Note 79.2 — PSYCHE’S TASK

The custom of avoiding parents-in-law among the tribes of British Central Africa and Northern Rhodesia. Among the Anyanja, a Bantu people of British Central Africa, “a man used never to speak to his mother-in-law till after the birth of his first son. Neither a man nor his wife will eat in company of their mother or father-in-law until after birth of a child. If a man sees his mother-in-law eat, he has insulted her and is expected to pay damages. If a man meets his mother-in-law coming along the road and does not recognise her, she will fall down on the ground as a sign, when he will run away. In the same way a father-in-law will signal to his daughter-in-law; the whole idea being that they are unworthy to be noticed till they have proved that they can beget children.”79.2 However, if a wife should prove barren for three years, the rules of avoidance between the young couple and their parents-in-law cease to be observed.79.3 Hence the custom of avoidance among these people is associated in some way with the wife’s fertility. So among the Awemba, a Bantu tribe of Northern Rhodesia, “if a young man sees his mother-in-law coming along the path, he must retreat into the bush and make way for her, or if she suddenly comes upon him he must keep his eyes fixed on the ground, and only after a child is born may they converse together.”79.4 Among the Angoni, another Bantu tribe of British Central Africa, it would be a gross breach of etiquette if a man were to enter his son-in-law’s house; he may come within ten paces of the door, but no nearer. A woman may not even approach her son-in-law’s house, and she is never allowed to speak to him. Should they meet accidentally on a path, the son-in-law gives way and makes a circuit to avoid encountering his mother-in-law face to face.79.5 Here then we see that a man avoids his son-in-law as well as his mother-in-law, though not so strictly.