SCENE I
Reading edition
TIME: one morning. PLACE: the highroad to Gotham.
HODGE.SCRODGE.
PODGE.KING.
NODGE.SOLDIERS.
[Enter HODGE, PODGE, NODGE, and SCRODGE; each carries an ax and each chuckles to himself.]
HODGE. Well, the last tree is down!
PODGE. Down and across the road!
NODGE. Not a horse can get through them!
SCRODGE. How angry it will make the king! Ha, ha!
HODGE. He sent us word he would visit Gotham! Ha, ha!
PODGE. Ha, ha!
NODGE. Ha, ha!
SCRODGE. He would hang us if he knew we cut the trees!
HODGE. And let them fall across the road.
PODGE. He will not know. Not a Gotham man would tell him!
NODGE. Nor a Gotham woman!
SCRODGE. Nor a Gotham child!
HODGE. They have not forgotten what his last visit brought upon them.
PODGE. Everything he saw and liked, he took.
NODGE. And would not pay for it!
SCRODGE. His servants and his soldiers ate the town up.
HODGE. And would not pay for it!
PODGE (looking off). He is coming now! He is on the hill!
SCRODGE. He has his soldiers with him!
NODGE. He must not see us! Come!
[They run off. Enter the KING and SOLDIERS.]
KING. To think that I—a king—should have to walk!
FIRST SOLDIER. Shall I bring the horses up, your Majesty?
KING. Of what use? Look how the road from here is filled with trees!
SECOND SOLDIER. Just as it was back there!
KING. I know! It was done to keep me out of Gotham! I know!
(To Third Soldier.)
Here, you!
THIRD SOLDIER (saluting). Yes, your Majesty.
KING. Get to Gotham, if you have to crawl.
THIRD SOLDIER. Yes, your Majesty.
KING. Tell these men of Gotham I shall come again.
THIRD SOLDIER. Yes, your Majesty.
KING. And when I do—and when I do—[He stops.]
THIRD SOLDIER. Yes, your Majesty?
KING. And when I do, I'll have their noses!
THIRD SOLDIER. Yes, your Majesty.
KING. I'll have the Gotham nose of every Gotham man cut off his Gotham face!
THIRD SOLDIER. Yes, your Majesty.
KING. Go, now, and tell them that!
THIRD SOLDIER (saluting). Yes, your Majesty.
[He goes.]
KING. We will now return the way we came. (He shakes his finger toward Gotham,)
I'll have your noses, that I will!
[He goes with his soldiers.]