Note 7 — RELIGIO LAICI.
Reading edition
As will appear from the following extracts:—"While he sat thus in his poetical throne, or rather acting upon the stage of fable and pagan mythology, and transfiguring into beasts almost all mankind, but Turks and infidels, that were out of his road, he never considered what a monster he was himself; a second Gorgon with three heads, for each of which he had a particular employment; with the one, to fawn upon the most infamous usurpers; with the other, at one time to lick the beneficent hands of his Protestant mother, and, bye and bye, to court the charity of his Catholic mamma; while, with the third, he barked and snarled, not only at his first deserted female parent, but also at all other differing sentiments and opinions, which his sovereign had so graciously and generously indulged."
But 'twas his wrath, because his native church Left his high expectations in the lurch. — — — — — — He saw the play-wright laureate debauched By the times, vices which he himself reproached; And, by his grand reform stage-pit fools;, Judged his ability to manage souls. The comedy, to see him preach for aught, She knew might tragic prove to those he taught; By ill instructions to their loss beguiled, Or scorning precepts from a tongue defiled With stage obscenity—— For who could have refrained from sportive mirth, To hear the nation's poet, Bayes, hold forth? Or who would ever practice by the rule Of one they could not chuse but ridicule? The scandal was the greater, the more rare, An ordained play-wright in the house of prayer. While people only flock to hear him chime A rampant sermon forth in brilly rhime; Or else his gaping auditors he feasts With bold Isaiah's raptures, and Ezekiel's beasts. All this the church foresaw, nor could endure Polluted lips should handle things most pure. The Revolter, p. 2.
But, to give the devil his due, I must needs own Mr Bayes has a most powerful and luxurious hand at satire, and may challenge all Christendom to match him; for indeed I never, in my slender province, met any that was worthy to compare to him, unless that unknown, but supposed worthy author, that writ to him upon his at last turning Roman Catholic; for Bayes, like the Vicar of Bray, in Henry VIII. Edward VI. Queen Mary, and Queen Elizabeth's times, was resolved to keep his place; (and the quoting an author to the purpose, is the same thing, the learned say, as if it was his own), and that will, I hope, excuse my putting them down here:—
"Thou mercenary renegade, thou slave, Thou ever changing still to be a knave; What sect, what error, wilt thou next disgrace? Thou art so lude, so scandalously base, That antichristian popery may be Ashamed of such a proselyte as thee; Not all thy rancour, or felonious spite, Which animates thy lumpish soul to write, Could ha' contrived a satire more severe, Or more disgrace the cause thou wouldst prefer. Yet in thy favour, this must be confest, It suits with thy poetic genius best; There thou—— To truths disused, mayst entertain Thyself with stories, more fanciful and vain Than e'er thy poetry could ever fain; Or sing the lives of thy own fellow saints, 'Tis a large field, and thy assistance wants; Thence copy out new operas for the stage, And with their miracles direct the age. Such is thy faith, if faith thou hast indeed, For well we may suspect the poet's creed, Rebel to God, blasphemer o' the king, Oh tell whence could this strange compliance spring? So mayest thou prove to thy new gods as true, As thy old friend, the devil, has been to you. Yet conscience and religion's your pretence, But bread and drink the methologick sense. Ah! how persuasive is the want of bread, Not reasons from strong box more strongly plead. A convert, thou! 'tis past all believing; 'Tis a damned scandal, of thy foes contriving; A jest of that malicious monstrous fame— The honest layman's faith is still the same." Religio Laici, by J. R. a Convert of Mr Bayes.
In such coarse invective were Dryden's theological poems censured by persons, who, far from writing decent poetry, or even common sense, could neither spell, nor write tolerable grammar.