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Bentley's Miscellany, Volume I

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A LONDON FOG.

Who has not seen a London fog? I ween All those who live there, often must have seen This "darkness visible:" For much I write not; but, for those who dwell Where 'tis not known, an anecdote I'll tell Both droll and risible. 'Twas on a day,—I'm not quite certain when, For many such have been, and will again Occur, I'll stake my life,— A heavy fog took daylight out of sight;[91] So thick it was, that I am sure you might Have cut it with a knife. You could not see your hand before your face. E'en cabs and coaches knew not how to trace Their way along the town; But, on that day, through many a window flew, To shopmen's horror! On the pavements, too, Folks ran each other down. Imagine, now, a pork-shop—I don't know Quite where; but there, in many a tempting row, Most pleasing to the sight, Hung pork and hams, inside, and at the door Outside; "'twas grease, but living grease no more." (Byron is my delight.) Behind the counter, mute and anxious, sat The owner of these goodly things; and at Them first, and then the door, He look'd alternate, for no one that day Had call'd to buy; the fog kept folks away. He thought the fog a bore! Long had he sat in expectation vain; "He sigh'd and look'd, and sigh'd and look'd again," Yet no one came to buy! The day was spent, he rose to shut his shop: Just at that moment he was led to stop,— A person caught his eye. "A customer at last!" the porkman thought; Fancied some pork or hams already bought, And bow'd, "Your servant, ma'am! "Bad walking out o' doors to-day," quoth he. (This could not be gainsaid at all.) Said she, "Do you see there here ham?" Now, though the fog as dark enough without, Inside 'twas clear: the porkman had no doubt, His ham he saw and knew: He could not make the question out; no more Could fancy why she kept so near the door, But said, "Of course I do." She, with a grin facetious, said, "Well, then, I'm blow'd if you will ever see't again;" And ran away outright. The porkman hurried quickly to the door, Too late, alas! to see; for, long before, His ham was out of sight! T. G. G.

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