MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF SHOOTING.

No. VIII.

FEW THINGS ARE MORE ANNOYING THAN TO BE SHORT OF POWDER WHEN THERE IS A CHANCE OF GOOD SPORT. MR. BRIGGS FEELING THIS, ORDERS A GOOD SUPPLY, TO BANG AWAY AT THE PHEASANTS TO-MORROW. HE SUGGESTS TO MRS. BRIGGS, THAT IT SHOULD BE KEPT UNDER THEIR BED, TO BE OUT OF THE WAY OF THE CHILDREN!!

A CAUTION TO LITTLE BOYS AT A FESTIVE SEASON.

Mamma. "WHY, MY DEAREST ALBERT, WHAT ARE YOU CRYING FOR?—SO GOOD, TOO, AS YOU HAVE BEEN ALL DAY!"

Spoiled Little Boy. "BOO-HOO! I'VE EATEN SO—MUCH BE-EF AND T-TURKEY, THAT I CANT EAT ANY P-PLUM P-P-PUDDING!"

[Oh, what a very greedy little fellow!

A PRIVATE OPINION.

"WELL, I THINK THIS IS THE NEATEST THING I HAVE SEEN FOR A LONG TIME."

PLEASANT.

Old Acquaintance. "AVE A DRAIN, BILL?"

Bus Driver. "WHY, YER SEE, JIM, THIS 'ERE YOUNG HOSS HAS ON'Y BIN IN 'ARNES ONCE AFORE, AND HE'S SUCH A BEGGAR TO BOLT, TEN TO ONE IF I LEAVE 'IM HE'LL BE A-RUNNIN' HOFF AND A-SMASHIN' INTO SUTHUN. HOWSEVER—HERE (handing reins to timid passenger), LAY HOLD, SIR, I'LL CHANCE IT!"

A REAL DIFFICULTY.

Coachman. "WHY—WHAT'S THE MATTER, JOHN THOMAS?"

Footman. "MATTER ENUFF! HERE'S THE MARCHIONESS BIN AN GIV ME NOTICE BECAUSE I DON'T MATCH JOSEPH,—AND I MUST GO, UNLESS I CAN GET MY FAT DOWN IN A WEEK!"

BIT FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS.

First. "WUT TAK THY QUOAT OFF, THEN! OI TELL THEE OI'M AS GOOD A MON AS THEE!"

Second. "THEE A MON! WHOY THEE BE'EST ONLY WALKING ABOUT TO SAVE THY FUNERAL EXPENSES!"

ANOTHER BIT FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS.

First Polite Native. "WHO'S 'IM, BILL?"

Second Ditto. "A STRANGER!"

First Ditto. "'EAVE 'ARF A BRICK AT 'IM."

UP TO WEIGHT.

Stout Party. "AHEM! I WANT TO HAVE A LOOK AT THE HOUNDS TO-MORROW! DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE GOT ANYTHING THAT WOULD CARRY ME?"

Stable Keeper. "WELL, SIR! I THINK I HAVE TWO BROWN 'OSSES—AND A OMNIBUS, AS PERHAPS MIGHT DO IT!"

WHY, INDEED?

Perceptive Child. "MAMMA, DEAR! WHY DO THOSE GENTLEMEN DRESS THEMSELVES LIKE THE FUNNY LITTLE MEN IN MY NOAH'S ARK?"

VERY CONSIDERATE.

Affable Little Gentleman. "DEAR, OH DEAR! HOW IT RAINS! I'M AFRAID YOU'LL GET VERY WET—CAN I OFFER YOU A GREAT COAT OR ANYTHING?"

CHANGING THE SUBJECT.

Old Gentleman. "WELL, WALTER, I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE GOT INTO LATIN AND GREEK AT SCHOOL BY THIS TIME, EH?"

Juvenile. "OH, YES, SIR. I HAVE JUST FINISHED XENOPHON AND THUCYDIDES, AND AM NOW IN EURIPIDES. BY THE WAY, SIR, HOW WOULD YOU RENDER THE PASSAGE BEGINNING κακως πεπρακται πανταχη?"

Old Gentleman. "AHEM! HEY?—WHAT?—AHEM! HERE, RUGGLES, BRING ANOTHER BOTTLE OF CLARET, AND—EH? WHAT? WALTER, I THINK YOU HAD BETTER JOIN THE LADIES."

MEETING HIM HALF WAY.

Young Hopeful. "WELL, IT'S OF NO USE, GOVERNOR; I CAN'T STICK TO BUSINESS. I WANT TO BE A SOLDIER, AND YOU MUST BUY ME A COMMISSION."

Governor. "NO, MY BOY, I CAN'T AFFORD TO BUY YOU A COMMISSION, BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WILL DO; IF YOU WILL GO DOWN TO CHATHAM AND ENLIST, I WILL GIVE YOU MY WORD OF HONOUR I WON'T BUY YOU OFF!"

MEN OF THE WORLD.

First Man of the World. "HEARD OF MISS F——'s MARRIAGE, CHARLEY?"

Second Do. "AH! I HEARD IT SPOKEN OF. I BELIEVE IT WAS A MARRIAGE OF INCLINATION ON BOTH SIDES?"

First Do. "YES! IT WAS A BAD JOB. THOSE MATCHES NEVER TURN OUT WELL!"

PATERFAMILIAS MAKES HIMSELF INDEPENDENT OF HOTELS.

THE BRITON ABROAD.

DID YOU EVER SEE TWO STRANGE ENGLISHMEN BREAKFASTING AT A TABLE D'HOTE ABROAD? WELL! ISN'T IT A CHEERFUL THING?

THE GARRET AND THE CONSERVATORY.

Genteel Pluralist. "WHAT THE PEOPLE CAN WANT WITH A CRYSTAL PALACE ON SUNDAYS, I CAN'T THINK! SURELY THEY OUGHT TO BE CONTENTED WITH THEIR CHURCH AND THEIR HOME AFTERWARDS."

A THOROUGH GOOD COOK

Lady. "THEN, WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR LAST PLACE, PRAY?"

Cook. "WELL, MA'AM, AFTER I'M DONE WORK, I AM VERY FOND OF SINGING AND PLAYING ON THE ACCORDIUM, AND MISSUS HADN'T USED TO LIKE IT—AND SO I GIVE NOTICE!"

DOMESTIC SANITARY REGULATIONS.

A MOST ALARMING SWELLING!

INFORMATION.

"JEMMY! WHAT'S A STALL AT THE HOPERA?"

"WELL, I CAN'T SAY, NOT FOR CERTAIN; BUT I SUPPOSE IT'S WHERE THEY SELLS THE HAPPLES, HORANGES, GINGER BEER AND BISKITS."

SELF-ESTEEM.

Gentleman. "SIXTY POUNDS A YEAR!! WHY, MAN, ARE YOU AWARE THAT SUCH A SUM IS MORE THAN IS FREQUENTLY GIVEN TO A CURATE?"

Flunkey. "OH, YES, SIR; BUT THEN YOU WOULD HARDLY, I HOPE, GO FOR TO COMPARE ME WITH THE HINFERIOR ORDER OF CLERGY."

GROSS INSULT.

University "Man" having spent a few days in Town, at the end of Term is about to go Home.

Waiter (condescendingly). "GOING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, SIR?"

University MAN (hurling himself into Hansom). "EUSTON SQUA-A-A-RE!"

CANDID.

Old Gent. "THOMAS, I HAVE ALWAYS PLACED THE GREATEST CONFIDENCE IN YOU. NOW TELL ME, THOMAS, HOW IS IT THAT MY BUTCHER'S BILLS ARE SO LARGE, AND THAT I ALWAYS HAVE SUCH BAD DINNERS?"

Thomas. "REALLY, SIR, I DON'T KNOW, FOR I'M SURE WE NEVER HAVE ANYTHING NICE IN THE KITCHEN THAT WE DON'T ALWAYS SEND SOME OF IT UP INTO THE PARLOUR!"

DE GUS-TIBUS.

Uncle. "SO, YOU'VE BEEN TO THE CRYSTAL PALACE—HAVE YOU, GUS?"

Gus. "YES, UNCLE."

Uncle. "WELL. NOW, I'LL GIVE YOU SIXPENCE IF YOU WILL TELL ME WHAT YOU ADMIRED MOST IN THAT TEMPLE OF INDUSTRY?"

Gus. (unhesitatingly). "VEAL AND 'AM PIES, AND THE GINGER BEER. GIVE US THE SIXPENCE."

AN ENTHUSIASTIC FISHERMAN.

"WHAT A BORE! JUST LIKE MY LUCK. NO SOONER HAVE I GOT MY TACKLE READY, AND SETTLED DOWN TO A BOOK, THAN THERE COMES A CONFOUNDED BITE!"

MELANCHOLY REVERSE OF FORTUNE.

"POOR SWEEPER, LADIES! RAILWAY DIRECTOR ONCE, LADIES!"

A COUNTRY BALL.

First Amiable Lady (very loud). "WHAT A REMARKABLY ODD SET OF PEOPLE ONE MEETS AT A PUBLIC BALL!"

Second Do. "OH, VERY DROLL!"

Poor Little Swell. "YETH; AND SO THWANGELY DRETHED!"

A FACT.

Flunkey (out of place). "THERE'S JUST ONE QUESTION I SHOULD LIKE TO ASK YOUR LADYSHIP—HAM I ENGAGED FOR WORK, OR HAM I ENGAGED FOR ORNAMENT?"

RATHER AWKWARD FOR TOMKINS.

Young Diana. "I THINK, SIR, IF YOU WOULD BE SO GOOD AS TO GO FIRST, AND BREAK THE TOP RAIL, MY PONY WOULD GET OVER."

AGRICULTURAL DISTRESS.

Whip. "HOLD HARD, GENTLEMEN! WARE WHEAT! WARE WHEAT!!"

Young Farmer. "COME ON, GENTLEMEN. NEVER MIND THE WHEAT—IT'S ONLY THIRTY SHILLINGS A QUARTER!!"

PROFESSOR BUCKWHEAT IMPRESSING THE AGRICULTURAL MIND.

GOING "OUT" TO AN "AT HOME."

Lovely Woman (to brute of a Husband). "GOOD GRACIOUS, WILLIAM—FAST ASLEEP! AND NOT DRESSED, I DECLARE! WHY IT'S NEARLY TWELVE O'CLOCK, AND THE BROUGHAM HAS BEEN WAITING THIS HALF-HOUR. GO AND GET READY THIS MOMENT, SIR!"

TERRIBLE DOMESTIC INCIDENT.

"LAWK, JOHN! IF YOU HAVEN'T BIN AND LET MASTER'S LIBERY FIRE OUT AGAIN."

FILLING UP THE CENSUS PAPER.

Wife of his Bosom. "UPON MY WORD, MR PEEWITT! IS THIS THE WAY YOU FILL UP YOUR CENSUS? SO YOU CALL YOURSELF THE 'HEAD OF THE FAMILY'—DO YOU—AND ME A FEMALE!"

A SPORTING CHARACTER.

"ARE YOU GOING TO HASCOT, BILL?"

"WHY, YES; I'M GOING TO CHAPERONG THIS YOUNG FEMALE DOWN BY THE RAIL."

OUR FOREIGN VISITORS.

Conductor. "HOLD HARD, BILL! HERE'S A COUPLE MORE LEICESTER SQUARES A-COMIN'."

TRUE RESPECTABILITY.

First Costermonger. "I WONDER A RESPECTABLE COVE LIKE YOU, BILL, CARRIES YOUR OWN COLLYFLOWERS; WHY DON'T YER KEEP A CARRIDGE LIKE MINE?"

Second Costermonger. "WHY DON'T I KEEP A CARRIDGE? WHY, BECAUSE I DON'T CHOOSE TO WASTE MY HINCUM IN MERE SHOW AND FASHIONABLE DISPLAY!"

THE OPERA.

Box-Keeper. "STALLS 216 AND 17. THIS WAY, MA'AM; LAST ROW, MA'AM. WON'T YOU LIKE A BOOK, MA'AM?"

SEASONABLE QUESTION.

"DID YOU WANT YER DOOR SWEPT, MARM?"

A BRITISH RUFFIAN.

Lady. "IF YOU ARE NOT SATISFIED WITH WHAT I HAVE GIVEN YOU, THERE'S A GENTLEMAN HERE WHO WILL SETTLE WITH YOU."

Cabman. "NO, THERE AIN'T! THERE AIN'T NO GENTLEMAN HERE!"

Lady. "I TELL YOU THERE IS. THERE IS A GENTLEMAN IN THIS HOUSE."

Cabman. "OH, NO, THERE AIN'T, NOT IF HE BELONGS TO YOU!"

TURFITES.

"I SAY, OLD FELLOW, HOW DO YOU GO TO THE DERBY THIS YEAR?"

"OH, THE OLD WAY—HAMPER AND FOUR."

UNSEASONABLE SPORT.

Wife (much startled). "GOOD GRACIOUS, REGINALD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GUN?"

Reginald (who is very fond of shooting). "HUSH! HUSH! MY DEAR—I'VE KILLED TWO!"

Wife. "MY GOODNESS! TWO WHAT?—THIEVES?"

Reginald. "NO, DEAR. TWO OF THOSE CONFOUNDED RABBITS THAT ARE ALWAYS EATING THE VERBENA! THERE, GO TO SLEEP, DARLING—I'LL HAVE ANOTHER DIRECTLY."

A YOUNG GENTLEMAN AND SCHOLAR.

Fond Mother. "WHY, HE DOESN'T WRITE VERY WELL YET, BUT HE GETS ON NICELY WITH HIS SPELLING. COME, ALEXANDER, WHAT DOES D. O. G. SPELL?"

Infant Prodigy (with extraordinary quickness). "CAT!"

"THAT IS THE QUESTION."

IS WESKETS TO BE GENERALLY WORE THIS SUMMER?

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT.

Dealer. "THERE! HE AIN'T A 'ORSE MADE UP FOR SALE, HE'LL GO ON IMPROVIN' EVERY DAY YOU KEEP HIM—HE WILL."

EASY SHAVING.

ARITHMETIC IN THE UNIVERSITY.

"I SAY, FRANK, MY BOY—IF TROUNCER'S AT 5 TO 2, AND NUTSHELL AT 3 TO 1, WHAT'S THE BETTING AGAINST THE PAIR OF THEM!"

"I'M SURE I DON'T KNOW—TAKE YOU 6 TO 1."

STARTLING EFFECT OF THE "GOLD DIGGINS."

Reduced Goldsmith (loq.). "NOW THEN, HERE YOU ARE!—A HANDSOME GOLD SNUFFBOX AND A HA'PORTH OF SNUFF FOR A PENNY!"

A TEST OF STRENGTH.

First Languid Party. "DON'T YOU FIND SEA-AIR VERY STRENGTHENING, JACK?"

Second Ditto, Ditto. "AH, VEWY! I COULD THROW STONES IN THE WATER ALL DAY!"

ELEGANT AND RATIONAL DINNER COSTUME FOR CLOSE WEATHER.

HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?

A HEAVY BLOW.

Alderman Gobble. "WHAW-T; PULL DOWN TEMPLE BAR? OH DEAR! RING FOR THE SHERRY. THEY'LL BE FOR DESTROYING GOG AND MAGOG NEXT."

OYSTERS IN JUNE—DELICIOUS!

"NOW, MY LITTLE MAN—HERE'S YOUR FINE NATIVES! ONLY A PENNY A LOT."

A PRODIGIOUS NUISANCE.

Learned (but otherwise highly objectionable) Child (loq.). "OH, MAMMA, DEAR! WHAT DO YOU THINK? I ASKED MR. —— AND MISS —— TO NAME SOME OF THE REMARKABLE EVENTS FROM THE YEAR 700 TO THE YEAR 600 B.C., AND THEY COULDN'T. BUT I CAN—AND—THE SECOND MESSINIAN WAR COMMENCED; AND—THE POET TYRTÆUS FLOURISHED; BYZANTIUM WAS FOUNDED BY THE INHABITANTS OF MEGARA; DRACO GAVE LAWS TO ATHENS; TERPANDER OF LESBOS, THE MUSICIAN AND POET; THALES OF MILETUS, THE PHILOSOPHER; ALCÆUS AND SAPPHO, THE POETS, FLOURISHED; AND NEBUCHADNEZ——"

[Sensation from right and left, during which the voice of Child is happily drowned.

LITTLE BOY HAS A PENN'ORTH—

ALARMING RESULT!

HOW TO MAKE CULPRITS COMFORTABLE; OR, HINTS FOR PRISON DISCIPLINE.

SAILORS ON SHORE CAROUSING—AS IT WILL BE WHEN THE GROG IS STOPPED.

SUBURBAN FELICITY. GRATIFYING DOMESTIC (POULTRY) INCIDENT.

Buttons. "OH! PLEASE'M! BE QUICK'M! HERE'S THE COACHING CHINA A CLUCKING LIKE ANYTHINK. HE'VE BEEN AND LAID A HEGG!!!"

DURING THE FROST A CERTAIN FOX-HUNTER INCREASES IN WEIGHT, AND GETS TOO BIG FOR HIS CLOTHES.