Note 48 — CANTO I. OURSELF!
Reading edition
Of graduated French morality.
This gentleman published in America a small pamphlet, entitled, The Law of Nature, or Principles or Morality, deduced from the Physical Constitution of Mankind and the Universe. In this he tells us, “It is high time to prove that morality is a physical and geometrical science, and as such, susceptible, like the rest, of calculation and mathematical demonstration.”
My friend, doctor Timothy Triangle, is much such another philosopher; but has surpassed the Frenchman in the extent of his views, and made systems which were entirely out of the reach of Mr Volney’s intellect. Among others, was a scale of national character. By this, the latitude and longitude of a place being given, and a sort of tare and tret allowance made for adventitious circumstances, he could ascertain the character of its inhabitants. The latitude of Paris, he affirmed, was that of perfectibility made perfect, and most lucidly manifested in the person of the Liberty-loving Emperor. Rise to the equator, or recede to the pole from that parallel, and human nature dwindles in arithmetical progression.
This gentleman was a great admirer of the principles of the French revolution, and made out, mathematically, how much blood, horror, and devastation would be necessary to give that predominance to France and French principles, which would terminate in philosophy’s millennium.
Dr Triangle likewise made geometrical scales of morality; which were not very essentially different from the principles of Volney. These scales were adapted accurately to the interest, feelings, passions, and prepossessions of the persons for whom they were intended, and so elastic that they would stretch to suit any case, and authorize any action which could be conceived or perpetrated.