Volume 1 — WHO’S WHO IN THE ZOO?

By Carolyn Wells.

A is for the Antelope, A beast that I have never met; They say he jumps the skipping-rope And makes a charming household pet.

Well, as to that I cannot say; But A is for him, anyway.

B stands for Bajjerkeit; maybe You’ve never chanced this beast to see; So I’ll describe him to you. Well, There isn’t very much to tell. One day I idly chanced to look Within a Natural History book, And there I saw his funny name, And thought I’d hand him down to fame.

C is for Codfish. He must be The saltest fish that swims the sea. And, oh! He has a secret woe! You see, he thinks it’s all his fault The ocean is so very salt! And so, In hopeless grief and woe, The Codfish has, for many years, Shed quarts of salty, briny tears! And, oh! His tears still flow— So great his grief and woe!

D stands for Dodo. He’s a bird That isn’t known to many; And this the reason, I have heard— Because there aren’t any! The Dodo, who once blithely blinked, Is now exceedingly extinct, And doesn’t it seem rather nice To think that D stands for him twice?

E is for Elephant. I know He isn’t natty, trim, or trig; His eyes are rather small, and, oh, I fear his ears are far too big! But there’s a well-attested rumor That he has quite a sense of humor; So crack a joke whene’er you meet An Elephant upon the street.

F is Flamingo. All please note His wondrous height and girth; He has the longest legs and throat Of anything on earth. Such throats are trying, are they not? In case one catches cold; Ah, yes! but just think what a lot His Christmas stockings hold!

G stands for Gnu. Of course that’s right, but then, It seems as if it should begin with N. I could select some other beast as well— Say, Goose or Grampus, Gadfly or Gazelle; But seems to me the Gnu is more attractive, He is so merry, frivolous, and active.

H is for Hippopotamus. If you desire a pet, He is, it really seems to us, The best that you can get. Train him to follow at your heels Whene’er you walk abroad, And note with what delighted squeals The lookers-on applaud!

I is for Ibex. This fine creature Is favored well in form and feature. And I is for Ichneumon, too— But what is that to me or you? But Ibex answers just as well, And isn’t near so hard to spell.

J stands for Jay. This little fellow Is blue. Sometimes I think I’d like him better were he yellow, Or even reddish pink. I know, of course, it is absurd To mind the color of a bird; And, now I think of it, I’ve seen Some Jays that were exceeding green.

K stands for Kangaroo. I’ve looked all round: A better beast for K cannot be found. The Kangaroo can hop and hop and hop; Somehow he never seems to want to stop. What more could one desire of him, I pray, Than just to hop around and stand for K?

L is for Leopard. Do you know He’s very, very vain? And sometimes quite dejectedly He mopes along the plain. At these sad times the Leopard’s heart Is filled with angry passion, Because his spots are out of date, And Zebra stripes in fashion! But other years, when fashion-books Say spots are all the style, The Leopard proudly stalks abroad With most complacent smile.

M is for Microbe. This bad beast Is very, very small; Some people say—or think, at least— He isn’t there at all! He’s smaller than the mitiest mite; The only way he comes in sight Is when he’s pictured in a book, Or through a microbescope you look.

N is for Nautilus, and he’s A pirate, bold and gay; He dashes madly through the seas, A-searching of his prey. He’s just a sort of silvery mass, All spotted blue and pink; And with his eye, which looks like glass, He winks a wicked wink.

O stands for the obsequious Ounce, Who weighs full many a pound; At you he playfully would bounce, If you were walking round. Approach him and the Ounce you’ll see Spring like a catapult; Just try it once, and you will be Surprised at the result.

P stands for Puma. His sleek paws Go softly pit-a-pat; His teeth are sharp, and sharp his claws; He’s just a great big cat. There were some Pumas in the ark; There are some also in the park: But, strange to say, in Montezuma They do not raise a single Puma!

Q stands for Quagga. We’ve been taught Nothing was ever made in vain; But even after serious thought The Quagga’s use is not quite plain. Though, stay!—ah, yes! at last I see Why the queer Quagga has to be: Were there no Quaggas, how would you Find any beast to stand for Q?

R’s for Rhinoceros. You see His clothing does not fit; Yet so indifferent is he, He doesn’t care a bit. Although it does not seem to us The unconcerned Rhinoceros Has any claim to wit or grace, We must admire his earnest face.

S stands for Sponge. You’d scarce suppose This could be called a creature; It hasn’t any eyes or nose— Indeed, it has no feature. And, though this may cause some surprise, The mermaids, I dare say, Will set a Sponge at night to rise, And make sponge-cake next day.

T stands for Tiger. In the south He roams his native heath. He has a wide, capacious mouth, And long and glistening teeth. ’Tis not worth while your time to spend To cultivate him as a friend; But to your house, so warm and snug, Invite the Tiger as a rug.

U is for the Unicorn, The dearest little thing; Though he has but a single horn, And not a single wing. A Unicorn of any age Is nicer, so I’ve heard, To keep within a gilded cage Than a canary-bird.

V is for Vervet. From his name You’d be inclined to think This creature rather mild and tame, In color somewhat pink. But not at all; the Vervet’s green, And very cross and spunky; In fact, it’s plainly to be seen The Vervet’s just a monkey!

W is for Whale. He’s in The oceans, north and south. He doesn’t have a dimpled chin, Nor yet a rosebud mouth. Yet he is very fond of fun, And has wide smiles for every one.

X stands for Xiphias; he’s a fish. If you a Xiphias should wish, Don’t let him roam around the grass, But keep him in a globe of glass. His name, as everybody knows, Is Xiphias Gladius. I suppose That means the Xiphias is glad Because he wasn’t born a Shad.

Y is for Yak, Who is not very tidy; And he’s lazy, alack! He sleeps all day Friday. About a yard wide The Yak is, precisely; With fringe on each side He’s trimmed very nicely.

Z stands for Zibet. I’ve been told This beast was much esteemed of old; But, latterly, most people think They’d rather have a moose or mink. In a museum that’s in Tibet They have one stuffed—he’s an Ex-Zibet!