XII The Katydid

Skeeters pest’rin’, Bites a-fest’rin’, Merc’ry ninety-four; Feelin’ groggy, Piller soggy, Makes me tur’bel sore. Rollin’, groanin’, Tossin’, moanin’, Hotter ’n eggs a-fryin’; Houn’ dawg yellin’, Jack-ass hellin’, Little Willy cryin’. Nerves a-tingle; Ev’ry single Nightish critter tootin’; Hosses champin’, Cattle stampin’, Even stars a-shootin’! Air is deader Than a medder Whar they’s be’n a fire East all smoky, Moon-rise poky— Julluk out o’ mire. Night’s a horrer; Like ter borrer Bill’s ol’ “make-’em-peep;” Shoot the dam things So’s ter ca’m things— Git fi’ minnits’ sleep. Nature’s planned it Tho, ’n’ I’ll stand it— ’Cept one thing, by hellum! That’s thet rawcus Hoppin’ jaw-cuss Out on yender ellum. Pesky thing Doosn’t sing; Line o’ talk ’S jist a squawk. Rubs its wings an’ Thinks it sings an’ Knocks my wits All ter bits; Never quits Throwin’ fits All the night Till it’s light; No beseechin’ Stops its screechin’; Filin’ saws, Grindin’ jaws, Windin’ clocks, Gratin’ locks— ’S music ’side That ’ar snide! Change yer toon, yew Mis’bel loon, yew! Mos’ly threes; Shift it, please! “She did! She hid Her lid, She did!” Now ’e’s say’n’ Threes again: “Yes she did, Yes she did, Yes she, yes she, Yes she did!” Gosh a’ mity, I’m mos’ flighty. Insect ass, Scrapin’ brass, Co’se I know She done so. Now yew kill her. (Hang this piller!) Thar, thet’s better; Hope yew’ve let ’er Die the death; Save yer breath, Mornin’s here, Breakfas’ near. Durn ’er hide, Katy’s died!