Note 224 — Chapter VI

Eleven genders seem nine more than are necessary, and the use of such a large number suggests to one that in Sir Thomas's Universal Language the distinctions in question were to receive an undue amount of attention. At the same time, fault has been found with our English language for being somewhat defective in accentuating these distinctions; and an attempt to correct this shortcoming, to a certain extent, has been made by Southey in The Doctor. He proposed to anglicise the orthography of the female garment, "which is indeed the sister to the shirt," and then to utilise the hint offered in its new form: thus Hemise and Shemise. In letter-writing every person knows that male and female letters have a distinct character; they should therefore, he thought, be generally distinguished thus, Hepistle and Shepistle. And as there is the same marked difference in the writing of the two sexes, he proposed Penmanship and Penwomanship. Erroneous opinions in religion being promulgated in this country by women as well as men, the teachers of such false doctrine may be divided into Heresiarchs and Sheresiarchs, so that we should speak of the Heresy of the Quakers and the Sheresy of Joanna Southcote's people. The troublesome affection of the diaphragm, which every one has experienced, is, upon the same principle, to be called, according to the sex of the patient, Hecups, or Shecups, which, upon the principle of making our language truly British, is better than the more classical form of Hiccups and Hæcups. In its objective use the word becomes Hiscups or Hercups; and in like manner Histerics should be altered into Herterics, the complaint never being masculine. It is perhaps a little surprising that this suggestion should have lain before the British public for half a century, and have been left unutilised.