THE CHANCES. A COMEDY.
Reading edition
Persons Represented in the Play.
Duke of Ferrara.
Petruccio, Governour of Bolognia.
Don John, two Spanish Gentlemen, and Comerades.
Don Frederick,
Antonio, an old stout Gentleman, Kinsman to Petruccio.
Three Gentlemen, friends to the Duke.
Two Gentlemen, friends to Petruccio.
Francisco, a Musician, Antonio's Boy.
Peter Vecchio, a Teacher of Latine
and Musick, a reputed Wizard.
Peter and two Servants to Don John and Frederick.
Anthonie,
A Surgeon.
WOMEN.
Constancia, Sister to Petruccio, and Mistriss to the Duke.
Gentlewoman, Servant to Constancia.
Old Gentlewoman, Landlady to Don John and Frederick.
Constancia, a Whore to old Antonio.
Bawd.
The Scene Bolognia.
Actus Primus. Scena Prima.
Enter 2. Serving-men, Peter and Anthony.
Peter. I would we were remov'd from this town, Anthony, That we might taste some quiet; for mine own part, I'm almost melted with continual trotting After enquiries, dreams, and revelations, Of who knows whom, or where? serve wenching soldiers, That knows no other Paradise but Plackets: I'll serve a Priest in Lent first, and eat Bell-ropes. Ant. Thou art the froward'st fool— Pet. Why, good tame Anthonie? Tell me but this; to what end came we hither? Ant. To wait upon our Masters. Pet. But how, Anthony? Answer me that; resolve me there, good Anthony? Ant. To serve their uses. Pet. Shew your uses, Anthony. Ant. To be imploy'd in any thing. Pet. No Anthony, Not any thing I take it; nor that thing We travel to discover, like new islands; A salt itch serve such uses; in things of moment Concerning things, I grant ye, not things errant, Sweet Ladies things, and things to thank the Surgeon; In no such things, sweet Anthony, put case— Ant. Come, come, all will be mended; this invisible woman Of infinite report for shape and vertue, That bred us all this trouble to no purpose, They are determin'd now no more to think on, But fall close to their studies. Pet. Was there ever Men known to run mad with report before? Or wonder after [that] they know not where To find? or if found, how to enjoy? are mens brains Made now adays of malt, that their affections Are never sober? but like drunken People Founder at every new Fame? I do believe too That men in love are ever drunk, as drunken men Are ever loving. Ant. Prithee be thou sober, And know, that they are none of those, not guilty Of the least vanity of love, only a doubt Fame might too far report, or rather flatter The Graces of this Woman, made them curious To find the truth, which since they find so blocked And lockt up from their searches, they are now setled To give the wonder over. Pet. Would they were setled To give me some new shoos too: for I'll be sworn These are e'en worn out to the reasonable souls In their good worships business; and some sleep Would not do much amiss, unless they mean To make a Bell-man on me; and what now Mean they to study, Anthony, moral Philosophy After their mar-all women? Ant. Mar a fools head. Pet. 'Twill mar two fools heads and they take not heed, Besides the Giblets to 'em. Ant. Will you walk, Sir, And talk more out of hearing? your fools head May chance to find a wooden night-cap else. Pet. I never lay in any.
Enter Don John, and Frederick.
Ant. Then leave your lying, And your blind prophesying: here they come, You had best tell them as much. Pet. I am no tell-tale. [Exeunt. John. I would we could have seen her though; for sure She must be some rare Creature, or Report lies. All mens Reports too. Fred. I could well wish I had seen her; But since she is so conceal'd, so beyond venture Kept and preserv'd from view, so like a Paradise, Plac'd where no knowledge can come near her; so guarded, As 'twere impossible, though known, to reach her, I have made up my belief. John. Hang me from this hour If I more think upon her, or believe her, But as she came a strong Report unto me, So the next Fame shall lose her. Fred. 'Tis the next way; But whither are you walking? John. My old Round After my meat, and then to Bed. Fred. 'Tis healthful. John. Will not you stir? Fred. I have a little business. Joh. Upon my life this Lady still— Fred. Then you will lose it. John. 'Pray let's walk together. Fred. Now I cannot. John. I have something to impart. Fred. An hour hence I will not miss to meet you. John. Where? Fred. I'th' high street; For not to lie, I have a few Devotions To do first, then I am yours. John. Remember. [Exeunt.