Book 2 / Act 3 — ACT III., SCENE 6. FÉKLA, SOPHIA, ANNA, CASETWISTER, PETTIFOG, GURGLE, SNARE, GLADLY, WORDY, GRAB, TALON AND SLY (tipsy, playing cards)
Reading edition
Talon. They have picked me clean.
Gurgle. Well! We are not picking your own feathers.
Pettifog. My dear friend, always grab the jack-pot!
Talon. A well-born man grabs all in splendid style.
Wordy (to Pettifog). Your intimate has been flaying us.
Pettifog. That’s proper. (To Sly.) You had better rise. (To Casetwister.) Will you not let him mix a punch for us? He is a great hand at it.
Casetwister. Very well.
Gurgle. That’s right, for the young beauty has been watering us as from a trough....
Sly (walking up to Anna). There is some brandy in the basket.
Fékla. His goose is cooked.
Pettifog. That’s so.
Casetwister. Whose?
Pettifog. Mine.
Gurgle. That accursed Theodotos has done it all.
Gladly (to Grab, who has been looking into his cards). Leave my ca-ca-ca——
Grab (putting his hand on his mouth). Stop your cawing.
Wordy. Say, Sly, stop courting her.
Casetwister. Anna, why have you run away from us? You had better serve us the new punch; we will be obliged to you.
Fékla (to Anna). Hurry up.
(Anna serves to the guests punch and wine, while Fékla gives her privately some signs: the guests are getting drunk.)
Snare. Oh, oh, we are getting there!
Pettifog. Eh?
Wordy (pointing to Sly). Ask him.
Sly. Sir, the trouble is, it’s all gone.
Pettifog. Keep it up; here is the wherewithal (throws a purse to him).
Gurgle. The trouble is all with Theodotos.
Pettifog. It is easy for you to have your fun with Theodotos; but it’s I who am having the trouble with him.
Casetwister. What of it? If it is true that through conspiracy Deodatus has gotten away with Theodotos’s property, there is a law for such a case.
Talon. I have already given the order to find the laws that cover the case.
Casetwister. I suppose there are some statutes?
Talon. Lots of them, sir.
Wordy. And also some decrees?
Talon. There are.
Gurgle. And, of course, there must be a special ukase.
Talon. There are several.
Grab. But clearest of all it is in the Institutes; you will find it in the chapter where ... about it——
Snare. Rather dark.
Wordy. It’s an ace and a jack.
Casetwister. And then we may apply the law of false pretences?
Talon. Of course, we may, sir! It fits the case.
Gurgle. And we bring the Reglement in accord with the Institutes....
Talon. Then all will agree with the above-mentioned ukase.
Gurgle. That’s it. You see, you can easily pass sentence.
Casetwister. Theodotos is out of the question. Deodatus is certainly a villain; so we will take Theodotos’s property and give it where it belongs. That’s my opinion.
Gurgle. Mine too.
Snare. And mine.
Wordy. And mine.
Gladly. A-a-and mine.
Grab. I agree with that unanimous opinion.
Pettifog. Thank you all.
Casetwister. ’Tis not hard to pick the laws.
Anna (aside, as she picks up the cards on the ground). And I will pick the cards.
Casetwister. Where is the punch?
Fékla. Anna! Be quick about it, and serve them often all around, and ask their favour.
Gurgle. Oh, we will soon ask hers.
Casetwister. Let’s have a song.
Wordy. Let’s throw away the cards: the queen has forsaken me.
Snare. You deal with a heavy hand.
Casetwister (to Grab). Dear Procurator! You have a good voice: give us a song!
Grab. Most gladly, but I have no voice.
Casetwister. The best way you can.
Gurgle. We will sing the refrain.
Grab (sings).
Take, you’ll learn the art with ease! Take whatever you can seize! God for this your hands did make, That you may take!
(All repeat: Take, take, take!)
(Sophia shuts her ears and goes away.)