F. Anstey

J. M. DENT & SONS, Ltd.

LONDON

CONTENTS

PAGE

IMr Jabberjee apologises for the unambitious scope of his work; sundry confidences, criticisms, and complaints. 1

IISome account of Mr Jabberjee's experiences at the Westminster Play. 9

IIIMr Jabberjee gives his views concerning the Laureateship. 18

IVContaining Mr Jabberjee's Impressions at The Old Masters. 24

VIn which Mr Jabberjee expresses his Opinions on Bicycling as a Pastime. 33

VIDealing with his Adventures at Olympia. 42

VIIHow Mr Jabberjee risked a Sprat to capture something very like a Whale. 50

VIIIHow Mr Jabberjee delivered an Oration at a Ladies' Debating Club. 60

IXHow he saw the practice of the University Crews, and what he thought of it. 69

XMr Jabberjee is taken to see a Glove-Fight. 75

XIMr Jabberjee finds himself in a position of extreme delicacy. 80

XIIMr Jabberjee is taken by surprise. 88

XIIIDrawbacks and advantages of being engaged. Some Meditations in a Music-hall, together with notes of certain things that Mr Jabberjee failed to understand. 96

XIVMr Jabberjee's fellow-student. What's in a Title? An invitation to a Wedding. Mr J. as a wedding guest, with what he thought of the ceremony, and how he distinguished himself on the occasion. 105

XVMr Jabberjee is asked out to dinner. Unreasonable behaviour of his betrothed. His doubts concerning the social advantages of a Boarding Establishment, with some scathing remarks upon ambitious pretenders. He goes out to dinner, and meets a person of some importance. 114

XVIMr Jabberjee makes a pilgrimage to the Shrine of Shakespeare. 125

XVIIContaining some intimate confidences from Mr Jabberjee, with the explanation of such apparent indiscretion. 135

XVIIIMr Jabberjee is a little over-ingenious in his excuses. 138

XIXMr Jabberjee tries a fresh tack. His visit to the India Office and sympathetic reception. 146

XXMr Jabberjee distinguishes himself in the Bar Examination, but is less successful in other respects. He writes another extremely ingenious epistle, from which he anticipates the happiest results. 155

XXIMr Jabberjee halloos before he is quite out of the Wood. 164

XXIIMr Jabberjee places himself in the hands of a solicitor—with certain reservations. 173

XXIIIMr Jabberjee delivers his Statement of Defence, and makes his preparations for the North. He allows his patriotic sentiments to get the better of him in a momentary outburst of disloyalty—to which no serious importance need be attached. 182

XXIVMr Jabberjee relates his experiences upon the Moors. 190

XXVMr Jabberjee concludes the thrilling account of his experiences on a Scotch Moor, greatly to his own glorification. 199

XXVIMr Jabberjee expresses some audaciously sceptical opinions. How he secured his first Salmon, with the manner in which he presented it to his divinity. 207

XXVIIMr Jabberjee is unavoidably compelled to return to town, thereby affording his Solicitor the inestimable benefit of his personal assistance. An apparent attempt to pack the Jury. 216

XXVIIIMankletow v. Jabberjee. Notes taken by Mr Jabberjee in Court during the proceedings. 225

XXIXFurther proceedings in the Case of Mankletow v. Jabberjee. Mr Jabberjee's Opening for the Defence. 235

XXXMankletow v. Jabberjee (part heard). Mr Jabberjee finds cross-examination much less formidable than he had anticipated. 245

XXXIMankletow v. Jabberjee (continued). The Defendant brings his Speech to a somewhat unexpected conclusion, and Mr Witherington, Q.C., addresses the Jury in reply. 255

XXXIIContaining the conclusion of the whole matter, and (which many Readers will receive in a spirit of chastened resignation) Mr Jabberjee's final farewell. 265

LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS

PAGE

"Unaccustomed to dark-complexioned gentlemen." Frontispiece

Baboo Hurry Bungsho Jabberjee, B.A. viii

"Let out! Let out!!" 5

"A golden-headed umbrella, fresh as a rose." 15

"Miss Jessimina Mankletow." 25

"I instantaneously endured the total upset!" 37

"With a large, stout constable." 47

"Was accosted by a polite, agreeable stranger." 51

"A weedy, tall male gentleman." 61

"A beaming simper of indescribable suavity." 81

"I became once more the silent tomb." 91

"In garbage of unparagoned shabbiness." 99

"The spectators saluted me with shouts of joy as the returned Shahzadar." 107

"Some haughty masculine might insult her under my very nose." 115

"It was here," I said, reverently, "that the swan of Avon was hatched!" 129

"Ascended his bicycle with a waggish winkle in his eye." 141

"Pitch it strong, my respectable Sir!" 151

"Huzza! Tol-de-rol-loll!" 157

"A royal command from the Queen-Empress." 169

"Would be greatly improved by the simple addition of some knee-caps." 179

"I am addressed by an underbred street-urchin as a 'Blooming Blacky!'" 187

"Of incredible bashfulness and bucolical appearance." 191

"I presented my trophy and treasure-trove to the fairylike Miss Wee-Wee." 203

"Whether he had wha-haed wi' hon'ble Wallace?" 209

Baboo Chuckerbutty Ram. 219

"Fresh as a daisy, and fine as a carrot fresh scraped." 227

Mr Justice Honeygall. 237

Witherington, Q.C. 247

"Jabberjee's face gradually lengthens." 261

The text and illustrations of this book are reproduced by kind permission of the Proprietors of Punch.