Act 3 — VILLAINY
Reading edition
The villainy of a character in the American drama is appraised by an American audience in accordance with the following schedule of black marks:
1. Black moustache 20 points
2. Riding boots 36 points
3. Riding boots and crop 47 points
4. Foreign accent (save Irish) 29 points
5. Top hat 8 points
6. Patent-leather shoes 8 points
7. Long cigarette holder 4 points
8. Well fitting clothes 52 points
9. Sexual virility 84 points
10. Good manners 76 points
11. Inclination to believe that a woman over twenty is perfectly able to take care of herself 91 points
12. Inclination to believe that a woman over twenty-five is perfectly able to take care of herself 92 points
13. Inclination to believe that a woman over thirty is perfectly able to take care of herself 93 points
14. Inclination to believe that women between the ages of thirty-five and ninety are perfectly able to take care of themselves 94 points
15. Inclination to believe that women between the ages of twenty and ninety are perfectly able to take care of themselves if they want to, but that they usually don’t want to 95 points
16. One who believes that when a woman is married she does not necessarily because of this fact lose all interest in the world 82 points
16a. Or in a good time 83 points
17. Boutonniere 9 points
18. Suspicion on the part of the villain that the hero is a blockhead 98 points
19. Verbal statement of the above fact by the villain 99 points
20. Common sense 100 points