Loves Cure, or the Martial Maid

STatues and Pictures challenge price and fame; If they can justly boast, and prove they came From Phidias or Apelles. None denie, Poets and Painters hold a sympathy; Yet their works may decay, and lose their grace, Receiving blemish in their Limbs or Face. When the Minds Art has this preheminence, She still retaineth her first excellence. Then why should not this dear Piece be esteem'd Child to the richest fancies that e'r teem'd? When not their meanest off-spring, that came forth, But bore the image of their Fathers worth. Beaumonts, and Fletchers, whose desert out-wayes The best applause, and their least sprig of B[a]yes Is worthy Phæbus; and who comes to gather Their fruits of wit, he shall not rob the treasure. Nor can you ever surfeit of the plenty, Nor can you call them rare, though they be dainty. The more you take, the more you do them right, And we will thank you for your own delight.

Vit. ALvarez pardon'd? Ana. And return'd Lamo. I saw him land At St. Lucars, and such a general welcome, Fame as harbinger to his brave actions, Had with the easie people, prepar'd for him, As if by his command alone, and fortune Holland, with those low Provinces, that hold out Against the Arch-Duke, were again compell'd With their obedience to give up their lives To be at his Devotion. Vit. You amaze me, For though I have heard, that when he fled from Sevil To save his life (th[e]n forfeited to Law For murth'ring Don Pedro my dear Uncle) His extream wants enforc'd him to take pay I'th' Army, sate down then before Ostend, 'Twas never yet reported, by whose favour He durst presume to entertain a thought Of coming home with pardon. Ana. 'Tis our nature Or not to hear, or not to give belief To what we wish far from our enemies. Lam. Sir, 'tis most certain, the Infanta's Letters Assisted by the Arch-Dukes, to King Philip, Have not alone secur'd him from the rigor Of our Castilian Justice, but return'd him A free man and in grace. Vi[t]. By what curs'd means Could such a fugitive arise unto The knowledge of their Highnesses? much more (Though known) to stand but in the least degree Of favour with them? Lam. To give satisfaction To your demand, though to praise him I hate, Can yield me small contentment, I will tell you, And truly, since should I detract his worth, 'Twould argue want of merit in my self. Briefly to pass his tedious pilgrimage For sixteen years, a banish'd guilty man, And to forget the storms, th' affrights, the horrors His constancy, not fortune, overcame, I bring him, with his little son, grown man (Though 'twas said here, he took a Daughter with him) To Ostend's bloody siege that stage of war, Wherein the flower of many Nations acted, And the whole Christian world spectators were; There by his Son, or were he by adoption, Or nature his, a brave Scene was presented, Which I make choice to speak of, since from that The good success of Alvarez, had beginning. Vi[t]. So I love virtue in an enemy That I desire in the relation of This young mans glorious deed, you'ld keep your self A friend to truth, and it. Lam. Such was my purpose; The Town being oft assaulted, but in vain, To dare the proud defendents to a sally, Weary of ease, Don Inigo Peralta, Son to the General of our Castile forces, All arm'd, advanc'd within shot of their Walls, From whence the Musquetiers plaid thick upon him, Yet he (brave youth) as careless of the danger, As careful of his honor, drew his sword, And waving it about his head, as if He dar'd one spirited like himself, to trial Of single valor, he made his retreat With such a slow, and yet majestique pace, As if he still call'd loud, dare none come on? When sodainly, from a postern of the Town Two gallant horsemen issued, and o'ertook him, The Army looking on, yet not a man That durst relieve the rash adventurer, Which Lucio, son to Alvarez then seeing, As in the Vant-guard he sate bravely mounted, Or were it pity of the youths misfortune, Care to preserve the honor of his Countrey, Or bold desire to get himself a name, He made his brave Horse like a whirlwind bear him, Among the Combatants: and in a moment Discharg'd his Petronel, with such sure aim That of the adverse party from his horse, One tumbled dead, then wheeling round, and drawing A Faulcion, swift as lightning he came on Upon the other, and with one strong blow, In view of the amazed Town, and Camp, He struck him dead, and brought Peralta off With double honor to himself. Vit. 'Twas brave: But the success of this? Lam. The Camp receiv'd him With acclamations of joy and welcome, And for addition to the fair reward Being a massy chain of Gold given to him By young Peralta's Father, he was brought To the Infanta's presence, kiss'd her hand, And from that Lady, (greater in her goodness Than her high birth) had this encouragement: Go on young man; yet not to feed thy valour With hope of recompence to come, from me, For present satisfaction of what's past, Ask any thing that's fit for me to give, And thee to take, and be assur'd of it. Ana. Excellent Princess. Vit. And stil'd worthily The heart-bloud, nay the Soul of Soldiers. But what was his request? Lam. That the repeal Of Alvarez makes plain: he humbly begg'd His Fathers pardon, and so movingly Told the sad story of your Uncles death That the Infanta wept, and instantly Granting his suit, working the Arch-Duke to it, Their Letters were directed to the King, With whom they so prevail'd, that Alvarez Was freely pardon'd. Vit. 'Tis not in the King To make that good. Ana. Not in the King? what subject Dares contradict his power? Vit. In this I dare, And will: and not call his prerogative In question, nor presume to limit it. I know he is [the] Master of his Laws, And may forgive the forfeits made to them, But not the injury done to my honor; And since (forgetting my brave Uncles merits And many services, under Duke D' Alva) He suffers him to fall, wresting from Justice The powerful sword, that would revenge his death, I'll fill with this Astrea's empty hand, And in my just wreak, make this arm the Kings, My deadly hate to Alvarez, and his house, Which as I grew in years, hath still encreas'd, As if it call'd on time to make me man, Slept while it had no object for her fury But a weak woman, and her talk'd of Daughter: But now, since there are quarries, worth her sight Both in the father, and his hopeful son, I'll boldly cast her off, and gorge her full With both their hearts: to further which, your friendship, And oaths: will your assistance, let your deeds Make answer to me: useless are all words Till you have writ performance with your swords.

Luc. Go fetch my work: this Ruffe was not well starch'd, So tell the maid, 't has too much blew in it, And look you that the Partridge and the Pullen Have clean meat, and fresh water, or my Mother Is like to hear on't. Bob. Oh good St. Jaques help me: was there ever such an Hermaphrodite heard of? would any wench living, that should hear and see what I do, be wrought to believe, that the best of a man lies under this Petticoat, and that a Codpiece were far fitter here, than a Pinn'd Placket? Luc. You had best talk filthily: do; I have a tongue To tell my Mother, as well as ears to hear Your ribaldry. Bob. Nay you have ten womens tongues that way I am sure: why my young Master or Mistriss, Madam, Don, or what you will, what the devil have you to do with Pullen, or Partridge? or to sit pricking on a clout all day? you have a better needle, I know, and might make better work, if you had grace to use it. Luc. Why, how dare you speak this before me, sirrah? Bob. Nay rather, why dare not you do what I speak?—though my Lady your mother, for fear of Vitelli and his faction, hath brought you up like her Daughter, and has kept you these 20 years, which is ever since you were born, a close prisoner within doors, yet since you are a man, and are as well provided as other men are, methinks you should have the same motions of the flesh, as other Cavaliers of us are inclin'd unto. Luc. Indeed you have cause to love those wanton motions, They having hope you to an excellent whipping, For doing something, I but put you in mind of it, With the Indian Maid, the Governor sent my mother From Mexico.

Bob. I knew this would silence him: how he hides his eies! If he were a wench now, as he seems, what an advantage Had I, drawing two Toledo's, when one can do this! But oh me, my Lady: I must put up: young Master I did but jest: Oh custom, what hast thou made of him?

Eug. For bringing this, be still my friend; no more A servant to me. Bo[b]. What's the matter? Eug. Here, Even here, where I am happy to receive Assurance of my Alvarez return, I will kneel down: and may those holy thoughts That now possess me wholly, make this place A Temple to me, where I may give thanks For this unhop'd for blessing Heavens kind hand Hath pour'd upon me. Luc. Let my duty Madam Presume, if you have cause of joy, to intreat I may share in it. Bob. 'Tis well, he has forgot how I frighted him yet. Eug. Thou shalt: but first kneel with me Lucio, No more Posthumia now, thou hast a Father, A Father living to take off that name, Which my too credulous fears, that he was dead, Bestow'd upon thee: thou shalt see him Lucio And make him young again, by seeing thee, Who only hadst a being in my Womb When he went from me, Lucio: Oh my joyes, So far transport me, that I must forget The ornaments of Matrons, modesty, And grave behaviour; but let all forgive me If in th' expression of my soul's best comfort Though old, I do a while forget mine age And play the wanton in the entertainment Of those delights I have so long despair'd of. Luc. Shall I then see my Father? Eug. This hour Lucio; Which reckon the beginning of thy life I mean that life, in which thou shalt appear To be such as I brought thee forth, a man, This womanish disguise, in which I have So long conceal'd thee, thou shalt now cast off, And change those qualities thou didst learn from me, For masculine virtues, for which seek no tutor, But let thy fathers actions be thy precepts; And for thee Zancho, now expect reward For thy true service. Bob. Shall I? you hear fellow Stephano, learn to know me more respectively; how dost thou think I shall become the Stewards chair, ha? will not these slender hanches show well with a chain, and a gold night-Cap after supper, when I take the accompts? Eug. Haste, and take down those Blacks with which my chamber Hath like the widow, her sad Mistriss mourn'd, And hang up for it, the rich Persian Arras, Us'd on my wedding night, for this to me Shall be a second marriage: send for Musique, And will the Cooks to use their best of cunning To please the palat. Bob. Will your Ladyship have a Potato-pie, 'tis a good stirring dish for an old Lady, after a long Lent. Eug. Begone I say: why Sir, you can goe faster? Bob. I could Madam: but I am now to practise the Stewards pace, that's the reward I look for: every man must fashion his gate, according to his calling: you fellow Stephano, may walk faster, to overtake preferment: so, usher me. Luc. Pray Madam, let the wastcoat I last wrought Be made up for my Father: I will have A Cap, and Boot-hose sutable to it. Eug. Of that We'll think hereafter Lucio: our thoughts now Must have no object but thy Fathers welcome, To which thy help— Luc. With humble gladness, Madam. [Exeunt.

Alv. Where lost we Syavedra? Cla. He was met Ent'ring the City by some Gentlemen Kinsmen, as he said of his own, with whom For compliment sake (for so I think he term'd it) He was compell'd to stay: though I much wonder A man that knows to do, and has done well In the head of his troop, when the bold foe charg'd home, Can learn so sodainly to abuse his time In apish entertainment: for my part (By all the glorious rewards of war) I had rather meet ten enemies in the field All sworn to fetch my head, than be brought on To change an hours discourse with one of these Smooth City-fools, or Tissue-Cavaliers, The only Gallants, as they wisely think, To get a Jewel, or a wanton Kiss From a Court-lip, though painted. Alv. My Love Clara, (For Lucio is a name thou must forget With Lucio's bold behaviour) though thy breeding I' th' Camp, may plead something in the excuse Of thy rough manners, custom having chang'd, Though not thy Sex, the softness of thy nature, And fortune (then a cruel stepdame to thee) Impos'd upon thy tender sweetness, burthens Of hunger, cold, wounds, want, such as would crack The sinews of a man, not born a Soldier: Yet now she smiles, and like a natural mother Looks gently on thee, Clara, entertain Her proffer'd bounties with a willing bosom; Thou shalt no more have need to use thy sword; Thy beauty (which even Belgia hath not alter'd) Shall be a stronger guard, to keep my Clara, Than that has been, (though never us'd but nobly) And know thus much. Cla. Sir, I know only that It stands not with my duty to gain-say you, In any thing: I must, and will put on What fashion you think best: though I could wish I were what I appear. Alv. Endeavour rather [Musick. To be what you are, Clara, entring here, As you were born, a woman.

Eug. Let choice Musick In the best voice that e'er touch'd humane ear, For joy hath ti'd my tongue up, speak your welcome. Alv. My soul (for thou giv'st new life to my spirit) Myriads of joyes, though short in number of Thy virtues, fall on thee; Oh my Eugenia, Th' assurance that I do embrace thee, makes My twenty years of sorrow but a dream, And by the Nectar, which I take from these, I feel my age restor'd, and like old Æson Grow young again. Eug. My Lord, long wish'd for welcome, 'Tis a sweet briefness, yet in that short word All pleasures which I may call mine, begin, And may they long increase, before they find A second period: let mine eies now surfeit On this so wish'd for object, and my lips Yet modestly pay back the parting kiss You trusted with them, when you fled from Sevil, With little Clara my sweet daughter: lives she? Yet I could chide my self, having you here For being so covetous of all joyes at once, T' enquire for her, you being alone, to me My Clara, Lucio, my Lord, my self, Nay more than all the world. Alv. As you, to me are. Eug. Sit down, and let me feed upon the story Of your past dangers, now you are here in safety It will give rellish, and fresh appetite To my delights, if such delights can cloy me. Yet do not Alvarez, let me first yield you Account of my life in your absence, and Make you acquainted how I have preserv'd The Jewel left lock'd up in my womb, When you, in being forc'd to leave your Countrey, Suffer'd a civil death. [Within clashing swords. Alv. Doe my Eugenia, 'Tis that I most desire to hear. Eug. Then know. [Sayavedra within. Alv. What noise is that? Saya. If you are noble enemies, [Vitelli within. Oppress me not with odds, but kill me fairly. Vit. Stand off, I am too many of my self.

Bob. Murther, murther, murther, your friend my Lord, Don Sayavedra is set upon in the streets, by your enemies Vitelli, and his Faction: I am almost kill'd with looking on them. Alv. I'll free him, or fall with him: draw thy sword And follow me. Cla. Fortune, I give thee thanks For this occasion once more to use it. [Exit. Bo[b]. Nay, hold not me Madam; if I do any hurt, hurt me. Luc. Oh I am dead with fear! let's flie into Your Closet, Mother. Eug. No hour of my life Secure of danger? heav'n be merciful, Or now at once dispach me.

Cla. Follow him Leave me to keep these of. Alv. Assault my friend So near my house? Vit. Nor in it will spare thee, Though 'twere a Temple: and I'll make it one, I being the Priest, and thou the sacrifice, I'll offer to my Uncle. Alv. Haste thou to him, And say I sent thee: Cla. 'Twas put bravely by, And that: and yet comes on, and boldly rare, In the wars, where emulation and example Joyn to increase the courage, and make less The danger; valour, and true resolution Never appear'd so lovely, brave again: Sure he is more than man, and if he fall; The best of virtue, fortitude would dye with him: And can I suffer it? forgive me duty, So I love valour, as I will protect it Against my Father, and redeem it, though 'Tis forfeited by one I hate. Vit. Come on, All is not lost yet: You shall buy me dearer Before you have me: keep off. Cla. Fear me not, Thy worth has took me prisoner, and my sword For this time knows thee only for a friend, And to all else I turn the point of it. Say. Defend your Fathers enemy? Alv. Art thou mad? Cla. Are you men rather? shall that valour, which Begot you lawful honor in the wars, Prove now the Parent of an infamous Bastard So foul, yet so long liv'd, as murther will Be to your shames? have each of you, alone With your own dangers only, purchas'd glory From multitudes of enemies, not allowing Those nearest to you, to have part in it, And do you now joyn, and lend mutual help Against a single opposite? hath the mercy Of the great King, but newly wash'd away The blood, that with the forfeit of your life Cleav'd to your name, and family like an ulcer, In this again to set a deeper dye Upon your infamy: you'll say he is your foe, And by his rashness call'd on his own ruin; Remember yet, he was first wrong'd, and honor Spurr'd him to what he did, and next the place Where now he is: your house, which by the laws Of hospitable duty should protect him; Have you been twenty years a stranger to it, To make your entrance now in blood? or think you Your countrey-man, a true born Spaniard, will be An offering fit, to please the genius of it? No, in this I'll presume to teach my Father, And this first Act of disobedience shall Confirm I am most dutiful. Alv. I am pleas'd With what I dare not give allowance to; Unnatural wretch, what wilt thou do? Cla. Set free A noble enemy: come not on, by——You pass to him, through me: the way is open: Farewel: when next I meet you, do not look for A friend, but a vow'd foe; I see you worthy, And therefore now preserve you, for the honor Of my sword only: Vit. Were this man a friend, How would he win me, that being my vow'd foe Deserves so well? I thank you for my life; But how I shall deserve it, give me leave Hereafter to consider. [Exit. Alv. Quit thy fear, All danger is blown over: I have Letters To the Governor, in the Kings name, to secure us, From such attempts hereafter: yet we need not, That have such strong Guards of our own, dread others; And to increase thy comfort, know, this young man Whom with such fervent earnestness you eye, Is not what he appears, but such a one As thou with joy wilt bless, thy Daughter Clara. Eug. A thousand blessings in that word. Alv. The reason Why I have bred her up thus, at more leasure I will impart unto you, wonder not At what you have seen her do, it being the least Of many great and valiant undertakings She hath made good with honor. Eug. I'll return The joy I have in her, with one as great To you my Alvarez: you, in a man, Have given to me a Daughter: in a Woman, I give to you a Son, this was the pledge You left here with me, whom I have brought up Different from what he was, as you did Clara, And with the like success; as she appears Alter'd by custom, more than Woman, he Transform'd by his soft life, is less than man. Alv. Fortune, in this gives ample satisfaction For all our sorrows past. Luc. My dearest Sister. Cla. Kind Brother. Alv. Now our mutual care must be Imploy'd to help wrong'd nature, to recover Her right in either of them, lost by custom: To you I give my Clara, and receive My Lucio to my charge: and we'll contend With loving industry, who soonest can Turn this man woman, or this woman man. [Exeunt.

Vit. Let her want nothing Signior, she can aske: What loss or injury you may sustain I will repair, and recompence your love: Only that fellows coming I mislike, And did fore-warn her of him: bear her this With my best love, at night I'll visit her. Alg. I rest your Lordships Servant. Vit. Good ev'n, Signiors: Oh Alvarez, thou hast brought a Son with thee Both brightens, and obscures our Nation, Whose pure strong beams on us, shoot like the Suns On baser fires: I would to heaven my bloud Had never stain'd thy bold unfortunate hand, That with mine honor I might emulate, Not persecute such virtue: I will see him, Though with the hazard of my life: no rest In my contentious spirits, can I find Till I have gratify'd him in like kind. [Exit.

Luc. What would you have me do? this scurvy sword So galls my thigh: I would 't were burnt: pish, look, This Cloak will ne'r keep on: these Boots too hide-bound, Make me walk stiff, as if my legs were frozen, And my Spurs gingle like a Morris-dancer: Lord, how my head akes with this roguish Hat; This masculine attire is most uneasie, I am bound up in it: I had rather walk In folio, again, loose like a woman. Bob. In Foolio, had you not? Thou mock to heav'n, and nature, and thy Parents, Thou tender Leg of Lamb; oh, how he walks As if he had bepiss'd himself, and fleers! Is this a gate for the young Cavalier, Don Lucio, Son and Heir to Alvarez? Has it a corn? or do's it walk on conscience, It treads so gingerly? Come on your ways, Suppose me now your Fathers foe, Vitelli, And spying you i' th' street, thus I advance I twist my Beard, and then I draw my sword. Luc. Alas. Bob. And thus accost thee: traiterous brat, How durst thou thus confront me? impious twig Of that old stock, dew'd with my kinsmans gore, Draw, for I'll quarter thee in pieces four. Luc. Nay, prethee Bobadilla, leave thy fooling, Put up thy sword, I will not meddle with ye; I, justle me, I care not: I'll not draw, Pray be a quiet man. Bob. D'ye hear: answer me, as you would do Don Vitelli, or I'll be so bold as to lay the pomel of my sword over the hilts of your head: my name's Vitelli, and I'll have the wall. Luc. Why then I'll have the kennel: what a coil you keep! Signior, what happen'd 'twixt my Sire and your Kinsman, was long before I saw the world, No fault of mine, nor will I justifie My Fathers crimes: forget Sir, and forgive. 'Tis Christianity: I pray put up your sword, I'll give you any satisfaction That may become a Gentleman: however I hope you are bred to more humanity Than to revenge my Fathers wrong on me That crave your love, and peace: law-you-now Zancho Would not this quiet him, were he ten Vitellies.

Cla. First doe I break your Office o're your pate, You Dog-skin-fac'd rogue, pilcher, you poor John, Which I will beat to Stock-fish.

Cla. How? kick him Lucio, he shall kick you Bob, Spight o' the nose, that's flat: kick him, I say, Or I will cut thy head off. Bob. Softly y' had best. Cla. Now, thou lean, dry'd, and ominous visag'd knave, Thou false and peremptory Steward, pray, For I will hang thee up in thine own chain. Luc. Good Sister do not choak him. Bob. Murder, murder. [Exit. Cla. Well: I shall meet with ye: Lucio, who bought this? 'Tis a reasonable good one; but there hangs one Spain's Champion ne'er us'd truer: with this Staffe Old Alvarez has led up men so close, They could almost spit in the Cannons mouth, Whilst I with that, and this well mounted, scour'd A Horse-troop through, and through, like swift desire, And seen poor rogues retire, all gore, and gash'd Like bleeding Shads. Luc. Bless us, Sister Clara. How desperately you talk: what d' ye call This Gun a dag? Cla. I'll give't thee: a French petronel: You never saw my Barbary, the Infanta Bestow'd upon me, as yet Lucio? Walk down, and see it. Luc. What into the Stable? Not I, the Jades will kick: the poor Groom there Was almost spoil'd the other day. Cla. Fie on thee, Thou wilt scarce be a man before thy Mother. Luc. When will you be a woman?

Cla. Would I were none. But natures privy Seal assures me one. Alv. Thou anger'st me: can strong habitual custome Work with such Magick on the mind and manners, In spight of sex and nature? find out sirrah, Some skilful fighter. Bob. Yes Sir. Alv. I will rectifie, And redeem eithers proper inclination, Or bray 'em in a morter, and new mold 'em. [Exit. Bob. Believe your eyes, Sir, I tell you, we wash an Ethiop. Cla. I strike it for ten Duckets. Alv. How now Clara, Your Breeches on still? and your petticoat Not yet off Lucio? art thou not guelt? Or did the cold Muscovite beget thee, That lay here Lieger in the last great frost? Art not thou Clara, turn'd a man indeed Beneath the girdle? and a woman thou? I'll have you search'd by —— I strongly doubt; We must have these things mended: come goe in. [Exit.

Bob. With Lucio say you? there is for you. Vit. And there is for thee. Bob. I thank you: you have now bought a little advice Of me; if you chance to have conference with that Lady there, be very civil, or look to your head: she has Ten nails, and you have but two eies: If any foolish Hot motions should chance to rise in the Horizon Under your equinoctial there, qualifie it as well as You can, for I fear the elevation of your pole will Not agree with the Horoscope of her constitution: She is Bell the Dragon I assure you. [Exit. Vit. Are you the Lucio, Sir, that sav'd Vitelli? Luc. Not I indeed, Sir, I did never brable; There walks that Lucio Metamorphosed. [Exit. Vit. Do ye mock me? Cla. No, he does not: I am that Supposed Lucio that was, but Clara, That is, and daughter unto Alvarez. Vit. Amazement daunts me; would my life were riddles, So you were still my fair Expositor: Protected by a Lady from my death. Oh, I shall wear an everlasting blush Upon my cheek from this discovery: Oh, you the fairest Soldier, I e'er saw; Each of whose eyes, like a bright beamy Shield, Conquers without blows, the contentious. Cla. Sir, guard your self, you are in your enemies house, And may be injur'd. Vit. 'Tis impossible: Foe, nor oppressing odds dares prove Vitelli, If Clara side him, and will call him friend; I would the difference of our bloods were such As might with any shift be wip'd away: Or would to heaven your self were all your name; That having lost blood by you, I might hope To raise blood from you. But my black-wing'd fate Hovers aversely over that fond hope: And he, whose tongue thus gratifies the daughter, And Sister of his enemy, wears a sword To rip the Father and the Brother up. Thus you that sav'd this wretched life of mine, Have sav'd it to the ruin of your friends. That my affections should promiscuously Dart love and hate at once, both worthily? Pray let me kiss your hand. Cla. You are treacherous, And come to do me mischief. Vit. Speak on still: Your words are falser (fair) than my intents, And each sweet accent far more treacherous; for Though you speak ill of me, you speak so well, I doe desire to hear you. Cla. Pray be gone: Or kill me if you please. Vit. Oh, neither can I, For to be gone, were to destroy my life; And to kill you, were to destroy my soul: I am in love, yet must not be in love: I'll get away apace: yet valiant Lady, Such gratitude to honor I do owe, And such obedience to your memory, That if you will bestow something, that I May wear about me, it shall bind all wrath, My most inveterate wrath, from all attempts, Till you and I meet next. Cla. A favour, Sir? Why, I will give ye good counsel. Vit. That already, You have bestowed; a Ribbon, or a Glove. Cla. Nay, those are tokens for a waiting-maid To trim the Butler with. Vit. Your feather. Cla. Fie; the wenches give them to their serving-men. Vit. That little Ring. Cla. 'Twill hold you but by th' finger; And I would [have] you faster. Vit. Any thing That I may wear, and but remember you. Cla. This smi[l]e: my good opinion, or my self. But that it seems you like not. Vit. Yes, so well: When any smiles, I will remember yours; Your good opinion shall in weight poize me Against a thousand ill: Lastly, your self, My curious eye now figures in my heart, Where I will wear you, till the Table break. So, whitest Angels guard you. Cla. Stay Sir, I Have fitly thought to give, what you as fitly May not disdain to wear. Vit. What's that? Cla. This Sword. I never heard a man speak till this hour. His words are golden chains, and now I fear The Lyonesse hath met a tamer here: Fie, how his tongue chimes: what was I saying? Oh: this favour I bequeath you, which I tie In a Love-knot, fast, ne'er to hurt my friends; Yet be it fortunate 'gainst all your foes (For I have neither friend, nor foe, but yours) As e'er it was to me: I've kept it long, And value it, next my Virginity: But good, return it, for I now remember I vow'd, who purchas'd it, should have me too. Vit. Would that were possible: but alas it is not; Yet this assure your self, most honour'd Clara, I'll not infringe a particle of breath My vow hath offered to ye: nor from this part Whilst it hath edge, or point, or I a heart. [Exit. Cla. Oh, leave me living: what new exercise Is crept into my breast, that blauncheth clean My former nature? I begin to find I am a woman, and must learn to fight A softer sweeter battel, than with swords. I am sick methinks, but the disease I feel Pleaseth, and punisheth: I warrant love Is very like this, that folks talke of so; I skill not what it is, yet sure even here, Even in my heart, I sensibly perceive It glows, and riseth like a glimmering flame, But know not yet the Essence on't, nor name. [Exit.

Mal. HE must not? nor he shall not, who shall lett him? You politique Diego, with your face of wisdom; Don-blirt, the —— on your Aphorismes, Your grave, and Sage-Ale Physiognomy: Do not I know thee for the Alguazier, Whose dunghil all the Parish Scavengers Could never rid? thou Comedy to men, Whose serious folly is a Butt for all To shoot their wits at; whilst thou hast not wit, Nor heart, to answer, or be angry. Alg. Lady. Mal. Peace, peace, you rotten Rogue, supported by A staffe of rottener office: dare you check Any accesses that I will allow? Piorato is my friend, and visits me In lawful sort to espouse me as his wife; And who will cross, or shall our enter-views? You know me sirrah, for no Chambermaid, That cast her belly, and her wastecoat lately; Thou think'st thy Constableship is much: not so, I am ten offices to thee: I, thy house, Thy house, and office is maintain'd by me. Alg. My house-of-office is maintain'd i' th' garden: Go too, I know you, and I have contriv'd; Y'are a delinquent, but I have contriv'd A poison, though not in the third degree: I can say, black's your eye, though it be grey; I have conniv'd at this, your friend, and you: But what is got by this connivency? I like his feather well: a proper man, Of good discourse, fine conversation, Valiant, and a great carrier of the business, Sweet breasted, as the Nightingale, or Thrush: Yet I must tell you; you forget your self, My Lord Vitellies love, and maintenance Deserves no other Jack i' th' box, but he: What though he gather'd first the golden fruit, And blew your pig's-coat up into a blister, When you did wait at Court upon his mother; Has he not well provided for the barn? Beside, what profit reap I by the other? If you will have me serve your pleasure, Lady, Your pleasure must accommodate my service; As good be virtuous and poor, as not Thrive by my knavery, all the world would be Good, prosper'd goodness like to villany. I am the Kings Vice-gerent by my place; His right Lieutenant in mine own precinct. Mal. Thou art a right rascal in all mens precincts; Yet now my pair of twins, of fool, and knave, Look we are friends; there's Gold for thee, admit Whom I will have, and keep it from my Don; And I will make thee richer than thou'rt wise: Thou shalt be my Bawd, and my Officer: Thy children shall eat still, my good night Owl, And thy old wife sell Andirons to the Court, Be countenanced by the Dons, and wear a hood, Nay, keep my Garden-house; I'll call her Mother, Thee Father, my good poysonous Red-hair'd Dill, And Gold shall daily be thy Sacrifice, Wrought from a fertile Island of mine own, Which I will offer, like an Indian Queen. Alg. And I will be thy devil, thou my flesh, With which I'll catch the world. Mal. Fill some Tobacco, And bring it in: if Piorato come Before my Don, admit him; if my Don Before my Love, conduct him, my dear Devil. [Exit. Alg. I will my dear Flesh: first come, first serv'd. Well said. Oh equal Heaven, how wisely thou disposest Thy several gifts! one's born a great rich fool, For the subordinate knave to work upon: Anothers poor, with wits addition, Which well or ill-us'd, builds a living up; And that too from the Sire oft descends: Only fair virtue, by traduction Never succeeds, and seldom meets success, What have I then to do with't? My free will Left me by heaven, makes me or good, or ill: Now since vice gets more in this vicious world Than Piety, and my Stars confluence Enforce my disposition to affect Gain, and the name of rich, let who will practise War, and grow that way great: religious, And that way good: my chief felicity Is wealth the nurse of sensuality: And he that mainly labours to be rich, Must scratch great scabs, and claw a Strumpets itch. [Exit.

Pio. To s[a]y, Sir, I will wait upon your Lord, Were not to understand my self. Bob. To say Sir, You will do any thing but wait upon him, Were not to understand my Lord. Pio. I'll meet him Some half hour hence, and doubt not but to render His Son a man again: the cure is easie, I have done divers. Bob. Women do ye mean, Sir? Pio. Cures I do mean, Sir: be there but one spark Of fire remaining in him unextinct, With my discourse I'll blow it to a flame; And with my practice into action: I have had one so full of childish fear, And womanish-hearted sent to my advice, He durst not draw a knife to cut his meat. Bob. And how Sir, did you help him? Pio. Sir, I kept him Seven daies in a dark room by a Candle-light, A plenteous Table spread with all good meats, Before his eyes, a Case of keen broad Knives, Upon the board, and he so watch'd he might not Touch the least modicum, unless he cut it: And thus I brought him first to draw a knife. Bob. Good. Pio. Then for ten daies did I diet him Only with burnt Pork, Sir, and gammons of Bacon; A pill of Caveary now and then, Which breeds choler adust you know. Bob. 'Tis true. Pio. And to purge phlegmatick humor, and cold crudities; In all that time he drank me Aqua-fortis, And nothing else but— Bo[b]. Aqua-vitæ Signior, For Aqua-fortis poisons. Pio. Aqua-fortis I say again: what's one man's poison, Signior, Is anothers meat or drink. Bob. Your patience, Sir; By your good patience, h' had a huge cold stomach. Pio. I fir'd it: and gave him then three sweats In the Artillery-yard three drilling daies: And now he'll shoot a Gun, and draw a Sword, And fight with any man in Christendom. Bob. A receipt for a coward: I'll be bold, Sir, To write your good prescription. Pio. Sir, hereafter You shall, and underneath it put probatum: Is your chain right? Bob. 'Tis both right and just Sir; For though I am a Steward, I did get it With no mans wrong. Pio. You are witty. Bob. So, so. Could you not cure one Sir, of being too rash And over-daring? there now's my disease: Fool-hardy as they say, for that in sooth, I am. Pio. Most easily. Bob. How? Pio. To make you drunk, Sir, With small Beer once a day, and beat you twice, Till you be bruis'd all over: if that help not, Knock out your brains. Bob. This is strong Physick Signior, And never will agree with my weak body: I find the medicine worse than the malady, And therefore will remain fool-hardy still: You'll come, Sir? Pio. As I am a Gentleman. Bob. A man o' th' Sword should never break his word. Pio. I'll overtake you: I have only, Sir A complimental visitation To offer to a Mistriss lodg'd here by. Bob. A Gentlewoman? Pio. Yes Sir. Bob. Fair, and comely? Pio. Oh Sir, the Paragon, the Non-paril Of Sevil, the most wealthy Mine of Spain, For beauty, and perfection. Bob. Say you so? Might not a man entreat a c[u]rtesie, To walk along with you Signior, to peruse This dainty Mine, though not to dig in't Signior? Hauh—I hope you'll not denie me, being a stranger; Though I am a Steward, I am flesh and blood, And frail as other men. Pio. Sir, blow your nose: I dare not for the world: no, she is kept By a great Don, Vitelli. Bob. How? Pio. 'Tis true. Bob. See, things will veer about: this Don Vitelli Am I to seek now, to deliver Letters From my young Mistriss Clara: and I tell you, Under the Rose, because you are a stranger, And my special friend, I doubt there is A little foolish love betwixt the parties, Unknown unto my Lord. Pio. Happy discovery: My fruit begins to ripen: hark you Sir, I would not wish you now, to give those Letters: But home, and ope this to Madona Clara, Which when I come I'll justifie, and relate More amply, and particularly. Bob. I approve Your counsel, and will practise it: bazilos manos: Here's two chewres chewr'd: when wisdom is imploy'd 'Tis ever thus: your more acquaintance, Signior: I say not better, least you think, I thought not Yours good enough. [Exit.

Pio. Your servant excellent Steward. Would all the Dons in Spain had no more brains, Here comes the Alguazier: dieu vous guard Monsieur. Is my Cuz stirring yet? Alg. Your Cuz (good cosin?) A whore is like a fool, a kin to all The gallants in the Town: Your [C]uz, good Signior, Is gone abroad; Sir, with her other Cosin, My Lord Vitelli: since when there hath been Some dozen Cosins here to enquire for her. Pio. She's greatly ally'd Sir. Alg. Marry is she, Sir, Come of a lusty kindred: the truth is, I must connive no more: no more admittance Must I consent to; my good Lord has threatned me, And you must pardon. Pio. Out upon thee man, Turn honest in thine age? one foot i'th' grave? Thou shalt not wrong thy self so, for a million: Look, thou three-headed Cerberus (for wit I mean) here is one sop, and two, and three, For every chop a bit. Alg. I marry Sir: Well, the poor heart loves you but too well. We have been talking on you 'faith this hour: Where, what I said, goe too: she loves your valour; Oh, and your Musick most abominably: She is within Sir, and alone: what mean you? Pio. That is your Sergeants side, I take it Sir; Now I endure your Constables much better; There is less danger in't: for one you know Is a tame harmless monster in the light, The Sergeant salvage both by day, and night. Alg. I'll call her to you for that. Pio. No, I will charm her.

Alg. She's come. Pio. My Spirit. Mal. Oh my Sweet, Leap hearts to lips, and in our kisses meet.

Pio. Turn, turn thy beauteous face away. How pale and sickly looks the day, In emulation of thy brighter beams! Oh envious light, fli, flie, begone, Come night, and piece two breasts as one; When what love does, we will repeat in dreams. Yet (thy eyes open) who can day hence fright, Let but their Lids fall, and it will be night. Alg. Well, I will leave you to your fortitude; And you to temperance: ah, ye pretty pair, 'Twere sin to sunder you. Lovers being alone Make one of two, and day and [n]ight all one. But fall not out, I charge you, keep the peace; You know my place else. [Exit. Mal. No, you will not marry: You are a Courtier, and can sing (my Love) And want no Mistrisses: but yet I care not, I'll love you still; and when I am dead for you, Then you'll believe my truth. Pio. You kill me (fair) It is my lesson that you speak: have I In any circumstance deserv'd this doubt? I am not like your false and perjur'd Don That here maintains you, and has vow'd his faith, And yet attempts in way of marriage A Lady not far off. Mal. How's that? Pio. 'Tis so: And therefore Mistriss, now the time is come You may demand his promise; and I swear To marry you with speed. Mal. And with that Gold Which Don Vitelli gives, you'll walk some voyage And leave me to my Trade; and laugh, and brag, How you o'er-reach'd a whore, and gull'd a Lord. Pio. You anger me extreamly: fare you well. What should I say to be believ'd? expose me To any hazard; or like jealous Juno (Th' incensed step-mother of Hercules) Design me labours most impossible, I'll doe 'em, or die in 'em; so at last You will believe me. Mal. Come, we are friends: I do, I am thine, walk in: my Lord has sent me outsides, But thou shall have 'em, the colours are too sad: Pio. 'Faith Mistriss, I want clothes indeed. Mal. I have Some Gold too, for my servant. Pio. And I have A better mettal for my Mistriss. [Exeunt.

Alg. Undone—wit now or never help me: my Master He will cut my throat, I am a dead Constable; And he'll not be hang'd neither, there's the grief: The party, Sir, is here. Vit. What? Alg. He was here; I cry your Lordship mercy: but I ratled him; I told him here was no companions For such debauch'd, and poor condition'd fellows; I bid him venture not so desperately The cropping of his ears, slitting his nose, Or being gelt. Vit. 'Twas well done. Alg. Please your honor, I told him there were Stews, and then at last Swore three or four great oaths she was remov'd, Which I did think I might, in conscience, Being for your Lordship. Vit. What became of him? Alg. Faith Sir, he went away with a flea in's ear, Like a poor cur, clapping his trundle tail Betwixt his legs.—A chi ha, a chi ha, a chi ha—now luck.

Mal. 'Tis he, do as I told thee: Bless thee Signior. Oh, my dear Lord. Vit. Malroda, what alone? Mal. She never is alone, that is accompanied With noble thoughts, my Lord; and mine are such, Being only of your Lordship. Vit. Pretty Lass. Mal. Oh my good Lord, my Picture's done: but 'faith It is not like; nay, this way Sir, the light Strikes best upon it here. Pio. Excellent wench. [Exit. Alg. I am glad the danger's over. [Exit. Vit. 'Tis wondrous like, But that Art cannot counterfeit what Nature Could make but once. Mal. All's clear; another tune You must hear from me now: Vitelli, thou'rt A most perfidious and a perjur'd man, As ever did usurp Nobility. Vit. What meanst thou Mal? Mal. Leave your betraying smiles, And change the tunes of your inticing tongues To penitential prayers; for I am great In labour, even with anger, big with child Of womans rage, bigger than when my womb Was pregnant by thee: go seducer, flie Out of the world, let me the last wretch be Dishonored by thee: touch me not, I loath My very heart, because thou lay'st there long; A woman's well help'd up, that's confident In e'er a glittering outside on you all: Would I had honestly been match'd to some Poor Countrey-swain, e'er known the vanity Of Court: peace then had been my portion, Nor had been cozen'd by an hours pomp To be a whore unto my dying day. Vit. Oh the uncomfortable waies such women have, Their different speech and meaning, no assurance In what they say or do: Dissemblers Even in their prayers, as if the weeping Greek That flatter'd Troy a-fire, had been their Adam; Lyers, as if their mother had been made Only of all the falshood of the man, Dispos'd into that rib: Do I know this, And more: nay, all that can concern this Sex, With the true end of my creation? Can I with rational discourse sometimes Advance my spirit into Heaven, before 'T has shook hands with my body, and yet blindly Suffer my filthy flesh to master it, With sight of such fair frail beguiling objects? When I am absent, easily I resolve Ne'er more to entertain those strong desires That triumph o'er me, even to actual sin; Yet when I meet again those sorcerers eies, Their beams my hardest resolutions thaw, As if that cakes of Ice and July met, And her sighs powerful as the violent North, Like a light feather twirl me round about And leave me in mine own low state again. What ayl'st thou? prethee weep not: Oh, those tears If they were true, and rightly spent, would raise A flow'ry spring i'th' midst of January: Celestial Ministers with Chrystal cups Would stoop to save 'em for immortal drink: But from this passion; why all this? Mal. Do ye ask? You are marrying: having made me unfit For any man, you leave me fit for all: Porters must be my burthens now, to live, And fitting me your self for Carts, and Beadles, You leave me to 'em: And who of all the world But the virago, your great Arch-foes daughter? But on: I care not, this poor rush: 'twill breed An excellent Comedy: ha, ha: 't makes me laugh: I cannot choose: the best is, some report It is a match for fear, not love o' your side. Vit. Why how the devil knows she, that I saw This Lady? are all whores, piec'd with some witch? I will be merry, 'faith 'tis true, sweet heart, I am to marry? Mal. Are you? you base Lord, By —— I'll pistol thee. Vit. A roaring whore? Take heed, there's a Correction-house hard by: You ha' learn'd this o' your swordman, that I warn'd you of, Your Fencers, and your drunkards: but whereas You upbraid me with oaths, why I must tell you I ne'er promis'd you marriage, nor have vow'd, But said I lov'd you, long as you remain'd The woman I expected, or you swore, And how you have fail'd of that (sweet-heart) you know. You fain would shew your power, but fare you well, I'll keep no more faith with an infidel. Mal. Nor I my bosome for a Turk: d' ye hear? Goe, and the devil take me, if ever I see you more: I was too true. Vit. Come, pish: That devil take the falsest of us two. Mal. Amen. Vit. You are an ill Clark; and curse your self: Madness transports you: I confess, I drew you Unto my Will: but you must know that must not Make me doat on the habit of my sin. I will, to settle you to your content, Be master of my word: and yet he ly'd That told you I was marrying, but in thought: But will you slave me to your tyranny So cruelly I shall not dare to look Or speak to other women? make me not Your smock's Monopolie: come, let's be friends: Look, here's a Jewel for thee: I will come At night, and— Mal. What 'yfaith: you shall not, Sir. Vit. 'Faith, and troth, and verily, but I will. Mal. Half drunk, to make a noise, and rail? Vit. No, no, Sober, and dieted for the nonce: I am thine, I have won the day. Mal. The night (though) shall be mine. [Exeunt.

Cla. What said he, sirrah? Bob. Little, or nothing: faith I saw him not, Nor will not: he doth love a strumpet, Mistriss, Nay, keeps her spitefully, under the Constables nose, It shall be justified by the Gentleman Your brothers Master that is now within A practising: there are your Letters: come You shall not cast your self away, while I live, Nor will I venture my Right worshipful place In such a business—here's your Mother, down: And he that loves you: another 'gates fellow, I wish, If you had any grace.

Cla. Well rogue. Bob. I'll in, to see Don Lucio manage, he'll make A pretty piece of flesh, I promise you, He does already handle his weapon finely. [Exit. Eug. She knows your love, Sir, and the full allowance Her Father and my self approve it with, And I must tell you, I much hope it hath Wrought some impression by her alteration; She sighs, and saies, forsooth, and cries heigh-ho, She'll take ill words o' th' Steward, and the Servants, Yet answer affably, and modestly: Things Sir, not usual with her: there she is, Change some few words. Say. Madam, I am bound t'ye; How now, fair Mistriss, working? Cla. Yes forsooth, Learning to live another day. Say. That needs not. Cla. No forsooth: by my truly but it does, We kn[o]w not what we may come to. Eug. 'Tis strange. Say. Come, I ha begg'd leave for you to play. Cla. Forsooth 'Tis ill for a fair Lady to be idle. Say. She had better be well-busied, I know that. Turtle: me thinks you mourn, shall I sit by you? Cla. If you be weary, Sir, you had best be gone (I work not a true stitch) now you're my mate. Say. If I be so, I must do more than side you. Cla. Ev'n what you will, but tread me. Say. Shall we bill? Cla. Oh no, forsooth. Say. Being so fair, my Clara, Why d'ye delight in Black-work? Cla. Oh White Sir, The fairest Ladies like the blackest men: I ever lov'd the colour: all black things Are least subject to change. Say. Why, I do love A black thing too: and the most beauteous faces Have oftnest of them: as the blackest eyes, Jet-arched brows, such hair: I'll kiss your hand. Cla. 'Twill hinder me my work Sir: and my Mother Will chide me, if I do not do my taske. Say. Your Mother, nor your Father shall chide: you Might have a prettier taske, would you be rul'd, And look with open eyes. Cla. I stare upon you: And broadly see you, a wondrous proper man, Yet 'twere a greater taske for me to love you Than I shall ever work Sir, in seven year, —O' this stitching, I had rather feel Two, than sow one:—this rogue h' as given me a stitch good faith sir: I shall prick you. Clean cross my heart: Say. In gooder faith, I would prick you againe. Cla.] Now you grow troublesome: pish, the man is foolish. Say. Pray wear these trifles. Cla. Neither you, nor trifles, You are a trifle, wear your self, Sir, out, And here no more trifle the time away. Say. Come; you're deceiv'd in me, I will not wake, Nor fast, nor dye for you. Cla. Goose, be not you deceiv'd, I cannot like, nor love, nor live with you, Nor fast, nor watch, nor pray for you. Eug. Her old fit. Say. Sure this is not the way, nay, I will break Your melancholly. Cla. I shall break your pate then, Away, you sanguine scabbard. Eug. Out upon thee Thou'lt break my heart, I am sure.

Say. She's not yet tame. Alv. On Sir; put home: or I shall goad you here With this old Fox of mine, that will bite better: Oh, the brave age is gone; in my young daies A Chevalier would stock a needle[s] point Three times together: strait i' th' hams? Or shall I give ye new Garters? Bob. Faith old Master. There's little hope: the linnen sure was danck He was begot in, he's so faint, and cold: [2 Torches ready. Ev'n send him to Toledo, there to study, For he will never fadge with these Toledos; Bear ye up your point there; pick his teeth: Oh base. Pio. Fie: you are the most untoward Scholar: bear Your body gracefully: what a posture's there? You lie too open-breasted. Luc. Oh! Pio. You'ld never Make a good States-man: Luc. Pray no more. I hope to breathe in peace, and therefore need not The practise of these dangerous qualities, I do not mean to live by't; for I trust You'll leave me better able. Alv. Not a Button: Let's goe get us a new heir. Eug. I by my troth: your daughter's as untoward. Alv. I will break thee bone by bone, and bake thee, E'r I'll ha' such a wooden Son to inherit: Take him a good knock; see how that will work. Pio. Now, for your life Signior: Luc. Oh: alas, I am kill'd My eye is out: look Father: Zancho: I'll play the fool no more thus, that I will not. Cla. 'Heart: ne'r a rogue in Spain shall wrong my brother Whilst I can hold a sword. Pio. Hold Madam, Madam. Alv. Clara. Eug. Daughter. Bo[b]. Mistress. Pio. Bradamante. Hold, hold I pray. Alv. The devil's in her, o'the other side sure, There's Gold for you: they have chang'd what ye calt's: Will no cure help? well I have one experiment, And if that fail, I'll hang him, then here's an end on't. Come you along with me: and you Sir: [Exeunt. Alv. Eug. Luc. Bob. Bob. Now are you going to drowning. Say. I'll ev'n along with ye: she's too great a Lady For me, and would prove more then my match. [Exit. Cla. You'r he spoke of Vitelli to the Stewerd: Pio. Yes, and I thank you, you have beat me for't. Cla. But are you sure you do not wrong him? Pio. Sure? So sure, that if you please venture your self I'll shew you him, and his Cokatrice together, And you shall hear 'em talk. Cla. Will you? by —— Sir You shall endear me ever: and I ask You mercy. Pio. You were somewhat boystrous. Cla. There's Gold to make you amends: and for this pains, I'll gratifie you farther: I'll but masque me And walk along with ye: faith let's make a night on't. [Exit.

Pach. The terror of rug-gownes shall be known: and our bil[s] Discharge us of after recknings. Laz. I will do any thing, so I may eat. Pach. Lazarillo, We will spend no more; now we are grown worse, we will live better: let us follow our calling faithfully. Alg. Away, then the Common-wealth is our Mistress: and who Would serve a common Mistress, but to gain by her? [Exeunt.

Lam. I pray you see the Masque, my Lord. Ana. 'Tis early night yet. Gen. O if it be so late, take me along: I would not give advantage to ill tongues To tax my being here, without your presence To be my warrant. Vit. You might spare this, Sister, Knowing with whom I leave you; one that is By your allowance, and his choice, your Servant, And may my councel and perswasion work it, Your husband speedily: For your entertainment My thanks; I will not rob you of the means To do your Mistriss some acceptable service In waiting on her to my house. Gen. My Lord. Vit. As you respect me, without farther trouble Retire, and fast those pleasures prepar'd for you, And leave me to my own ways. Lam. When you please Sir. [Exeunt.

Mal. You'll leave my Chamber? Alg. Let us but bill once, My Dove, my Sparrow, and I, with my office Will be thy slaves for ever. Mal. Are you so hot? Alg. But tast the difference of a man in place, You'l find that when authority pricks him forward, Your Don, nor yet your Diego comes not near him To do a Lady right: no men pay dearer For their stoln sweets, than we: three minutes trading Affords to any [si]nner a protection For three years after: think on that, I burn; But one drop of your bounty. Mal. Hence you Rogue, Am I fit for you? is't not grace sufficient To have your staff, a bolt to bar the door Where a Don enters, but that you'l presume To be his taster? Alg. Is no more respect Due to [t]his rod of justice? Mal. Do you dispute? Good Doctor of the Dungeon, not a word more, —If you do, my Lord Vitelli knows it. Alg. Why I am big enough to answer him, Or any man. Mal. 'Tis well. [Vitelli within. Vit. Malroda. Alg. How? Mal. You know the voice, and now crowch like a Cur, Tane worrying sheep: I now could have you guelded For a Bawd rampant: but on this submission For once I spare you. Alg. I will be reveng'd— My honorable Lord.

Vit. There's for thy care. Alg. I am mad, stark mad: proud Pagan scorn her host? I would I were but valiant enough to kick her,

I'l[d] wish no manhood else. Mal. What's that? Alg. I am gone. [Exit. Pio. You see I have kept my word. Cla. But in this object Hardly deserv'd my thanks. Pio. Is there ought else You will command me? Cla. Only your sword Which I must have: nay willingly I yet know To force it, and to use it. Pio. 'Tis yours Lady. Cla. I ask no other guard. Pio. If so I leave you: And now, if that the Constable keep his word, A poorer man may chance to gull a Lord. [Exit. Mal. By this good —— you shall not. Vit. By this —— I must, and will, Malroda; What do you make A stranger of me? Mal. I'll be so to you, And you shall find it. Vit. These are your old arts T'endear the game you know I come to hunt for, Which I have born too coldly. Mal. Do so still, For if I heat you, hang me. Vit. If you do not I know who'll starve for't: why, thou shame of women, Whose folly, or whose impudence is greater Is doubtful to determine; this to me That know thee for a whore. Mal. And made me one, Remember that. Vit. Why should I but grow wise And tye that bounty up, which nor discretion Nor honor can give way to; thou wouldst be A Bawd e're twenty, and within a Month A barefoot, lowzie, and diseased whore, And shift thy lodgings oftner than a rogue That's whipt from post to post. Mal. Pish: all our Colledge Know you can rail well in this kind. Cla. For me He never spake so well. Vit. I have maintain'd thee The envy of great fortunes, made thee shine As if thy name were glorious: stuck thee full Of jewels, as the firmament of Stars, And in it made thee so remarkable That it grew questionable, whether virtue poor, Or vice so set forth as it is in thee, Were even by modesties self to be preferr'd, And am I thus repaid? Mal. You are still my debtor; Can this (though true) be weigh'd with my lost honor, Much less my faith? I have liv'd private to you, And but for you, had ne'r known what lust was, Nor what the sorrow for't. Vit. 'Tis false. Mal. 'Tis true, But how return'd by you, thy whole life being But one continued act of lust, and Shipwrack Of womens chastities. Vit. But that I know That she that dares be damn'd, dares any thing, I should admire thy tempting me: but presume not On the power you think you hold o're my affections, It will deceive you: yield, and presently Or by the inflamed blood, which thou must quench I'll make a forcible entry. Mal. Touch me not: You know I have a throat, —— if you do I will cry out a rape, or sheath this here, Ere I'll be kept, and us'd for Julip-water T'allay the heat which lushious meats and wine And not desire hath rais'd. Vit. A desperate devil, My blood commands my reason; I must take Some milder way. Mal. I hope (dear Don) I fit you. The night is mine, although the day was yours You are not fasting now: this speeding trick Which I would as a principle leave to all, That make their maintenance out of their own Indies, As I do now; my good old mother taught me, Daughter, quoth she, contest not with your lover His stomach being empty; let wine heat him, And then you may command him: 'tis a sure one: His looks shew he is coming. Vit. Come this needs not, Especially to me: you know how dear I ever have esteemed you. Cla. Lost again. Vit. That any sight of yours, hath power to change My strongest resolution, and one tear Sufficient to command a pardon from me, For any wrong from you, which all mankind Should kneel in vain for. Mal. Pray you pardon those That need your favor, or desire it. Vit. Prethee. Be better temper'd: I'll pay as a forfeit For my rash anger, this purse fil'd with Gold. Thou shalt have servants, gowns, attires, what not? Only continue mine. Mal. 'Twas this I fish'd for. Vit. Look on me, and receive it. Mal. Well, you know My gentle nature, and take pride t'abuse it: You see a trifle pleases me, we are friends; This kiss, and this confirms it. Cla. With my ruine. Mal. I'll have this diamond, and this pearl. Vit. They are yours. Mal. But will you not, when you have what you came for, Take them from me to morrow? 'tis a fashion Your Lords of late have us'd. Vit. But I'll not follow. Cla. That any man at such a rate as this Should pay for his repentance. Vit. Shall we to bed now? Mal. Instantly, Sweet; yet now I think on't better There's something first that in a word or two I must acquaint you with. Cla. Can I cry ay me, To this against my self? I'll break this match, Or make it stronger with my blood. [Descends.

Alg. I am yours. A Don's not priviledg'd here more than your self, Win her, and wear her. Pio. Have you a Priest ready? Alg. I have him for thee, Lad; and when I have Married this scornful whore to this poor gallant, She will make suit to me; there is a trick To bring a high-pris'd wench upon her knees: For you my fine neat Harpyes stretch your tallons And prove your selves true night-Birds. Pach. Take my word For me and all the rest. Laz. If there be meat Or any banquet stirring, you shall see How I'll bestow my self. Alg. When they are drawn, Rush in upon 'em: all's fair prize you light on: I must away: your officer may give way To the Knavery of his watch, but must not see it. You all know where to find me. [Exit. Met. There look for us. Vit. Who's that? Mal. My Piorato, welcome, welcome: Faith had you not come when you did my Lord Had done I know not what to me. Vit. I am gul'd, First cheated of my Jewels, and then laug[h]'d at: Sirha, what makes you here? Pio. A business brings me, More lawful than your own. Vit. How's that, you slave? Mal. He's such, that would continue her a whore Whom he would make a wife of. Vit. I'll tread upon The face you doat on, strumpet.

Pach. Keep the peace there. Vit. A plot upon my life too? Met. Down with him. Cla. Show your old valor, and learn from a woman; One Eagle has a world of odds against A flight of Dawes, as these are. Pio. Get you off, I'll follow instantly. Pach. Run for more help there. [Exeunt all but Vit. and Clara. Vit. Loss of my gold, and jewels, and the wench too Afflicts me not so much, as th'having Clara The witness of my weakness. Cla. He turns from me, And yet I may urge merit, since his life Is made my second gift. Vit. May I ne'r prosper If I know how to thank her. Cla. Sir, your pardon For pressing thus beyond a Virgins bounds Upon your privacies: and let my being Like to a man, as you are, be th'excuse Of my solliciting that from you, which shall not Be granted on my part, although desir'd By any other: Sir, you understand me, And 'twould shew nobly in you, to prevent From me a farther boldness, which I must Proceed in, if you prove not merciful, Though with my loss of blushes and good name. Vit. Madam, I know your will, and would be thankful If it were possible I could affect The daughter of an enemy. Cla. That fair false one Whom with fond dotage you have long pursu'd Had such a father: she to whom you pay Dearer for your dishonor, than all titles Ambitious men hunt for, are worth. Vit. 'Tis truth. Cla. Yet, with her, as a friend you still exchange Health for diseases, and, to your disgrace, Nourish the rivals to your present pleasures, At your own charge, us'd as a property To give a safe protection to her lust, Yet share in nothing but the shame of it. Vit. Grant all this so, to take you for a wife Were greater hazard; for should I offend you (As 'tis not easy still to please a woman) You are of so great a spirit, that I must learn To wear your petticoat, for you will have My breeches from me. Cla. Rather from this hour I here abjure all actions of a man, And will esteem it happiness from you To suffer like a woman: love, true love Hath made a search within me, and expell'd All but my natural softness, and made perfect That which my parents care could not begin. I will show strength in nothing, but my duty, And glad desire to please you, and in that Grow every day more able. Vit. Could this be, What a brave race might I beget? I find A kind of yielding; and no reason why I should hold longer out: she's young, and fair, And chast; for sure, but with her leave, the Devil Durst not attempt her: Madam, though you have A Soldiers arm, your lips appear as if They were a Ladies. Cla. They dare Sir, from you Endure the tryal. Vit. Ha: once more I pray you: The best I ever tasted; and 'tis said I have prov'd many, 'tis not safe I fear To ask the rest now: well, I will leave whoring And luck herein send me with her: worthiest Lady, I'll wait upon you home, and by the way (If ere I marry, as I'll not forswear it) Tell you, you are my wife. Cla. Which if you do, From me all man-kind women, learn to woe. [Exeunt.

Alg. A cloak? good purchase, and rich hangers? well, We'll share ten Pistolets a man. Laz. Yet still I am monstrous hungry: could you not deduct So much out of the gross sum, as would purchase Eight loynes of Veal, and some two dozen of Capons? Pach. O strange proportion for five. Laz. For five? I have A legion in my stomach that have kept Perpetual fast these ten years: for the Capons, They are to me but as so many black Birds: May I but eat once, and be satisfied, Let the fates call me, when my ship is fraught, And I shall hang in peace. Alg. Steal well to night, And thou shalt feed to morrow; so now you are Your selves again, I'll raise another watch To free you from suspition: set on any You meet with boldly: I'll not be far off, T'assist you, and protect you. [Exit. Met. O brave officer.

Pach. Would every ward had one but so well given, And we would watch, for rug, in gowns of velvet. Mend. Stand close, a prize. Met. Satten, and gold Lace, Lads. Alv. Why do'st thou hang upon me? Luc. 'Tis so dark I dare not see my way: for heaven sake father Let us go home. Bob. No, ev'n here we'll leave you: Let's run away from him, my Lord. Luc. Oh 'las. Alv. Thou hast made me mad: and I will beat thee dead, Then bray thee in a morter, and new mold thee, But I will alter thee. Bob. 'Twil never be: He has been three days practising to drink, Yet still he sips like to a waiting woman, And looks as he were murdering of a fart Among wild Irish swaggerers. Luc. I have still Your good word, Zancho, father. Alv. Milk-sop, coward; No house of mine receives thee: I disclaim thee, Thy mother on her knees shall not entreat me Hereafter to acknowledge thee. Luc. Pray you speak for me. Bo[b]. I would; but now I cannot with mine honor. Alv. There's only one course left, that may redeem thee, Which is, to strike the next man that you meet, And if we chance to light upon a woman, Take her away, and use her like a man, Or I will cut thy hamstrings. Pach. This makes for us. Alv. What do'st thou do now? Luc. Sir, I am saying my prayers; For being to undertake what you would have me, I know I cannot live.

Lam. Madam, I fear You'll wish you had us'd your coach: your brothers house Is yet far off. Gen. The better sir: this walk Will help digestion after your great supper, Of which I have fed largely. Alv. To your task, Or else you know what follows: Luc. I am dying: Now Lord have mercy on me: by your favor, Sir I must strike you. Lam. For what cause? Luc. I know not: And I must likewise talk with that young Lady, An hour in private. Lam. What you must, is doubtful, But I am certain Sir, I must beat you. Luc. Help, help. Alv. Not strike again? Lam. How, Alvarez? An. This for my Lord Vitellis love. Pach. Break out, And like true theeves, make prey on either side, But seem to help the stranger. Bob. Oh my Lord, They have beat him on his knees. Luc. Though I want courage: I yet have a sons duty in me, and Compassion of a fathers danger; that, That wholly now possesses me. Alv. Lucio. This is beyond my hope. Met. So Lazarillo, Take up all boy: well done. Pach. And now steal off Closely and cunningly. An. How? have I found you? Why Gentlemen, are you mad, to make your selves A prey to Rogues? Lam. Would we were off. Bob. Theeves, theeves. Lam. Defer our own contention: and down with them. Luc. I'll make you sure. Bob. Now he plays the Devil. Gen. This place is not for me. [Exit. Luc. I'll follow her Half of my pennance is past oe'r. [Exit.

Alg. What noyse? What tumult's there? keep the Kings peace I charge you. Pach. I am glad he's come yet. Alv. O, you keep good Guard Upon the City, when men of our ranck Are set upon in the streets. Lam. The assistants Shall hear on't be assur'd. An. And if he be That careful Governor he is reported, You will smart for it. Alg. Patience, good Signiors: Let me survey the Rascals: O, I know them, And thank you for them: they are pilf'ring rogues Of Andaluza that have perus'd All Prisons in Castile: I dare not trust The dungeon with them: no, I'll have them home To my own house. Pach. We had rather go to prison. Alg. Had you so dog-bolts? yes, I know you had: You there would use your cunning fingers on The simple locks; you would: but I'll prevent you. Lam. My Mistriss lost, good night. [Exit. Bob. Your Son's gone too, What should become of him? Alv. Come of him, what will: Now he dares fight, I care not: I'll to bed, Look to your prisoners Alguazier. [Exit with Boba. Alg. All's clear'd: Droop not for one disaster: let us hug, And triumph in our knaveries. Assist. This confirms What was reported of him. Met. 'Twas done bravely. Alg. I must a little glory in the means We Officers have, to play the Knaves, and safely: How we break through the toyles, pitch'd by the Law, Yet hang up them that are far less delinquents: A simple shopkeeper's carted for a bawd For lodging (though unwittingly) a smock-Gamster: Where, with rewards, and credit I have kept Malroda in my house, as in a cloyster, Without taint, or suspition. Pach. But suppose The Governor should know't? Alg. He? good Gentleman, Let him perplex himself with prying into The measures in the market, and th'abuses The day stands guilty of: the pillage of the night Is only mine, mine own fee simple; Which you shall hold from me, tenants at will, And pay no rent for't. Pach. Admirable Landlord. Alg. Now we'll go search the Taverns, commit such As we find drinking: and be drunk our selves With what we take from them: these silly wretches Whom I for form sake only have brought hither Shall watch without, and guard us. Assist. And we will See you safe lodg'd, most worthy Alguazier, With all of you his comrads. Met. 'Tis the Governor. Alg. We are betray'd? Assist. My guard there; bind them fast: How men in high place and authority Are in their lives and estimations wrong'd By their subordinate Ministers! yet such They cannot but imploy: wrong'd justice finding Scarce one true servant in ten officers. 'T'expostulate with you, were but to delay Your crimes due punishment, which shall fall upon you So speedily, and severely, that it shall Fright others by th'example: and confirm How ever corrupt Officers may disgrace Themselves, 'tis not in them to wrong their place Bring them away. Alg. We'll suffer nobly yet, And like to Spanish Gallants. Pach. And we'll hang so. Laz. I have no stomach to it: but I'll endeavor. [Exeunt.