Note 188 — II. OUR DUTIES. (continued 4)

There are, besides, the following customs, the object of which is to express our regard for the memory of the deceased: (1.) A tombstone (‏מצבה‎) is set up in front of or over the grave with the name of the deceased, the date of his death, and such words of praise as are dictated by the love and the esteem in which the deceased was held by the mourners. (2.) A lamp is kept burning188 during the week, or the month, or the year of mourning, and on the anniversary of the day of death (Jahrzeit). (3.) By observing the anniversary of the death as a day devoted to earnest reflection, and to meditation on the merits and virtues of the deceased; we keep away from amusements, and say Kaddish in the course of the Services of the day. Some observe the anniversary as a fast-day. (4.) By doing some mitsvah189 in commemoration of the deceased. (5.) By regarding with respect and piety the wishes of the departed relative or friend, especially those uttered when death was approaching. Our Sages teach: “It is our duty to fulfil the wishes of the departed.”190 The absence of this inner respect and piety makes all the outward signs of mourning, however conscientiously observed, valueless and illusory.