§ 91 This One Stood the Test of Time
Reading edition
Here is one which at intervals I have been hearing for years. It seems to me it gets better with each time of telling. I wonder if the reader will agree with me that its antiquity does not affect its excellence.
The thing is supposed to have happened in a remote court house of Missouri. A resident of the Ozark Mountains whose reputation was none the best, had been on trial on the charge of horse stealing. The jury returned a verdict of guilty. Taking into consideration the past record of the offender, his Honor on the bench said:
“It is my intention to sentence you to at least eight years at hard labor in State’s prison. Now, then, before sentence is formally pronounced, I shall listen to anything you may have to say in your behalf.”
After a moment of consideration the offender spoke:
“Well,” he said, “I don’t know ez I’ve got ary thing to say only this—it strikes me that you folks ’round this here cote house air purty toler’ble dam’ liberal with other people’s time.”