Remarks upon Amphytrion, King Arthur, Don Quixote, and the Relapse.

SECTION I.

The following Plays, excepting the Last, will fall under the same Heads of Commendation with the Former. However, since the Poets have here been prodigal in their Expence, and dress'd themselves with more Curiosity then ordinary, they deserve a proportionable Regard. So much Finery must not be Crowded. I shall therefore make Elbow-Room for their Figure, and allow them the Compass of a distinct Chapter.

To begin with Amphytrion. In this Play Mr. Dryden represents Jupiter with the Attributes of the supream Being: He furnishes him with Omnipotence, makes him the Creator of Nature, and the Arbiter of Fate, puts all the Functions of Providence in his Hand, and describes him with the Majesty of the true God.Amphit. p. 1, 2, 3, 8, 9.^[353] And when he has put Him in this glorious Equipage, he brings him out for Diversion. He makes him express himself in the most intemperate Raptures:p. 8. 17.^[354] He is willing to Renounce his Heaven for his Brutality, and employ a whole Eternity in Lewdness. He draws his Debauch at its full Length, with all the Art, and Heightings, and Foulness of Idea immaginable. This Jupiter is not contented with his success against Amphitrion, unless he brings Alcmena into the Confederacy, and makes her a Party ex post Facto. He would not have her think of her Husband, but her Lover, that is, her Whoremaster. 'Tis not the success, but the manner of gaining it which is all in all. 'Tis the Vice which is the charming Circumstance. Innocence and Regularity, are dangerous Companions; They spoil Satisfaction, and make every Thing insipid! Unless People take care to discharge their Virtue, and clear off their Conscience, their Senses will vanish immediately! For Jupiter, says he,p. 18.^[355] would owe nothing to a Name so dull as Husband. And in the next Page.

I would give the Reader some more of these fine Sentences, but that they are too much out of Order to appear. The truth is, Our Stage-Poets seem to fence against Censure by the excess of Lewdness; And to make the overgrown size of a Crime, a Ground for Impunity. As if a Malefactor should project his Escape by appearing too scandalous for Publick Tryal. However, This is their Armour of Proof, this is the Strength they retreat to. They are fortified in Smut, and almost impregnable in Stench, so that where they deserve most, there's no coming at them. To proceed. I desire to know what Authority Mr. Dryden has for this extraordinary Representation? His Original Plautus, is no President. Indeed Plautus is the only bold Heathen that ever made Jupiter tread the Stage. But then he stops far short of the Liberties of the English Amphitrion. Jupiter at Rome, and London, have the same unaccountable Design; but the Methods of pursuit are very different. The First, does not solicit in scandalous Language, nor flourish upon his Lewdness, nor endeavours to set it up for the Fashion. Plautus had some regard to the Height of the Character, and the Opinion of his Country, and the Restraints of Modesty. The Sallies of Aristophanes do not come up to the case; And if they did, I have cut off the Succours from that Quarter already. Terence's Chærea. is the next bold Man:Eunuch.^[357] However, here the Fable of Jupiter and Danae are just glanced at, and the Expression is clean; and He that tells the Story, a Young Libertine. These are all circumstances of extenuation, and give quite another Complexion to the Thing. As for the Greek Tragedians and Seneca, there's no Prescription can be drawn from them. They mention Jupiter in Terms of Magnificence and Respect, and make his Actions, and his Nature of a piece. But it may be the Celebrated Homer, and Virgil may give Mr. Dryden some Countenance. Not at all. Virgil's Jupiter is alwaies great, and solemn, and keeps up the port of a Deity. 'Tis true, Homer does not guard the Idea with that exactness, but then He never sinks the Character into Obscenity. The most exceptionable passage is that where Jupiter relates his Love Adventures to Juno. Here this pretended Deity is charm'd with Venus's Girdle, is in the height of his Courtship, and under the Ascendant of his Passion. This 'tis confess'd was a slippery Place, and yet the Poet makes a shift to keep his Feet. His Jupiter is Little, but not nauseous; The Story, tho' improper, will bear the telling, and look Conversation in the Face. However; These Freedoms of Homer were counted intolerable: I shall not insist on the Censures of Justin Martyr, or Clemens Alexandrinus: Even the Heathen could not endure them. The Poets are lashed by Plato upon this Score; For planting Vice in Heaven, and making their Gods infectious; If Mr. Dryden answers that Jupiter can do us no Harm.Euseb. præpar. Evang.^[358] He is known to be an Idol of Lewd Memory, and therefore his Example can have no Force: Under Favour this is a mistake: For won't Pitch daub when a dirty Hand throws it; or can't a Toad spit Poyson because she's ugly? Ribaldry is dangerous under any Circumstances of Representation. And as Menander and St. Paul express it, Evil Communications corrupt good Manners. I mention them both, because if the Apostle should be dislik'd, the Comedian may pass. But after all, Mr. Dryden has not so much as a Heathen President for his Singularities. What then made him fall into them? Was it the Decency of the Thing, and the Propriety of Character, and Behaviour? By no means. For as I have observ'd before, Nature and Operations, ought to be proportion'd, and Behaviour suited to the Dignity of Being. To draw a Monkey in Royal Robes, and a Prince in Antick, would be Farce upon Colours, entertain like a Monster, and please only upon the score of Deformity. Why then does Mr. Dryden cross upon Nature and Authority, and go off as he Confesses, from the Plan of Plautus, and Moliere? Tho' by the way, the English Amphitryon has borrow'd most of the Libertine Thoughts of Moliere, and improv'd them. But to the former question. Why must the beaten Road be left? He tells us, That the difference of our Stage from the Roman and the French did so require it.Ep. Ded.^[359] That is, our Stage must be much more Licentious. For you are to observe that Mr. Dryden, and his Fraternity, have help'd to debauch the Town, and Poyson their Pleasures to an unusal Degree: And therefore the Diet must be dress'd to the Palate of the Company. And since they are made Scepticks, they must be entertain'd as such. That the English Amphitryon was contriv'd with this View is too plain to be better interpreted. To what purpose else does Jupiter appear in the shape of Jehovah? Why are the incommunicable Attributes burlesqu'd, and Omnipotence applyed to Acts of Infamy? To what end can such Horrible stuff as this serve, unless to expose the Notion, and extinguish the Belief of a Deity? The Perfections of God, are Himself. To ridicule his Attributes and his Being, are but two words for the same Thing. These Attributes are bestow'd on Jupiter with great Prodigality, and afterwards execrably outrag'd. The Case being thus, the Cover of an Idol, is too thin a pretence to Screen the Blasphemy. Nothing but Mr. Dryden's Absolom and Achitophel can out-do This. Here I confess the Motion of his Pen is bolder, and the Strokes more Black'd. Here we have Blasphemy on the top of the Letter, without any trouble of Inference, or Construction. This Poem runs all upon Scripture Names, Upon Suppositions of the true Religion, and the right Object of Worship. Here Profaness is shut out from Defence, and lies open without Colour or Evasion. Here are no Pagan Divinities in the Scheme, so that all the Atheistick Raillery must point upon the true God. In the beginning we are told that Absalom was David's Natural Son: So then there's a blot in his Scutcheon and a Blemish upon his Birth. The Poet will make admirable use of this, remark presently! This Absalom it seems was very extraordinary in his Person and Performances. Mr. Dryden does not certainly know how this came about, and therefore enquires of himself in the first place,

This is down right Defiance of the Living God! Here you have the very Essence and Spirit of Blasphemy, and the Holy Ghost brought in upon the most hideous Occasion. I question whether the Torments and Despair of the Damn'd, dare venture at such Flights as these. They are beyond Description, I Pray God they may not be beyond Pardon too. I can't forbear saying, that the next bad Thing to the writing these Impieties, is to Suffer them. To return to Amphitryon. Phœbus and Mercury have Manners assign'd very disagreeable to their Condition. The later abating Propriety of Language, talks more like a Water-man than a Deity. They rail against the Gods, and call Mars and Vulcan the two Fools of Heaven. Mercury is pert upon his Father Jupiter, makes jests upon his Pleasures, and his Greatness, and is horribly smutty and profane.p. 3, 16, etc.^[361] And all this Misbehaviour comes from him in his own shape, and in the sublimity of his Character. Had He run Riot in the Disguise of Sofia, the Discourse and the Person had been better adjusted, and the Extravagance more Pardonable. But here the Decorum is quite lost. To see the Immortals play such Gambols, and the biggest Beings do the least Actions, is strangely unnatural. An Emperour in the Grimaces of an Ape, or the Diversions of a Kitten, would not be half so ridiculous. Now as Monsieur Rapin observes, without Decorum there can be no probability, nor without Probability any true Beauty. Nature must be minded, otherwise Things will look forced, tawdry, and chimerical. Mr. Dryden discourses very handsomly on this occasion in his Preface to Albion and Albanius.p. 1.^[362] He informs us, That Wit has been truly defin'd a propriety of Words and Thoughts.——That Propriety of Thought is that Fancy which arises naturally from the Subject. Why then without doubt, the Quality, of Characters should be taken care of, and great Persons appear like themselves. Yes, yes, all this is granted by implication, and Mr. Dryden comes still nearer to the present case. He tells us, that Propriety is to be observed, even in Machines; And that the Gods are all to manage their Peculiar Provinces. He instances in some of their respective Employments; but I don't find that any of them were to talk Lewdly. No. He plainly supposes the contrary. For as he goes on, If they were to speak upon the Stage it would follow of necessity, that the Expressions should be Lofty, Figurative, and Majestical. It seems then their Behaviour should be agreeable to their Greatness. Why then are not these Rules observ'd, in the Machines of Amphitrion? As I take it, Obscenity has not the Air of Majesty, nor any Alliance with the Sublime. And as for the Figurative Part, 'tis generally of the same Cut with the Lofty: The Smut shines clear, and strong, through the Metaphor, and is no better screen'd than the Sun by a Glass Window. To use Mercury thus ill, and make the God of Eloquence speak so unlike himself is somewhat strange! But tho' the Antients knew nothing of it, there are Considerations above those of Decency. And when this happens, A Rule must rather be trespass'd on, than a Beauty left out. 'Tis Mr. Dryden's opinion in his Cleomenes, where he breaks the Unity of Time, to describe the Beauty of a Famine.Pref.^[363] Now Beauty is an arbitrary Advantage, and depends upon Custom and Fancy. With some People the Blackest Complexions are the handsomest. 'Tis to these African Criticks that Mr. Dryden seems to make his Appeal. And without doubt he bespeaks their Favour, and strikes their Imagination luckily enough. For to lodge Divinity and Scandal together; To make the Gods throw Stars, like Snow-balls at one another, but especially to Court in Smut, and rally in Blasphemy, is most admirably entertaining! This is much better than all the Niceties of Decorum. 'Tis handsomly contriv'd to slur the Notion of a Superiour Nature, to disarm the Terrors of Religion, and make the Court Above as Romantick as that of the Fairies. A Libertine when his Conscience is thus reliev'd, and Atheism sits easie upon his Spirits, can't help being grateful upon the Occasion. Meer Interest will oblige him to cry up the Performance, and solicit for the Poets Reputation! Before I take leave of these Machines, it may not be amiss to enquire why the Gods are brought into the Spiritual Court.p. 1.^[364] Now I suppose the Creditableness of the Business, and the Poets Kindness to those Places, are the principal Reasons of their coming. However. He might have a farther Design in his Head, and that is, to bring Thebes to London, and to show the Antiquity of Doctors Commons. For if you will believe Mercury, this Conference between him and Phœbus was held three thousand years ago.19.^[365] Thus Shakespear makes Hector talk about Aristotles Philosophy,Troil. and Cressid. The Hist. of Sr. John Old Castle.^[366] and calls Sr. John Old Castle, Protestant.^[367] I had not mention'd this Discovery in Chronology, but that Mr. Dryden falls upon Ben Johnson, for making Cataline give Fire at the Face of a Cloud, before Guns were invented.

By the Pattern of these pretended Deities, we may guess what sort of Mortals we are likely to meet with. Neither are we mistaken. For Phædra, is bad enough in all Conscience, but Bromia is a meer Original. Indeed when Mr. Dryden makes Jupiter, and Jupiter makes the Women, little less can be expected. So much for Amphitrion.

I shall pass on to King Arthur for a word or two.King Arthur.^[368] Now here is a strange jumble and Hotch potch of Matters, if you mind it. Here we have Genii, and Angels, Cupids, Syrens, and Devils; Venus and St. George, Pan and the Parson, the Hell of Heathenism, and the Hell of Revelation; A fit of Smut, and then a Jest about Original Sin. And why are Truth and Fiction, Heathenism and Christianity, the most Serious and the most Trifling Things blended together, and thrown into one Form of Diversion? Why is all this done unless it be to ridicule the whole, and make one as incredible as the other? His Airy and Earthy Spirits discourse of the first state of Devils, of their Chief of their Revolt, their Punishment, and Impostures. This Mr. Dryden very Religiously calls a Fairy way of Writing, which depends only on the Force of Imagination.Ep. Ded.^[369] What then is the Fall of the Angels a Romance? Has it no basis of Truth, nothing to support it, but strength of Fancy, and Poetick Invention? After He had mention'd Hell, Devils, &c. and given us a sort of Bible description of these formidable Things; I say after he had formed his Poem in this manner, I am surprized to hear him call it a Fairy kind of Writing. Is the History of Tophet no better prov'd than that of Styx? Is the Lake of Brimstone and that of Phlegeton alike dreadful? And have we as much Reason to believe the Torments of Titius and Prometheus, as those of the Devils and Damn'd? These are lamentable Consequences! And yet I can't well see how the Poet can avoid them. But setting aside this miserable Gloss in the Dedication, the Representation it self is scandalously irreligious. To droll upon the Vengeance of Heaven, and the Miseries of the Damn'd, is a sad Instance of Christianity! Those that bring Devils upon the Stage, can hardly believe them any where else. Besides, the Effects of such an Entertainment must needs be admirable! To see Hell thus play'd with is a mighty Refreshment to a lewd Conscience, and a byass'd Understanding. It heartens the Young Libertine, and confirms the well-wishers to Atheism, and makes Vice bold, and enterprising. Such Diversions serve to dispel the Gloom, and guild the Horrors of the Shades below, and are a sort of Ensurance against Damnation. One would think these Poets went upon absolute Certainty, and could demonstrate a Scheme of Infidelity. If they could, They had much better keep the Secret. The divulging it tends only to debauch Mankind, and shake the Securities of Civil Life. However, if they have been in the other World and find it empty, and uninhabited, and are acquainted with all the Powers, and Places, in Being; If they can show the Impostures of Religion, and the Contradictions of Common Belief, they have something to say for themselves. Have they then infallible Proof and Mathematick Evidence for these Discoveries? No Man had ever the Confidence to say This; And if He should, he would be but laughed at for his Folly. No Conclusions can exceed the Evidence of their Principles; you may as well build a Castle in the Air, as raise a Demonstration upon a Bottom of Uncertainty. And is any Man so vain as to pretend to know the Extent of Nature, and the Stretch of Possibility, and the Force of the Powers Invisible? So that notwithstanding the Boldness of this Opera, there may be such a Place as Hell; And if so, a Discourse about Devils, will be no Fairy way of Writing. For a Fairy way of Writing, is nothing but a History of Fiction; A subject of Imaginary Beings; such as never had any existence in Time, or Nature. And if as Monsieur Rapin observes, Poetry requires a mixture of Truth and Fable; Mr. Dryden may make his advantage, for his Play is much better founded on Reality than He was aware of.

It may not be improper to consider in a word or two, what a frightfull Idea the Holy Scriptures give us of Hell. 'Tis describ'd by all the Circumstances of Terror, by every Thing dreadful to Sense, and amazing to Thought. The Place, the Company, the Duration, are all Considerations of Astonishment. And why has God given us this solemn warning? Is it not to awaken our Fears, and guard our Happiness; To restrain the Disorders of Appetite, and to keep us within Reason, and Duty? And as for the Apostate Angels, the Scriptures inform us of their lost Condition, of their Malice and Power, of their active Industry and Experience; and all these Qualities Correspondent to the Bulk of their Nature, the Antiquity of their Being, and the Misery of their State. In short, They are painted in all the formidable Appearances imaginable, to alarm our Caution, and put us upon the utmost Defence.

Let us see now how Mr. Dryden represents these unhappy Spirits, and their Place of Abode. Why very entertainingly! Those that have a true Tast for Atheism were never better regaled. One would think by this Play the Devils were meer Mormo's and Bugbears, fit only to fright Children and Fools. They rally upon Hell and Damnation, with a great deal of Air and Pleasantry; and appear like Robin Good-fellow, only to make the Company laugh. Philidel: Is call'd a Puling Sprite. And why so? For this pious reason, because

The answer is, What a half Devil's he.

You see how admirably it runs all upon the Christian Scheme! Sometimes they are Half-Devils, and sometimes Hopeful-Devils, and what you please to make sport with. Grimbald is afraid of being whooped through Hell at his return, for miscarrying in his Business. It seems there is great Leisure for Diversion! There's Whooping in Hell, instead of Weeping and Wailing! One would fancy Mr. Dryden had Daylight and Company, when these Lines were written. I know his Courage is extraordinary; But sure such Thoughts could never bear up against Solitude and a Candle!

And now since he has diverted himself with the Terrors of Christianity, I dont wonder he, should treat those that Preach them with so much Civility! enter Poet in the Habit of a Peasant.

These are fine comprehensive stroaks! Here you have the Iliads in a Nutshell! Two or three courtly words take in the whole Clergy; And what is wanting in Wit, is made up in Abuse, and that's as well. This is an admirable Harvest Catch, and the poor Tith-stealers stand highly indebted. They might have been tired with Cheating in Prose, had not they not been thus seasonably releiv'd in Doggrell! But now there is Musick in playing the Knave. A Countryman now may fill his Barn, and humour his ill Manners, and sing his Conscience asleep, and all under one. I dont question but these four Lines steal many a Pound in the year. Whether the Muse stands indictable or not, the Law must determine: But after all, I must say the Design is notably laid. For Place and Person, for Relish and Convenience; nothing could have been better. The Method is very short, clear, and Practicable. 'Tis a fine portable Infection, and costs no more Carriage than the Plague.

Well! the Clergy must be contented: It might possibly have been worse for them if they had been in his favour: For he has sometimes a very unlucky way of showing his Kindness. He commends the Earl of Leicester for considering the Friend, more than the Cause;Ep. Ded. Don Sebast.^[371] that is, for his Partiality; The Marquess of Halifax for quitting the Helm, at the approach of a Storm;Ded. King Arthur.^[372] As if Pilots were made only for fair Weather. 'Tis Presum'd these Noble Persons are unconcern'd in this Character. However the Poet has shown his skill in Panegyrick, and 'tis only for that I mention it. He commends Atticus for his Trimming, and Tally for his Cowardize, and speaks meanly of the Bravery of Cato.Sebast. K. Arth. Ibid.^[373] Afterwards he professes his Zeal for the Publick welfare, and is pleas'd to see the Nation so well secur'd from Foreign Attempts &c.^[374] However he is in some pain about the Coming of the Gauls; 'Tis possible for fear they should invade the Muses, and carry the Opera's into Captivity, and deprive us of the Ornaments of Peace.

And now He has serv'd his Friends, he comes in the last place like a modest Man, to commend Himself. He tells us there were a great many Beauties in the Original Draught of this Play. But it seems Time has since tarnish'd their Complexion. And He gives Heroick Reasons for their not appearing. To speak Truth, (all Politicks apart,) there are strange Flights of Honour, and Consistencies of Pretention in this Dedication! But I shall forbear the Blazon of the Atcheivment, for fear I should commend as unluckily as Himself.

SECT. II.

Remarks upon Don Quixot, &c.

Mr. Durfey being somewhat particular in his Genius and Civilities, I shall consider him in a word or two by himself. This Poet writes from the Romance of an ingenious Author: By this means his Sense, and Characters are cut out to his Hand. He has wisely planted himself upon the shoulders of a Giant; but whether his Discoveries answer the advantage of his standing, the Reader must judge.

What I have to object against Mr. Durfey shall most of it be ranged under these three Heads.

I. His Profaness with respect to Religion and the Holy Scriptures.

II. His Abuse of the Clergy.

III. His want of Modesty and Regard to the Audience.

I. His Profaness, &c.

And here my first Instance shall be in a bold Song against Providence.

Here the Poet tells you Providence makes Mankind by halves, huddles up the Soul, and takes the least care of the better Moyety. This is direct blaspheming the Creation, and a Satir upon God Almighty. His next advance is to droll upon the Resurrection.

His Third Song makes a jest of the Fall, rails upon Adam and Eve, and burlesques the Conduct of God Almighty for not making Mankind over again.

In this and the following page, the Redemption of the World is treated with the same respect with the Creation. The word Redeemer, which among Christians is appropriated to our Blessed Saviour, and like the Jewish Tetragrammaton peculiarly reserv'd to the Deity; This adorable Name (Redeemer and Dear Redeemer,) is applyed to the ridiculous Don Quixote. These Insolencies are too big for the Correction of a Pen, and therefore I shall leave them. After this horrible abuse of the Works, and Attributes of God, he goes on to make sport with his Vengeance. He makes the Torments of Hell a very Comical Entertainment: As if they were only Flames in Painting, and Terrors in Romance. The Stygian Frogs in Aristophanes are not represented with more Levity, and Drolling. That the Reader may see I do him no wrong, I shall quote the places which is the main Reason why I have transcrib'd the rest of his Profaness.

In the Epilogue you have the History of Balaam's Ass exposed, and the Beast brought upon the Stage to laugh at the Miracle the better;

In the second Part the Devil is brought upon the Stage.p. 13.^[378] He cries as he hopes to be Saved. And Sancho warrants him a good Christian. Truly I think he may have more of Christianity in him than the Poet. For he trembles at that God, with whom the other makes Diversion.

I shall omit the mention of several outrages of this Kind, besides his deep mouth'd swearing, which is frequent, and pass on to the Second Head, which is His Abuse of the Clergy. And since Reveal'd Religion has been thus horribly treated, 'tis no Wonder if the Ministers of it have the same Usage.

And here we are likely to meet with some passages extraordinary enough. For to give Mr. Durfey his due, when he meddles with Church men he lays about him like a Knight Errant: Here his Wit and his Malice, are generally in extreams, tho' not of the same Kind. To begin. He makes the Curate Perez assist at the ridiculous Ceremony of Don Quixots Knighting.Part. 1. p. 13.^[379] Afterwards Squire Sancho confessing his mistake to Quixote, tells him, Ah consider dear Sir no man is born wise. And what if he was born wise? He may be Bred a Fool, if he has not a care. But how does he prove this Memorable Sentence? Because a Bishop is no more than another man without Grace and Good Breeding. I must needs say if the Poet had any share of either of these Qualities, he would be less bold with his Superiors; and not give his Clowns the Liberty to droll thus heavily upon a solemn Character. This Sancho Mr. Durfey takes care to inform us is a dry shrewd Country Fellow, The reason of this Character is for the strength of it somewhat surprising.Person. Dram.^[380] 'Tis because he blunders out Proverbs upon all Occasions, tho' never so far from the purpose. Now if blundring and talking nothing to the purpose, is an argument of Shrewdness; some Peoples Plays are very shrewd Performances. To proceed. Sancho complains of his being married, because it hindred him from better offers. Perez the Curate is sorry for this Misfortune. For as I remember says he 'twas my luck to give Teresa and you the Blessing. To this Sancho replies. A Plague on your Blessing! I perceive I shall have reason to wish you hang'd for your Blessing——Good finisher of Fornication, good Conjunction Copulative.p. 51.^[381] For this irreverence and Profaness Perez threatens him with Excommunication. Sancho tells him, I care not, I shall lose nothing by it but a nap in the Afternoon. In his Second Part, Jodolet a Priest is call'd a Holy Cormorant, and made to dispatch half a Turkey, and a Bottle of Malaga for his Breakfast.p. 3.^[382] Here one Country Girl chides another for her sawcyness. D'ee (says she) make a Pimp of a Priest? Sancho interposes with his usual shrewdness: A Pimp of a Priest, why is that such a Miracle? In the Second Scene the Poet Provides himself another Priest to abuse.p. 7.^[383] Mannel the Steward calls Bernardo the Chaplain Mr. Cuff-Cushion, and tells him a Whore is a Pulpit he loves.——In settling the Characters Mannel is given out for a witty pleasant Fellow. And now you see he comes up to Expectation. To the Blind all Colours are alike, and Rudeness, and Raillery are the same thing!p. 10.^[384] Afterwards, Bernardo says Grace upon the Stage; and I suppose Prays to God to bless the Entertainment of the Devil. Before they rise from Table, the Poet contrives a Quarrel between Don Quixot and Bernardo. The Priest railes on the Knight, and calls him Don Coxcomb &c. By this time you may imagine the Knight heartily Provok'd, ready to buckle on his Bason, and draw out for the Combat, Let us hear his Resentment.

Don Quix. Oh thou old black Fox with a Fire brand in thy Tail, thou very Priest: Thou Kindler of all Mischeifs in all Nations. De'e hear Homily: Did not the Reverence I bear these Nobles——I would so thrum your Cassock you Church Vermin.p. 41.^[385]

At last he bids Bernardo adieu in Language too Profane and Scandalous to relate.p. 47.^[386] In the Fourth Act His Song calls the Clergy Black Cattle, and says no Body now minds what they say. I could alledge more of his Courtship to the Order, but the Reader might possibly be tired, and therefore I shall proceed in the

Third, place to his want of Modesty, and Regard to the Audience. As for Smut Sancho and Teresa talk it broad, and single sens'd, for almost a page together.Part. 1st. p. 7, 8. pt. 2d. p. 57.^[387] Mary the Buxsom has likewise her share of this Accomplishment. The first Epilogue is Garnish'd with a Couplet of it;pt. 2d. p. 60;^[388] Marcella the Maiden Shepherdess raves in Raptures of Indecency; And sometimes you have it mixt up with Profaness, to make the Composition the stronger.pt. 1st. p. 38. pt. 2d. p. 14.^[389] But this entertainment being no Novelty, I shall pass it over; And the rather because there are some other Rarities which are not to be met with else where.

Here he diverts the Ladies with the Charming Rhetorick of Snotty-Nose, filthy Vermin in the Beard, Nitty Jerkin, and Louse Snapper, with the Letter in the Chamber-pot, and natural Evacuation;pt. 1st. p. 7, 8. pt. 2d. p. 52. pt. 2d. p. 36, 49. pt. 2d. p. 37. 44.^[390] with an abusive description of a Countess, and a rude story of a certain Lady, and with some other varieties of this Kind, too coarse to be named. This is rare stuff for Ladies, and Quality! There is more of Physick, than Comedy in such Sentences as these. Crocus Metallorum will scarse turn the Stomack more effectually. 'Tis possible Mr. Durfey might design it for a Receipt. And being Conscious the Play was too dear, threw a Vomit into the Bargain.Pref. pt. 3d.^[391] I wonder Mr. Durfey should have no more regard to the Boxes and Pitt! That a Man who has studied the Scenes of Decency and Good Manners with so much Zeal, should practise with so little Address! Certainly indefatigable Diligence, Care and Pains, was never more unfortunate!Ibid.^[392] In his third Part, Buxsome swears faster, and is more scandalous, and impertinent, than in the other two. At these Liberties, and some in Sancho, the Ladies took Check. This Censure Mr. Durfey seems heartily sorry for. He is extreamly concern'd that the Ladies, that Essential part of the Audience, should think his Performance nauseous and undecent.Pref.^[393] That is, he is very sorry they brought their Wits, or their Modesty along with them. However Mr. Durfey is not so Ceremonious as to submit: He is resolved to keep the Field against the Ladies; And endeavours to defend himself by saying, I know no other way in Nature to do the Characters right, but to make a Romp, speak like a Romp, and a clownish Boor blunder &c.Ibid.^[394]

By his favour, all Imitations tho' never so well Counterfeited are not proper for the Stage. To present Nature under every Appearance would be an odd undertaking. A Midnight Cart, or a Dunghil would be no Ornamental Scene. Nastyness, and dirty Conversation are of the same kind. For Words are a Picture to the Ear, as Colours and Surface are to the Eye. Such Discourses are like dilating upon Ulcers, and Leprosies: The more Natural, the worse; for the Disgust always rises with the Life of the Description. Offensive Language like offensive Smells, does but make a Man's Senses a burthen, and affords him nothing but Loathing and Aversion. Beastliness in Behaviour, gives a disparaging Idea of Humane Nature, and almost makes us sorry we are of the same Kind. For these reasons 'tis a Maxime in Good Breeding never to shock the Senses, or Imagination. This Rule holds strongest before Women, and especially when they come to be entertain'd. The Diversion ought to be suited to the Audience; For nothing pleases which is disproportion'd to Capacity, and Gust. The Rudenesses and broad Jests of Beggars, are just as acceptable to Ladies as their Rags, and Cleanliness. To treat Persons of Condition like the Mob, is to degrade their Birth, and affront their Breeding. It levells them with the lowest Education. For the size of a Man's Sense, and Improvement, is discovered by his Pleasures, as much as by any thing else.

But to remove from Scenes of Decency, to Scenes of Wit. And here Mannel and Sancho, two pleasant sharp Fellows, will divert us extreamly.Person. Dram.^[395] Mannel in the Disguise of a Lady addresses the Dutchess in this manner. Illustrious Beauty——I must desire to know whether the most purifidiferous Don Quixote of the Manchissima, and his Squireiferous Panca, be in this Company or no. This is the Ladies speech! Now comes Sancho. Why look you forsooth, without any more Flourishes, the Governour Panca is here, and Don Quixotissimo too; therefore most afflictedissimous Matronissima, speak what you willissimus, for we are all ready to be your Servitorissimus.pt. 2d. p. 31.^[396]

I dare not go on, for fear of overlaying the Reader. He may cloy himself at his Leisure. The Scene between the Taylor and Gardiner, lies much in the same Latitude of Understanding.p. 51.^[397]

The Third Part presents a set of Poppets, which is a Thought good enough; for this Play is only fit to move upon Wires. 'Tis pity these little Machines appear'd no sooner, for then the Sense, and the Actors had been well adjusted. In explaining the Persons, He acquaints us that Carasco is a Witty Man. I can't tell what the Gentleman might be in other Places, but I'm Satisfied he is a Fool in his Play. But some Poets are as great Judges of Wit, as they are an instance; And have the Theory and the Practise just alike.

Mr. Durfeys Epistles Dedicatory are to the full as diverting as his Comedies. A little of them may not be amiss.

In his first, He thus addresses the Dutches of Ormond. 'Tis Madam from your Graces Prosperous Influence that I date my Good Fortune. To Date from time and Place, is vulgar and ordinary, and many a Letter has miscarried with it: But to do it from an Influence, is Astrological, and surprizing, and agrees extreamly with the Hemisphere of the Play-house.Pref. pt. 1st. Ibid.^[398] These Flights one would easily imagine were the Poor Off-spring of Mr. Durfey's Brain, as he very judiciously phrases it.^[399]

One Paragraph in his Dedication to Mr. Montague is perfect Quixotism; One would almost think him enchanted. I'll give the Reader a Tast.

Had your Eye's shot the haughty Austerity upon me of a right Courtier,——your valued minutes had never been disturb'd with dilatory Trifles of this Nature, but my Heart on dull Consideration of your Merit, had supinely wish'd you prosperity at a Distance.pt. 3d.^[400] I'm afraid the Poet was under some Apprehensions of the Temper he complains of. For to my thinking, there is a great deal of Supiness, and dull Consideration in these Periods. He tells his Patron his Smiles have embolden'd him. I confess I can't see how He could forbear smiling at such Entertainment. However Mr. Durfey takes Things by the best Handle, and is resolv'd to be happy in his Interpretation. But to be serious. Were I the Author, I would discharge my Muse unless she prov'd kinder. His way is rather to cultivate his Lungs, and Sing to other Peoples Sense; For to finish him in a word, he is Vox, & præterea nihil. I speak this only on Supposition that the rest of his Performances are like These. Which because I have not perused I can judge of no farther than by the Rule of ex pede Herculem. I shall conclude with Monsieur Boileau's Art of Poetry. This citation may possibly be of some service to Mr. Durfey; For if not concern'd in the Application, he may at least be precaution'd by the Advice.

SECT. III.

Remarks upon the Relapse.

The Relapse shall follow Don Quixot; upon the account of some Alliance between them. And because this Author swaggers so much in his Preface, and seems to look big upon his Performance, I shall spend a few more thoughts than ordinary upon his Play, and examine it briefly in the Fable, the Moral, the Characters, &c. The Fable I take to be as follows.

Fashion a Lewd, Prodigal, younger Brother; is reduced to extremity: Upon his arrival from his Travels, he meets with Coupler, an old sharping Match-maker; This Man puts him upon a project of cheating his Elder Brother Lord Foplington, of a rich Fortune. Young Fashion being refused a Summ of Money by his Brother, goes into Couplers Plot, bubbles Sir Tunbelly of his Daughter, and makes himself Master of a fair Estate.

From the Form and Constitution of the Fable, I observe

1st. That there is a Misnommer in the Title. The Play should not have been call'd the Relapse, or Virtue in Danger: Lovelace, and Amanda, from whose Characters these Names are drawn, are Persons of Inferiour Consideration. Lovelace sinks in the middle of the Fourth Act, and we hear no more of him till towards the End of the Fifth, where he enters once more, but then 'tis as Cato did the Senate house, only to go out again. And as for Amanda she has nothing to do but to stand a shock of Courtship, and carry off her Virtue. This I confess is a great task in the Play-house, but no main matter in the Play.

The Intrigue, and the Discovery, the great Revolution and success, turns upon Young Fashion. He without Competition, is the Principal Person in the Comedy. And therefore the Younger Brother, or the Fortunate Cheat, had been much a more proper Name. Now when a Poet can't rig out a Title Page, 'tis but a bad sign of his holding out to the Epilogue.

2ly. I observe the Moral is vitious: It points the wrong way, and puts the Prize into the wrong Hand. It seems to make Lewdness the reason of Desert, and gives Young Fashion a second Fortune, only for Debauching away his First. A short view of his Character, will make good this Reflection. To begin with him: He confesses himself a Rake, swears, and Blasphemes, Curses, and Challenges his Elder Brother, cheats him of his Mistress, and gets him laid by the Heels in a Dog-Kennel. And what was the ground of all this unnatural quarrelling and outrage? Why the main of it was only because Lord Foplington refused to supply his Luxury, and make good his Extravagance. This Young Fashion after all, is the Poets Man of Merit. He provides, a Plot and a Fortune, on purpose for him. To speak freely, A Lewd Character seldom wants good Luck in Comedy. So that when ever you see a thorough Libertine, you may almost swear he is in a rising way, and that the Poet intends to make him a great Man. In short; This Play perverts the End of Comedy: Which as Monsieur Rapin observes ought to regard Reformation, and publick Improvement. But the Relapser had a more fashionable Fancy in his Head.Reflect, &c. p. 131.^[402] His Moral holds forth this notable Instruction.

1st. That all Younger Brothers should be careful to run out their Circumstances as Fast, and as Ill as they can. And when they have put their Affairs in this posture of Advantage, they may conclude themselves in the high Road to Wealth, and Success. For as Fashion Blasphemously applies it, Providence takes care of Men of Merit.Relapse. p. 19^[403]

2ly. That when a Man is press'd, his business is not to be govern'd by Scruples, or formalize upon Conscience and Honesty. The quickest Expedients are the best; For in such cases the Occasion justifies the Means, and a Knight of the Post, is as good as one of the Garter. In the

3d. Place it may not be improper to look a little into the Plot. Here the Poet ought to play the Politician if ever. This part should have some stroaks, of Conduct, and strains of Invention more then ordinary. There should be something that is admirable, and unexpected to surprize the Audience. And all this Finess must work by gentle degrees, by a due preparation of Incidents, and by Instruments which are probable.Reflect. p. 133.^[404] 'Tis Mr. Rapins remark, that without probability every Thing is lame and Faulty. Where there is no pretence to Miracle and Machine, matters must not exceed the force of Beleif. To produce effects without proportion; and likelyhood in the Cause, is Farce, and Magick, and looks more like Conjuring than Conduct. Let us examine the Relapser by these Rules. To discover his Plot, we must lay open somewhat more of the Fable.

'Lord Foplington a Town Beau, had agreed to Marry the Daughter of Sir. Tun-belly Clumsey a Country Gentleman, who lived Fifty miles from London. Notwithstanding this small distance, the Lord had never seen his Mistress, nor the Knight his Son in Law. Both parties out of their great Wisdom, leave the treating the Match to Coupler. When all the preliminaries of Settlement were adjusted, and Lord Foplington expected by Sir Tun-belly in a few days, Coupler betrays his Trust to Young Fashion. He advises him to go down before his Brother: To Counterfeit his Person, and pretend that the strength of his Inclinations brought him thither before his time, and without his Retinue. And to make him pass upon Sir Tun-belly, Coupler gives him his Letter, which was to be Lord Foplingtons Credential. Young Fashion thus provided, posts down to Sir Tun-belly, is received for Lord Foplington, and by the help of a little Folly and Knavery in the Family, Marries the young Lady without her Fathers Knowledge, and a week before the Appointment.

This is the Main of the Contrivance. The Counterturn in Lord Foplingtons appearing afterwards, and the Support of the main Plot, by Bulls, and Nurses attesting the Marriage, contain's little of Moment. And here we may observe that Lord Foplington has an unlucky Disagreement in his Character; This Misfortune sits hard upon the credibility of the Design. Tis true he was Formal and Fantastick, Smitten with Dress, and Equipage, and it may be vapour'd by his Perfumes But his Behaviour is far from that of an Ideot.p. 27.^[405] This being granted, 'tis very unlikely this Lord with his five Thousand pounds per annum, should leave the choise of his Mistress to Coupler, and take her Person and Fortune upon Content. To court thus blindfold, and by Proxy, does not agree with the Method of an Estate, nor the Niceness of a Beau. However the Poet makes him engage Hand over Head, without so much as the sight of her Picture.p. 79.^[406] His going down to Sir Tun-belly was as extraordinary as his Courtship. He had never seen this Gentleman. He must know him to be beyond Measure suspicious, and that there was no Admittance without Couplers Letter. This Letter which was, the Key to the Castle, he forgot to take with him, and tells you 'twas stolen by his Brother Tam. And for his part he neither had the Discretion to get another, nor yet to produce that written by him to Sir Tun-belly.Ibid.^[407] Had common Sense been consulted upon this Occasion, the Plot had been at an End, and the Play had sunk in the Fourth Act. The Remainder subsists purely upon the strength of Folly, and of Folly altogether improbable, and out of Character. The Salvo of Sir John Friendly's appearing at last, and vouching for Lord Foplington, won't mend the matter. For as the Story informs us, Lord Foplington never depended on this Reserve.p. 81.^[408] He knew nothing of this Gentleman being in the Country, nor where he Lived. The truth is, Sir John was left in Town, and the Lord had neither concerted his journey with him, nor engaged his Assistance.p. 83.^[409]

Let us now see how Sir. Tun-belly hangs together. This Gentleman the Poet makes a Justice of Peace, and a Deputy Lieutenant, and seats him fifty Miles from London: But by his Character you would take him for one of Hercules's Monsters, or some Gyant in Guy of Warwick. His Behaviour is altogether Romance, and has nothing agreeable to Time, or Country. When Fashion, and Lory, went down, they find the Bridge drawn up, the Gates barr'd, and the Blunderbuss cock'd at the first civil Question. And when Sir Tun-belly had notice of this formidable Appearance, he Sallies out with the Posse of the Family, and marches against a Couple of Strangers with a Life Gaurd of Halberds, Sythes, and Pitchforks. And to make sure work, Young Hoyden is lock'd up at the first approach of the Enemy. Here you have prudence and wariness to the excess of Fable, and Frensy. And yet this mighty man of suspition, trusts Coupler with the Disposal of his only Daughter, and his Estate into the Bargain. And what was this Coupler? Why, a sharper by Character, and little better by Profession. Farther. Lord Foplington and the Knight, are but a days Journey asunder, and yet by their treating by Proxy, and Commission, one would Fancy a dozen Degrees of Latitude betwixt them. And as for Young Fashion, excepting Couplers Letter, he has all imaginable Marks of Imposture upon him. He comes before his Time, and without the Retinue expected, and has nothing of the Air of Lord Foplington's Conversation. When Sir Tun-belly ask'd him, pray where are your Coaches and Servants my Lord? He makes a trifling excuse. Sir, that I might give you and your Fair Daughter a proof how impatient I am to be nearer akin to you, I left my Equipage to follow me, and came away Post, with only one Servant.p. 59.^[410] To be in such a Hurry of Inclination for a Person he never saw, is somewhat strange! Besides, 'tis very unlikely Lord Foplington should hazard his Complexion on Horseback, out ride his Figure, and appear a Bridegroom in Deshabille. You may as soon perswade a Peacock out of his Train, as a Beau out of his Equipage; especially upon such an Occasion. Lord Foplington would scarsely speak to his Brother just come a Shore, till the Grand Committee of Taylors, Seamtresses, &c. was dispatch'd.p. 11.^[411] Pomp, and Curiosity were this Lords Inclination; why then should he mortifie without necessity, make his first Approaches thus out of Form and present himself to his Mistress at such Disadvantage? And as this is the Character of Lord Foplington, so 'tis reasonable to suppose Sir Tunbelly acquainted with it. An enquiry into the Humour and management of a Son in Law, is very natural and Customary. So that we can't without Violence to Sense, suppose Sir Tunbelly a Stranger to Lord Foplington's Singularities. These Reasons were enough in all Conscience to make Sir Tunbelly suspect a Juggle, and that Fashion was no better then a Counterfeit. Why then was the Credential swallow'd without chewing, why was not Hoyden lock'd up, and a pause made for farther Enquiry? Did this Justice never hear of such a Thing as Knavery, or had he ever greater reason to guard against it? More wary steps might well have been expected from Sir Tunbelly. To run from one extream of Caution, to another of Credulity, is highly improbable. In short, either Lord Foplington and Sir Tunbelly are Fools, or they are not. If they are, where lies the Cunning in over-reaching them? What Conquest can there be without Opposition? If they are not Fools, why does the Poet make them so? Why is their Conduct so gross, so particolour'd, and inconsistent? Take them either way, and the Plot miscarries. The first supposition makes it dull, and the later, incredible. So much for the Plot. I shall now in the

4th. Place touch briefly upon the Manners.

The Manners in the Language of the Stage have a signification somewhat particular. Aristotle and Rapin call them the Causes and Principles of Action. They are formed upon the Diversities of Age, and Sex, of Fortune, Capacity, and Education. The propriety of Manners consists in a Conformity of Practise, and Principle; of Nature, and Behaviour. For the purpose. An old Man must not appear with the Profuseness and Levity of Youth; A Gentleman must not talk like a Clown, nor a Country Girl like a Town Jilt. And when the Characters are feign'd 'tis Horace's Rule to keep them Uniform, and consistent, and agreeable to their first setting out. The Poet must be careful to hold his Persons tight to their Calling and pretentions. He must not shift, and shuffle, their Understandings; Let them skip from Wits to Blockheads, nor from Courtiers to Pedants; On the other hand. If their business is playing the Fool, keep them strictly to their Duty, and never indulge them in fine Sentences. To manage otherwise, is to desert Nature, and makes the Play appear monstrous, and Chimerical. So that instead of an Image of Life, 'tis rather an Image of Impossibility. To apply some of these remarks to the Relapser.

The fine Berinthia, one of the Top-Characters, is impudent and Profane. Lovelace would engage her Secrecy, and bids her Swear. She answers I do.

Lov. By what?

Berinth. By Woman.

Lov. That's Swearing by my Deity, do it by your own, or I shan't believe you.

Berinth. By Man then.p. 47.^[412]

This Lady promises Worthy her Endeavours to corrupt Amanda; and then They make a Profane jest upon the Office.p. 51.^[413] In the progress of the Play after a great deal of Lewd Discourse with Lovelace, Berinthia is carried off into a Closet, and Lodged in a Scene of Debauch.p. 74.^[414] Here is Decency, and Reservedness, to a great exactness! Monsieur Rapin blames Ariosto, and Tasso, for representing two of their Women over free, and airy.Reflect. p. 40.^[415] These Poets says he, rob Women of their Character, which is Modesty. Mr. Rymer is of the same Opinion: His words are these. Nature knows nothing in the Manners which so properly, and particularly distinguish a Woman, as her Modesty.——An impudent Woman is fit only to be kicked, and expos'd in Comedy.Tragedies of the last Age consider'd, &c. p. 113, 114.^[416]

Now Berinthia appears in Comedy 'tis true; but neither to be kick'd, nor expos'd. She makes a Considerable Figure, has good Usage, keeps the best Company, and goes off without Censure, or Disadvantage. Let us now take a Turn or two with Sir Tun-belly's Heiress of 1500 pounds a year. This Young Lady swears, talks smut, and is upon the matter just as rag-manner'd as Mary the Buxsome. 'Tis plain the Relapser copyed Mr. Durfey's Original, which is a sign he was somewhat Pinch'd. Now this Character was no great Beauty in Buxsome; But it becomes the Knights Daughter much worse. Buxsome was a poor Pesant, which made her Rudeness more natural, and expected. But Deputy Lieutenants Children don't use to appear with the Behaviour of Beggars. To breed all People alike, and make no distinction between a Seat, and a Cottage, is not over artful, nor very ceremonious to the Country Gentlemen. The Relapser gives Miss a pretty Soliloquy, I'll transcribe it for the Reader.

She swears by her Maker, 'tis well I have a Husband a coming, or I'de Marry the Baker I would so. No body can knock at the Gate, but presently I must be lock'd up, and, here's the Young Gray-hound——can run loose about the House all day long, she can, 'tis very well!!p. 59.^[417] Afterwards her Language is too Lewd to be quoted. Here is a Compound of Ill Manners, and Contradiction Is this a good Resemblance of Quality, a Description of a great Heiress, and the effect of a Cautious Education? By her Coarsness you would think her Bred upon a Common, and by her Confidence, in the Nursery of the Play-house. I suppose the Relapser Fancies the calling her Miss Hoyden is enough to justifie her Ill Manners. By his favour, this is a Mistake. To represent her thus unhewn, he should have suited her Condition to her Name, a little better. For there is no Charm in Words as to matters of Breeding, An unfashionable Name won't make a Man a Clown. Education is not form'd upon Sounds, and Syllables, but upon Circumstances, and Quality. So that if he was resolv'd to have shown her thus unpolish'd, he should have made her keep Sheep, or brought her up at the Wash-Boul.

Sir Tun-belly accosts Young Fashion much at the same rate of Accomplishment.p. 61.^[418] My Lord,——I humbly crave leave to bid you Welcome in a Cup of Sack-wine. One would imagine the Poet was overdozed before he gave the Justice a Glass. For Sack-wine is too low for a Petty Constable. This peasantly expression agrees neither with the Gentlemans Figure, nor with the rest of his Behaviour. I find we should have a Creditable Magistracy, if the Relapser had the Making them. Here the Characters are pinch'd in Sense, and stinted to short Allowance. At an other time they are over-indulged, and treated above Expectation.

For the purpose. Vanity and Formalizing is Lord Foplingtons part. To let him speak without Aukwardness, and Affectation, is to put him out of his Element. There must be Gumm and stiffening in his Discourse to make it natural However, the Relapser has taken a fancy to his Person, and given him some of the most Gentile raillery in the whole Play. To give an Instance or two. This Lord in Discourse with Fashion forgets his Name, flies out into Sense, and smooth expression, out talks his Brother, and abating the starch'd Similitude of a Watch, discovers nothing of Affectation, for almost a Page together.p. 42.^[419] He relapses into the same Intemperance of good Sense, in an other Dialogue between him and his Brother. I shall cite a little of it.

Y. Fash. Unless you are so kind to assist me in redeeming my Annuity, I know no Remedy, but to go take a Purse.

L. Fopl. Why Faith Tam——to give you my Sense of the Thing, I do think taking a Purse the best Remedy in the World, for if you succeed, you are releiv'd that way, if you are taken——you are reliev'd to'ther.p. 43.^[420]

Fashion being disappointed of a supply quarrels his Elder Brother, and calls him the Prince of Coxcombs.p. 44.^[421]

L. Fopl. Sir I am proud of being at the Head of so prevailing a party.

Y. Fash. Will nothing then provoke thee? draw Coward.

L. Fopl. Look you Tam, your poverty makes your Life so burdensome to you, you would provoke me to a Quarrel, in hopes either to slip through my Lungs into my Estate, or else to get your self run through the Guts, to put an end to your Pain. But I shall disappoint you in both. &c.

This Drolling has too much Spirit, the Air of it is too free, and too handsomly turn'd for Lord Foplingtons Character. I grant the Relapser could not aford to lose these Sentences. The Scene would have suffer'd by the Omission. But then he should have contriv'd the matter so, as that they might, have been spoken by Young Fashion in Asides, or by some other more proper Person. To go on. Miss Hoyden sparkles too much in Conversation. The Poet must needs give her a shining Line or two,p. 64. At top.^[422] which serves only to make the rest of her dullness the more remarkable. Sir. Tun-belly falls into the same Misfortune of a Wit, and rallies above the force of his Capacity.p. 85.^[423] But the place having a mixture of Profaness, I shall forbear to cite it. Now to what purpose should a Fools Coat be embroider'd? Finery in the wrong place is but expensive Ridiculousness. Besides, I don't perceive the Relapser was in any Condition to be thus liberal. And when a Poet is not overstock'd, to squander away his Wit among his Block-heads, is meer Distraction. His men of Sense will smart for this prodigality. Lovelace in his discourse of Friendship, shall be the first Instance. Friendship (says he) is said to be a plant of tedious growth, its Root composed of tender Fibers, nice in their Tast, &c. By this Description the Palate of a Fiber, should be somewhat more nice and distinguishing, then the Poets Judgment. Let us examin some more of his Witty People. Young Fashion fancies by Misses forward Behaviour, she would have a whole Kennel of Beaux after her at London. And then Hey to the Park, and the Play, and the Church, and the Devil.p. 64.^[424] Here I conceive the ranging of the Period is amiss. For if he had put the Play, and the Devil together, the Order of Nature, and the Air of Probability had been much better observ'd.

Afterwards Coupler being out of Breath in coming up stairs to Fashion, asks him why the —— canst thou not lodge upon the Ground-floor?p. 94.^[425]

Y. Fash. Because I love to lye as near Heaven as I can. One would think a Spark just come off his Travels, and had made the Tour of Italy and France, might have rallied with a better Grace! However if he lodg'd in a Garret, 'tis a good Local jest. I had almost forgot one pretty remarkable Sentence of Fashion to Lory.p. 15.^[426] I shall shew thee (says he) the excess of my Passion by being very calm. Now since this Gentleman was in a vein of talking Philosophy to his Man, I'm sorry he broke of so quickly. Had he gone on and shown him the Excess of a Storm and no Wind stirring, the Topick had been spent, and the Thought improv'd to the utmost.

Let us now pass onto Worthy, the Relapsers fine Gentleman. This Spark sets up for Sense, and Address, and is to have nothing of Affectation or Conscience to spoil his Character. However to say no more of him, he grows Foppish in the last Scene, and courts Amanda in Fustian, and Pedantry. First, He gives his Periods a turn of Versification, and talks Prose to her in Meeter. Now this is just as agreeable as it would be to Ride with one Leg, and Walk with the other. But let him speak for himself. His first business is to bring Amanda to an Aversion for her Husband; And therefore he perswades her to Rouse up that Spirit Women ought to bear; and slight your God if he neglects his Angel.p. 99.^[427] He goes on with his Orisons. With Arms of Ice receive his Cold Embraces and keep your Fire for those that come in Flames. Fire and Flames, is Mettal upon Mettal; 'Tis false Heraldry. Extend the Arms of Mercy to his Aid. His zeal may give him Title to your Pity, altho' his Merit cannot claim your Love.Ibid.^[428] Here you have Arms brought in again by Head and shoulders. I suppose the design was to keep up the Situation of the Allegory. But the latter part of the Speech is very Pithy. He would have her resign her Vertue out of Civility, and abuse her Husband on Principles of good Nature. Worthy pursues his point, and Rises in his Address. He falls into a Fit of Dissection, and hopes to gain his Mistress by Cutting his Throat. He is for Ripping up his Faithful Breast, to prove the Reality of his Passion. Now when a Man Courts with his Heart in his Hand, it must be great Cruelty to refuse him! No Butcher could have Thought of a more moving Expedient! However, Amanda continues obstinate, and is not in the usual Humour of the Stage. Upon this, like a well bred Lover he seizes her by Force, and threatens to Kill her. Nay struggle not for all's in vain, or Death, or Victory, I am determin'd.p. 100.^[429] In this rencounter the Lady proves too nimble, and slips through his Fingers. Upon this disappointment, he cries, there's Divinity about her, and she has dispenc'd some Portion on't to me. His Passion is Metamorphos'd in the Turn of a hand: He is refin'd into a Platonick Admirer, and goes off as like a Town Spark as you would wish. And so much for the Poets fine Gentleman.

I should now examine the Relapser's Thoughts and Expressions, which are two other Things of Consideration in a Play. The Thoughts or Sentiments are the Expressions of the Manners, as Words are of the Thoughts.Rapin Reflect, &c.^[430] But the view of the Characters has in some measure prevented this Enquiry. Leaving this Argument therefore, I shall consider his Play with respect to the

Three Unities of Time, Place, and Action.

And here the Reader may please to take notice, that the Design of these Rules, is to conceal the Fiction of the Stage, to make the Play appear Natural, and to give it an Air of Reality, and Conversation.

The largest compass for the first Unity is Twenty Four Hours: But a lesser proportion is more regular. To be exact, the Time of the History, or Fable, should not exceed that of the Representation: Or in other words, the whole Business of the Play, should not be much longer than the Time it takes up in Playing.

The Second Unity is that of Place. To observe it, the Scene must not wander from one Town, or Country to another. It must continue in the same House, Street, or at farthest in the same City, where it was first laid. The Reason of this Rule depends upon the First. Now the Compass of Time being strait, that of Space must bear a Correspondent Proportion. Long journeys in Plays are impracticable. The Distances of Place must be suited to Leisure, and Possibility, otherwise the supposition will appear unnatural and absurd. The

Third Unity is that of Action; It consists in contriving the chief Business of the Play single, and making the concerns of one Person distinguishably great above the rest. All the Forces of the Stage must as it were serve Under one General: And the lesser Intrigues or Underplots, have some Relation to the Main. The very Oppositions must be useful, and appear only to be Conquer'd, and Countermin'd. To represent Two considerable Actions independent of each other, Destroys the beauty of Subordination, weakens the Contrivance, and dilutes the pleasure. It splits the Play, and makes the Poem double. He that would see more upon this subject may consult Corneille.Discourse des Trois Unitez. pt. 3d.^[431] To bring these Remarks to the Case in hand. And here we may observe how the Relapser fails in all the Rules above mention'd.

1st. His Play by modest Computation takes up a weeks Work, but five days you must allow it at the lowest. One day must be spent in the First, Second, and part of the Third Act, before Lord Foplington sets forward to Sir Tun-belly. Now the Length of the Distance, the Pomp of the Retinue, and the Niceness of the Person being consider'd; the journey down, and up again, cannot be laid under four days.p. 88.^[432] To put this out of doubt, Lord, Foplington is particularly careful to tell Coupler, how concern'd he was not to overdrive for fear of disordering his Coach-Horses. The Laws of Place, are no better observ'd than those of Time. In the Third Act the Play is in Town, in the Fourth Act 'tis stroll'd Fifty Miles off, and in the Fifth Act in London again. Here Pegasus stretches it to purpose! This Poet is fit to ride a Match with Witches. Juliana Cox never Switched a Broom stock with more Expedition! This is exactly

Titus at Walton Town, and Titus at Islington.

One would think by the probability of matters, the Plot had been stolen from Dr. O——s.

The Poet's Success in the last Unity of Action is much the same with the former. Lovelace, Amanda, and Berinthia, have no share in the main Business. These Second rate Characters are a detatched Body: Their Interest is perfectly Foreign, and they are neither Friends, nor Enemies to the Plot. Young Fashion does not so much as see them till the Close of the Fifth Act, and then they meet only to fill the Stage: And yet these Persons are in the Poets account very considerable; Insomuch that he has misnamed his Play from the Figure of two of them. This strangness of Persons, distinct Company, and inconnexion of Affairs, destroys the Unity of the Poem. The contrivance is just as wise as it would be to cut a Diamond in two. There is a loss of Lustre in the Division. Increasing the Number, abates the Value, and by making it more, you make it less.

Thus far I have examin'd the Dramatick Merits of the Play. And upon enquiry, it appears a Heap of Irregularities. There is neither Propriety in the Name, nor Contrivance in the Plot, nor Decorum in the Characters. 'Tis a thorough Contradition to Nature, and impossible in Time, and Place. Its Shining Graces as the Author calls them,Pref.^[433] are Blasphemy and Baudy, together with a mixture of Oaths, and Cursing. Upon the whole; The Relapser's Judgment, and his Morals, are pretty well adjusted. The Poet, is not much better than the Man. As for the Profane part, 'tis hideous and superlative.see Chap. 2d.^[434] But this I have consider'd elsewhere. All that I shall observe here is, that the Author was sensible of this Objection. His Defence in his Preface is most wretched: He pretends to know nothing of the Matter, and that 'tis all Printed; Which only proves his Confidence equal to the rest of his Virtues. To out-face Evidence in this manner, is next to the affirming there's no such Sin as Blasphemy, which is the greatest Blasphemy of all. His Apology consists in railing at the Clergy; a certain sign of ill Principles, and ill Manners. This He does at an unusual rate of Rudeness and Spite. He calls them the Saints with Screw'd Faces, and wry Mouths. And after a great deal of scurrilous Abuse too gross to be mention'd, he adds;Pref.^[435] If any Man happens to be offended at a story of a Cock and a Bull, and a Priest and a Bull-dog, I beg his Pardon, &c. This is brave Bear-Garden Language! The Relapser would do well to transport his Muse to Samourgan.** An Academy in Lithuania, for the Education of Bears. Pere Auvill Voyage en Divers Etats, &c. p. 240.^[436] There 'tis likely he might find Leisure to lick his Abortive Brat into shape; And meet with proper Business for his Temper, and encouragement for his Talent.