Note 24 — N

In connection with marriage, three chief rules are observed. The contracting parties must not be of the same gōtra; they must not be related to each other through father or mother; and the bridegroom must be the eldest son of the family. It is said that there are seven original gōtras, called after the sages Kamsha, Kāsyapa, Bharadvāja, Vatsya, Kaundinya, Atri, and Tatri; and that other gōtras have grown out of these. Relationship is said by some to cease after the fourth generation, but this is disputed. The bride’s dowry is always heavy. The wife joins her husband’s gōtra, forsaking her own altogether. Women may remain unmarried without prejudice. Needless to say, this has the reverse of favour with Brāhmans outside Malabar. But the Nambūtiri girl or woman, who has not been married, is not allowed to disappear altogether from the world without at least the semblance of marriage, for, at her death, some part of the marriage ceremony is performed on her person. The tāli is tied. In like manner, a dead Toda girl is not allowed to go to her last rest unmarried. Infant marriage, which is the rule with other Brāhmans, is said to be unknown among the Nambūtiris. Mr. Justice K. Narayana Marar, however, writes24 that he is “not prepared to assert that infant marriage is unknown among Nambūdris, and that marriages are always celebrated before puberty. There are instances, though rare, of infant marriages among them.” When a girl is ten years old, or a little more, her father thinks of finding a husband for her. Property alone is the real thing to be considered. Every detail bearing on advantage to the family through the alliance is carefully thought out. Among the Malayālis generally, the young man with University degrees has command of the marriage market, but to the Nambūtiri these are of no account. When the girl’s father has fixed on a likely young man, he gets his horoscope, and confers with a Vādhyar concerning the suitability or agreement of the young man’s horoscope with that of his daughter. Should the decision of the Vādhyar be favourable, the young man’s father is invited to the house on an auspicious day, and the two fathers, together with some friends, talk the matter over. In the presence of all, the Vādhyar announces the agreement of the horoscopes of the pair whose marriage is in prospect. The dowry of the bride is then fixed. Probably many days have been occupied already, before the fathers can agree as to the settlement of the dowry. When this has been done, the Vādhyar consults the heavenly bodies, and appoints the day on which the marriage ceremonies should be begun. There is then a feast for all present. A Nambūtiri would be in very bad circumstances if he did not give at least a thousand rupees with his daughter. He should give much more, and does, if he possibly can. The ceremonies connected with marriage are supposed to occupy a year, but they are practically completed within ten days. They open with a party leaving the bride’s illam, to invite the bridegroom and his party to the wedding. At the house of the bridegroom, the Vādhyar is given about eight fanams25 (money) by both parties. The return to the bride’s illam is a sort of noisy procession composed of the bridegroom with his friends, Nāyar women under big cadjan (palm leaf) umbrellas, a number of Nāyars, some of whom indulge in sword play with swords and shields, and Nambūtiris versed in the Sāstras. The bridegroom, who is the chief figure in the crowd, has a string (the usual kankanam) tied round his right wrist to protect him from evil spirits, and carries a bamboo with sixteen joints symbolic of the married state, a mirror for good luck, an arrow to guard the bride against evil spirits, four cloths, and a tāli. At the gate of the bride’s illam, the procession is met by some Nāyar women dressed as Nambūtiri women, who, being unable to come out and welcome the bridegroom, do so by proxy. These women wave a light in front of his face, and offer ashtamangalyam—a plate on which are plantain, betel leaves, a cocoanut, and other articles. On this day, the aupāsana agni, or sacred fire, is prepared in the courtyard of the bride’s illam. A square pit is made, and fire is made with a piece of wood of the jāk tree and of the pīpal. This fire is rendered sacred by some mystic rites. It is kept burning throughout the marriage, and is preserved until the death of the future husband and wife in one of two ways:—