Note 1 — PART II

The soon-forgotten petition of Julian's youth for a "bodily sickness" does not seem to have had any connection in her mind with special Revelation: it was desired neither as in any way a sign of invisible things nor as a direct means of beholding them. And probably, as a matter of fact, the sickness that was granted helped her in the way that she had desired, helped her to the sight of the Revelation, not directly, but by drawing her spirit to that utter dependence on and trust in God that is death's first lesson for all, that uttermost self-devotion to God that is life's last exercise. This spiritual state, with all that through years had gone before of feeling and thought and life's experience, made her ready to be shewn with special largeness and clearness God's love: how it filled the empty place of sin and pain and sorrow with its divine fulness. As to the "bodily sight" introducing the Revelation, a sight of "parts of the Passion," which may be compared with "The XV. Oos"—'Orationes'—Passion-prayers each beginning with 'O' (v. Hora of Sarum), it was recognised by Julian herself, even at the time of her seeing it, as being a sight of things "not in substance or nature." In this recognition it was proved to be neither mental delusion nor mere "raving" delirium. But it would, it seems, be natural that in her weakness of body and her exaltation of spirit (so tense that the strength of her self-surrender to death seemed to cast her back upon bodily life in the painless world between the two) some sort of physical illusion should be brought about by her prolonged gaze upon the Face of the Crucifix, and that in her desire to enter into the sufferings of the Passion as fully as those friends of her Lord's that beheld it, Julian thus gazing in the midst of night's shadows and the dim light of dawn should seem to herself to behold the sacred drops, depicted beneath the painted or sculptured Crown of Thorns, flow down "right plenteously." Julian gave thanks for this and all the "bodily sight" as a gift from God. By Him sickness and illusion, as well as things evil, are "suffered" to come, and by Him Revelation is given according to sundry times in diverse manners. Gain of the spirit through failure of the body—and no less by illusions of fever than by trance-state visions their seers speak of, when Death passes the Spirit half through the gates—would indeed be accordant with the truth of the Shewing that came to Julian, how man is raised through shame and death into glory and life, since in the weakness of failing men the strength of Christ is made perfect.