Note 167 — Chapter III

(a) Cf. St John's Life in the Forest of the Far East.—"Besides the ordinary attentions which a young man (of the Sarawak Dyaks) is able to pay the girl he desires to make his wife, as helping her in her work, and carrying home her load of vegetables, as well as making her presents, there is a peculiar testimony of regard that is worthy of note. About nine or ten at night, when the family is supposed to be asleep within the mosquito curtains in the private apartment, the lover quietly slips back the bolt by which the door is fastened on the inside, and enters the room on tip-toe. He goes to the curtains of his beloved, gently awakes her, and she, on hearing who it is, rises at once, and they sit conversing together and making arrangements for the future, in the dark, over a plentiful supply of sireh leaf and betel-nut, which it is the gentleman's duty to provide. If, when awoke, the young lady arises and accepts the prepared betel-nut, happy is the lover, for his suit is in a fair way to prosper; but, if on the other hand, she rises and says, 'Be good enough to blow up the fire,' or 'to light the lamp,' then his hopes are at an end, for that is the usual form of dismissal. Of course if this kind of nocturnal visit is frequently repeated, the parents do not fail to discover it, although it is a point of honour among them to take no notice of their visitor; and if they approve of him, matters take their course, but if not, they use their influence with their daughter to ensure the utterance of the fatal 'Please blow up the fire.'"

(b) "Customs of the Minahassers," Hickson's Celebes, p. 272.—"Two young people meet at the mapalus (communal gatherings for work, followed by a feast), and over the feasting and singing become interested in one another, and fall in love. Then follows the courtship, which is not supposed to be open and above-board, but is, nominally at least, carried on in secret. It consists in nocturnal visits of the young man to the young woman's house, visits which although frequently attended by immorality, are not necessarily so, and are often perfectly decorous and formal.

"The young woman prepares a mat for her lover, and after dark he comes to visit her. The parents are, of course, aware that their daughter is receiving a visitor, and are indeed proud that she should be thus so sought after; but at the same time they warn her to be cautious. The lover departs again before daybreak, in order that there may be no gossip in the village about their engagement until all is settled. These visits extend over some weeks, and at last one morning he remains until the day has broken, as a sign that the engagement may be formally announced."