR, THE FACT IS, I AIN'T EQUAL TO THEM FAST DAYS; FOR WHAT WITH A HEGG HERE, AND A HEGG THERE, AND LITTLE BITS O' FISH FOR BREAKFASTES, AND LITTLE BITS O' FISH FOR DINNERS, AND THE SWEET OMELICKS, AND THE FRIED AND THE STEWED HOYSTERS, AND THE BASHAWED LOBSTERSES, AND ONE THINK AND THE HOTHER, THERE'S SO MUCH COOKING, THAT I AIN'T EVEN TIME TO MAKE UP A CAP!"

CATCHING A TARTAR.

Irritable Old Gentleman (giving Conductor a tremendous poke in the ribs). "HOLLO, THERE! STOP! WHAT THE D * * * * CONFOUND YOU, DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO STOP AT ACACIA VILLA?"

Extremely Civil Conductor. "DEAR ME, SO YOU DID, SIR—BEG YOUR PARDON, I'M SURE, SIR, BUT I REALLY QUITE FORGOT IT."

Irritable Old Gentleman. "D-D-DON'T BEG MY PARDON, YOU IMPUDENT SCOUNDREL!—IF YOU GIVE ME ANY OF YOUR BAD LANGUAGE, I'LL HAVE YOU UP AS SURE AS YOU'RE BORN."

TOUCHING.

Groom (to Old Coachman). "WHY, GUV'NR, WHAT HEVER'S THE MATTER?"

Old Coachman (sobbing). "AH, WILLIAM! MOST AFFECTIN' SIGHT! I'VE JUST SEEN THE FOUR-IN-HAND CLUB GOING DOWN TO GREENWICH! TEN ON 'EM! BEAUTIFUL TEAMS! AND DRIVEN BY REG'LAR TIP-TOP SWELLS! IT'S BIN A'MOST TOO MUCH FOR ME!"

[Is relieved by tears.

FLUNKEIANA.

John Thomas. "YES, I MUST LEAVE. YOU SEE, MARY, MY DEAR—THERE'S TOO MUCH RED IN THE LIVERY, AND THAT DON'T SUIT MY COMPLEXION—NEVER DID!"

MEASURE FOR MEASURE.

"THIS IS ABOUT THE MARK, I THINK."

Children following lady wearing a crinoline.

IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FLATTERY.

Sarah Jane To Betsy Ann. "OH, YES! IF IT COMES TO THAT, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE CAN STICK OUT AS MUCH AS OTHER PEOPLE—I ALWAYS WEARS ONE O' MOTHER'S OLD CLOTHES-BASKETS."

MALAPROPOS.

Swell (loq.). "IN FACT, I'M QUITE USED UP—AND IF I DON'T VERY SOON GET TO SOME WATERING PLACE, I SHALL BE A—A—"

[Cartman pulls string—Grand display of the whole system of Fountains.

"AN ART THAT DOTH DISFIGURE NATURE."

MR. BELVILLE DE COURCY WALKS ON THE ESPLANADE, UNDER THE IDEA THAT HE IS CREATING NO END OF SENSATION IN A CERTAIN DRAWING-ROOM.

ALAS! HE LITTLE KNOWS, THAT OWING TO THE VERY INFERIOR QUALITY OF THE GLASS IN THAT DRAWING-ROOM WINDOW, HIS SPLENDID FIGURE IS DISTORTED AS ABOVE.

A group of attractive young ladies, with hair blowing in the wind.

ON THE JETTY.