Note (36) — CANTO THIRD.
Reading edition
The following characteristic lines are from the “Address to the Tooth-ache,” by Robert Burns:—
“My curse upon your venomed stang, That shoots my tortured gums alang, And through my lugs gi’es money a twang, Wi’ gnawing vengeance! Tearing my nerves wi’ bitter pang, Like racking engines! “When fevers burn, or ague freezes, Rheumatics gnaw, or cholic squeezes, Our neighbors’ sympathy may ease us Wi’ pitying moan; But thou—the hell o’ a’ diseases, Ay mocks our groan! “Where’er the place be priests ca’ hell, Whence a’ the tones o’ misery yell, And ranked plagues their numbers tell, In dreadfu’ raw; Thou—tooth-ache, surely bear’st the bell, Amangst them a.’”
“We were interrupted by Mr. L. He is one of your plain, common sense sort of people, practical, fixed in his own opinions, a little inclined to stoicism, with a dash of savage philosophy, partly affected to hide tenderer feelings, and about six feet and an inch high, without his shoes.
“‘What’s the matter with your face?’ inquired he.
“‘Tooth ache,’ said I, ‘all swelled: keeps me awake, and’——
“‘Try my nitri dulcis and alum pulv.,’ said W.
“‘Curse your nitri dulcis and alum pulv.,’ said L., ‘there is but one cure for the tooth-ache, and that’s a sure one,’
“I looked tremblingly up. He had his great, square fist doubled, as if he held something in his hand. He raised it to his mouth, and screwed around with the motion of a dentist, uprooting some huge, double grinder, with three diverging prongs. My friends were silent. I turned a little pale. He saw what an impression he had made, and with a grin that went to my very soul, added;—
“‘Out with it, you fool, and there’s an end. It’s worth all the nitri dulcis and alum pulv. in the universe.’
“There was a melancholy truth in what he remarked. It sunk into my heart; I made up my mind; and when my worthy advisers left me, I walked around to Mr. ——. There was an awful silence—a moment of intense fear—a slight struggle—an agony—a cry from the heart’s core—I came out the happiest of men.”—(Dreams and Reveries of a Quiet Man, by Theodore S. Fay, Esq. Vol. I. p. 187.)