CHARACTERS
Reading edition
NOXUS PODUNKUS: Grand Referendunce Chairman of the Federated Musnud of the World.
SHISHMASH HASH HASH: Master of Ceremonies to the Court of Progress.
Of— Savants—One hundred
Moonshees
Roctor-Proctors
Pundits
Theorists
Seers
Of—
Oracles —One Hundred
Solons
Nestors
Gamaliels
Daniels
Of—Dizzards 50
Zanys 100
Fuddys 100
Hoddy-Doddys 100
Loobies 1000
Gaberlunzies 1000
Nizys 5000
Of Descendant Sons and Daughters of Ancient and Honorable Anti-Vivisectionists—50,000
Anti-Vaccinationists
Anti-Contraceptionists
Anti-Saloon Leaguers
Anti-Vice Crusaders
Anti-Lewd Book Examiners
Eugenic Sires
Free and Accepted Boy Scouts
Professors of Christian Economy
Feminists
Moral Prophylaxers
Non-Smokers’ Social Unionists
Seventh Day Adventists
Sabbath Day Exclusivists
Holy Rollers
Evangelists
King’s Daughters
Women Magazine Editors
Library Protection Association Guards
Watch and Ward Society Guards
Prohibitionists
Federated Philosophers
Union Astronomers
Socialists
Of plaster or Ossified Specimens of Ancient and Degraded Gamblers—One Each
Saloon-keepers
Bartenders
Financiers
Thieves
Vivisectionists
Vaccinationists
Philosophers
Politicians
Astronomers
Magdalens
Madams
Novelists
Playwrights
Scenario Writers
Musicians
Painters
Poets
Cigarette Fiends
Dope Fiends
Sabbath Day Breakers
Pragmatists
Predatory Rich
Anarchists
White Slavers
Nietzscheans
Scientists
Chemists
Physicists
Stoics
Liars
Dogs
Scoundrels